It's a Graves thing (soundofwings) wrote in rooms, @ 2015-06-11 09:59:00 |
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Entry tags: | !marvel comics, *log, death, eddie nigma |
Marvel log, Muerte and Eddie
Who: Muerte and Eddie
What: Cuddle time and words? And some angst?
Where: Their apartment over the comic shop - Marvel
When: Shortly after she gives up being Deathly.
Warnings/Rating: Some residual sads?
She felt wrung-out. Exhausted. A little shell-shocked. Washed thin. Barely herself.
Eons of eternity had been condensed down to two steamer trunks, some assorted luggage, a few hatboxes, and other various cartons. She'd found herself a flat cart to put everything on, piled it as best she could before her visit to Destiny's Garden, put Slim and Wandsworth's bowl (she'd need something better now - bowls weren't actually good for fish that lived outside of her realm) on the very top, and pushed it out the DC door with shaky hands and on shaky legs. It wasn't easy to get it to Marvel through the hotel, but she managed (without tipping the fish, thank goodness), and guided her things inside her new door.
It let her out a few blocks from the shop, and with a sigh she began to make her way back to the shop and the apartment. Back home.
When the shop front loomed up in front of her, she came to a surprised stop, looking up at it. Her walk hadn't taken as long as she'd expected, her mind cushioning itself from thinking too much and being too aware. Instead of trying to wrangle her things upstairs, she just pushed the cart into the shop and locked the door behind herself again - they weren't quite ready to open yet, but they were getting close. And then she made her way to the staircase that linked the shop with the apartment and made her way upstairs, only carrying the fishbowl.
"Eddie?"
Her voice was quiet, hollow, and uncertain. The bowl was set to the side, and she hesitated only a little bit before toeing off her shoes and making her way to the bed. Their bed. It was suddenly the only place she wanted to be just then, and she crawled in and under the covers, closing her eyes.
The thing was, she knew it was the right decision. It was the choice that needed to be made, and she'd been making it in her mind for months. But to actually follow through… it was harder than she'd expected. She just needed… time.
Eddie’s anxiousness came from a tumbling mess of riddles and questions. Thousands of blinking neon lights in the back of his head telling him a thousand more possibilities. His mind whirred like a pinball machine with the metal ball getting trapped in an endless loop of ringing round bumpers. He could imagine her in that cloudy garden with all her power back, all the knowledge in the world and beyond. He could see her going to turn herself, to take that endless step off the cliff into mortality and simply saying no. Simply deciding that as much as she loved this comic book shop, as much as she cared about him, it really couldn’t compare. He could see so many variations of this, so many ways their happiness could end in lonely misery and his stomach wouldn’t stop doing flips over it.
While Muerte was out, Eddie had spoken to Stephanie. Mostly to ask for his animals back, partially to see if she was still alive. Within a few comments he could tell the blonde bat was in a place as dark as the time he left her. He didn’t feel guilty about it (and god he was relieved he wasn’t in love with her anymore), but he wondered if things didn’t work out with Muerte if he’d end up like her. If he’d sink and sink until he was back where he was at that hotel party of Blazers and dozens of drinks. He wondered if there was a strength limit to his optimism, if one day he was just going to burst and never be able to get it all back.
So, he worried. He worried about Muerte. He worried about himself. He worried about them. Eddie believed they’d land somewhere in the middle, that Muerte would come back soon, soon and he’d be there for her without expecting her to suddenly be better. He knew when that door opened, they wouldn’t pop champagne and make love to 80’s music. He was fine with that. And, really as long as she came back home, he’d be okay.
To avoid sitting at the door or drinking his nerves away, Eddie went to go tinker on some computers that he bought on the cheap just for the sake of repairing and giving them away to kids who needed them. The process of fixing a computer was the first form of therapy for him and doing it for a good cause kept his mind at ease. He couldn’t stop his thoughts from wandering to Muerte and how she was doing (the struggle to keep himself from messaging her was real), but it helped. And after a day’s worth of work, he was content and calmer than when she left.
He was in his workshop when she called his name and he followed the sound of her voice and footsteps into the bedroom. It was dark with the streetlamps outside illuminating the bed and he smiled when he saw her there. Relieved. Without saying anything, he climbed in bed next to her, wearing his nerdy t-shirt and PJ bottoms that he had put on after the sun set. He reached out to touch her. “Hey.”
Eyes closed, she could hear his soft steps approach the bedroom, heard him move across the space. The bed shifted, and his careful touch combined with his quiet greeting uncorked the hurt in the back of her throat, and the tears started again. Different than the silent ones as she'd roamed through Destiny's garden, they caught painfully and shook her entire body. She didn't want to put this on him, not when she knew that he might misinterpret it as remorse or regret. But it was just emotion - too big, too much, and she didn't even have the words to explain it.
She reached out for him, two arms that didn't feel like they had enough strength to them. She found his shoulders, shifted herself over, and clung to him as her whole body started to shake in delayed reaction. "I…"
Eddie made a sad noise in the back of his throat when she started crying. His arms reached out for her, pulling her in as she tugged him close. He buried his face in her hair and breathed in the garden she had come from, the scent of dying candles. Who knew how long she would smell like a church in spring, who knew if it would even last past that evening. “It’s okay.” Eddie whispered as her voice trailed off and his arms wrapped tighter around her waist.
