Re: Call: Penny R/Cris M
You tell them calmly, without expectation, and you stick to whatever agreement comes out of it all at the end. You both have to. You can't pull back and get reeled back in either, honey. She can't do that to you, you can't do that to her. You're gonna keep running around in circles just like this if you do. If she feels pressured just because you feel a way that she ain't ready to feel or say, then you aren't on the same page. You're willing to wait for her to get on that page? What if she never is? What if she gets on the other side of her issues and realizes she doesn't want none of y'all?
You got a life to live, you want to live it with her, she ain't ready to try that yet. You back off, be patient. But don't compromise either. And I don't mean you got to run off with the barmaid either. Those aren't your only options. You got a right to say what you're willing to stand, and maybe you feel like you could stand anything because you love her so much, but can you really stand this? You ain't feeling good, you're hurting deep. And is she willing to stand anything for you?
Labels are what you make them, and she's got to learn that in her own way. This is deeper than labels, it seems and sounds deeper than labels. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.