Re: Call: Penny R/Cris M
[She listens, really listens, it's a lot to take in, it's a lot to handle, and for someone who regularly lets her heart break for other people, Cris is the recipient of this week's (and last week's and the week before that etc) broken heart donation. But if they're talking real honest now and she's listening real good, she waits until he's done, and lets him cry. Her own voice cracks a bit and she clears her throat.]
Honey, you gotta step back. [It's an agreement, and an assessment.] You can't control what other people do, and you can't make them love you the way you want them to. I know that real well. You don't want to change her, we can't change anyone. Of course you don't, you love her. But this ain't healthy honey, not for either of you. And you know she's got to get healthy a little too. And you honey, got to get healthy. You're not just you, all by yourself in the world, you know that.
I know this hurts, and aches and breaks your heart. It breaks mine. But a lot has happened to you, and around you. You ain't been looking out for you one bit, and you haven't been letting anyone else do it either. And if you ain't looking out for you, everything and everyone around you is gonna suffer.
You know? You gotta get you right, Cris. I don't know what Sam is gonna do, or what this other girl you met in the bar is all about. I know you ain't ever done something like that, but I have and I promise it ain't the end of the world. You can say goodbye and let it be over.
But Sam and you? I asked her once when she was trying to tell me how bad she was for you, if you were bad for her. Because I know you were worried. And maybe it's neither. Maybe it's just bad timing, maybe it's love that's too heavy, or too much. Maybe it works out, honey. Maybe it doesn't, but you ask me what the fuck you do if it doesn't?
What you do honey, is you get right, and you stay right and you take care of you and yours. And you lean on me when it hurts. This ain't healthy, Cris. This ain't good. I know there's love there, I get that, that don't make it good. I know that's hard to hear, I know that's me from the outside who ain't seen the good times. And I'm hearing now about all this shit, and I ain't seen the things she does that make you smile. Or make you feel good. But the kind of bad that happens, and the kind of bad you're feeling, honey, it's unhealthy. I ain't saying you have to throw in the towel, but I'm saying pulling back was a good choice. And I'm saying pulling back a little further, and living your life for just a little while is okay. Getting it back together while punkin is at camp, is okay, so when she comes home she can see you smiling.
These are people you care about, people you love, people so entwined in each other that maybe I don't get it all. Maybe you don't either. But this situation ain't good. And you gotta have good situations for your baby. You know that, you know that better than anyone. I know it's on your mind. It has to be, she's the most important person in your life. She's off somewhere safe. So right now you be the most important person in your life, because when she gets home, you're still gonna be the most important person in hers and she deserves you at your best.