The sound of limbs shifting through sheets was strange mixed with her sobbing. He wished he could do more than hold her, but what could he say? He sighed and opened his eyes, looking up at the ceiling, their ceiling, and was suddenly overwhelmed by how much he needed her, how much it meant to him that they were here in a place they could both call home. “I missed you.” He whispered. Yes, he missed her. Even if she was gone a single day. And the way he said the words, it felt like there was more behind it. Muerte would have heard it said like that more than a few times by now.
She let herself be shifted, pulled closer, going easily, like there was no weight or strength left to her in that moment. She still felt strange, like she'd been carrying a larger self around before, even in Marvel. But now that was gone, and it was like stepping through the door to be human all over again. Smaller and vulnerable, and she knew that she wouldn't go back to the other door for a very, very long time. Maybe ever. She wasn't sure that she could step through again, knowing that it would never be the way she remembered it. Not because it would change, but because she had.
She couldn't stop the tears yet, even at Eddie's soft words, the reassurance that it would be alright. She could only nod, just a little, into his shoulder. Because she knew that as awful as it felt in the moment, she would move on. She had to. It was her own decision, and not one she'd made lightly. In the who and what that was responsible for her decision, Eddie was only a part of it. Which meant there were still other parts that would pull her through. It was just…
Terrifying.
The way his arms went tighter helped. It was a tether to things that mattered - him, the shop, a new life. A life, in general. She knew that his pets would show up soon, and she had her fish. It could work. It would work. She'd get past the fear, it was just going to take a little bit. But if he could help…
I missed you. With her tears at least starting to slow, the quiet whisper reached her ears the way the words were meant to. Said with a weight that used to be dangerous for an entire city, at least, if not more. Now they were just dangerous for them, and in a very different way. It was enough that she tipped her face up, eyes still closed and tears on her cheeks, but she managed to find the angle of his jaw, nose pressed there for a moment before she shifted more and pressed her lips there instead. "Missed you too…" And meant in much the same way he did.
He didn’t expect anything back, he just wanted to say how he felt. Eddie wasn’t just a romantic, he was expressive (sometimes a little too much) and simply being able to be honest about his emotions was a big deal to him. Of course he wanted her to feel the same, he was sure that she did, and so when her lips brushed his jaw and she murmured back the words to him, his heart felt like it had been electrified. She could feel him smile and then push it back down like a jack-in-the-box that was in need of repair. He couldn’t help himself. She made him feel good, even when the world was falling apart and she had stumbled into bed feeling half empty.
The smile faded as quickly as it appeared and he held her for a long time in that darkness. Letting her get a sense of things, letting her simply cry against him. A slight turn of his head and he kissed her cheek, not caring if it was ruddy with salt. His lips found the edge of her mouth and he kissed her there too, a lingering sort of thing to help her find some footing in the scary, mortal world. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked after a moment and then pulled back to try and look at her.
Her tears continued as she laid there, slower as the sobbing faded away, but she couldn't control her crying in general. She knew that she would end up with a headache, but there was no other choice until she could control herself again. And unfortunately, Eddie's nerdy t-shirt was taking the brunt of it. "I'm getting you soggy," she finally managed, quiet and wavering. She started to move a little, as if she was going to shift away, but it was only a few seconds before she went still again.
She didn't turn toward the kiss, but she didn't turn away from it either. Part of her wanted to move, to close the distance and kiss him for real, to be able to get lost in something so consuming that it would distract her from what had happened. What was still happening. But she didn't want to take new steps forward while she was feeling so broken and still so wrong. Instead, she let herself allow Eddie to move back just a little, and even though it was mostly dark in the room, she looked up at him. "I was a runaway. In the dreams." It was a little out of left field and just as soft as she'd been with her other words. Seeming like it had nothing to do with why she was currently crying. But it did.
“I think soggy is a good look for me.” He joked quietly and ran his fingers through her hair to tell her to stay. That she could cry through the fabric and he wouldn’t mind. And, maybe a part of him wanted her to give into the kiss because the heat of affection would make things easier, but he knew there wasn’t supposed to be an easy solution to these things. Instead he leaned his head back on the pillow, tilting his chin down to look at her as she looked up.
“A runaway. Ah, yes. I can see that.” Eddie kept one hand on the small of her back and brought up the other to rub his face. “I’ve felt like that too, honestly. I don’t think it’s fair what with all we’re building here, but it makes sense.” He put his hand behind his head, arm angling across the pillow. He had felt like a runaway since he asked Stephanie for a separation. He took the last of his happiness and ran for it instead of trying to make things work in a dying relationship. “What was it like? To dream of being a runaway?” Eddie liked details, he couldn’t help it.
Muerte (could she call herself that now?) stayed quiet for a long moment, trying to figure out what she was feeling, how she should respond. With the help of Eddie's presence, she ended up somewhere between serious and light. "You think every look is a good look for you." It was soft, and not quite what her teasing normally was, but it was a start. A very tiny baby step. Her voice still wavered, though, and she likely wouldn't push away his hands and his comfort for a very long time, if he allowed her to stay there.
"I think…" It was a tentative start, and one that trailed off almost as soon as she began. It was hard to find exactly what direction she wanted to go with her words. "I've always been the same. I wasn't as against change as Dream was, but what I was never really changed. It was why I existed in the first place, and a responsibility on top of that. And now…" She turned her face to press it to the damp front of Eddie's shirt for just a second. Not quite a nuzzle, but an attempt at something like reassurance. "I love the shop. I love all the ideas we have for it. I like the city and the thought of helping people." She paused, her voice softer and tender. "I love what the apartment is becoming and… being here." The 'with you' wasn't voiced, but there was a silent space for it. "But I can't help feeling guilty, too. Like I'm abandoning everything I'm supposed to be."
The words were difficult, but there were other questions to answer, and she did her best to take a breath and explain it. "It was weird. I was me, but not. There were two of them. Dreams. People. The first one…" There was more guilt there, mixed with shyness and awkwardness. "I couldn't give her what she needed. The affection. And the second." Silent for a moment with the memory of water gone stained dark. "I couldn't help him either. He'd killed someone and was so upset by it and I thought I could help, but… we ran out of time."
“I know what you mean.” Eddie sighed and kept his eyes up at the ceiling. “I feel like I should live, work and play in Gotham. That it’s my home, that wanting something outside of my world is- well it’s running away.” He paused, hand gently rubbing up and down her back as he thought. “Maybe you weren’t supposed to be Death forever. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to be a criminal until I died. Maybe we’re exactly where we need to be.” A glance down to her and a shrug along with a long exhale. “I don’t know.” It had always been difficult for him to admit that he didn’t know something, but experience in love and life had taught him that pretending that he knew what the future held was pointless. There was something in his voice that said if she regretted it, really regretted walking out on who she was, she should go back. That he didn’t want to hold her in place just like she didn’t want to do it to him.
His eyebrow quirked at the mention of a woman and affection. His hand stilled its slow trek up and down her back. He wondered, oh god he wondered. Eddie knew that it was a dream, that whatever happened wasn’t supposed to have any bearing on them, on their relationship, but how could he not wonder? There was also the factor of her keeping it from him for so long, which either meant it actually wasn’t a big deal or it was such a big deal she needed time to figure out how to break it to him. The whole thought process tensed his body up and he didn’t say anything for minutes, simply trying to work through his own thoughts.
Finally: “Oh?”
"I don't know either." It was hard for her to say the words too. for so long, she at least could see how a person's life was meant to go. Not in the same way Destiny did, but she knew what they would do leading from birth until death. In the other doors, most that she'd found with only a few exceptions, she didn't have that. And now… she never would again. So she had to muddle through like everyone else. It was terrifying and thrilling in the very same breath. And she was glad that Eddie was still there with a hand on her back, and a warm, solid body to curl around. She heard the option of an out that he was giving her, but she knew that there were some things that he couldn't actually offer, and that was one of them. She'd made her decision.
There wasn't a way for her to go back.
The slow and eventual stop of his hand caught her attention, setting her up to be very aware of the too-casual tone of his voice on the single syllable of his question. Even so, it took her a second to figure out the probable meaning behind it. She shifted just enough to look up at him, her eyes puffy and red from crying, visible even in the dim of the room. "She was naked. She wanted to kiss, and then she wanted more. And the kissing didn't feel quite right and I… just… thought of you. I knew that it was supposed to be someone else and…" She blinked, looking away, and her voice went softer. "And I'm just going to stop talking now…"
The expression on Eddie’s face was something similar to a puppy dog being locked outside without understanding what he did wrong. There was no confusion, just simply large brown eyes and a sad expression of being abandoned for simply being a mutt instead of a glorious purebreed. His mind whirred suddenly, running a mile a minute and telling him that he it was okay to just feel something and slowly work through it. That he didn’t have to change his reaction to fit her needs, that Muerte of all people didn’t want that in the first place. So, he’d feel bad. He’d sulk. And, then he’d get over it. That was what his mind decided, no matter what she was about to tell him.
But, her words made him chuckle. A soft and harmless thing. His huge brown eyes slowly returned to their usual clever glance and he reached to touch her face. “Ah, I’ve really gotten under your skin, haven’t I?” Eddie teased as gently as he could. Her confession was something wonderful, something uniquely her and it was also fragile. Too much teasing and it’d lose its magic. “I worried. I worried you’d find someone you liked better than me. It’s an irrational thing. Green jealousy. A stupid human thing.”
She saw his expression shifting, sad and a little hurt, thoughts behind it that she couldn't read. She just knew that it wasn't a good expression, and she wanted it gone. Not that she wanted him to hide it. Just that she wanted to get rid of what was causing him to make it. Even if she didn't know what it was that was causing it. But then, without her doing anything, he chuckled (a real one, not one of those forced things he sometimes let out), and her worry eased at least a little. Even if his words did make her blush and look away. "Don't dwell on it too much or your hats won't fit." She was quiet, embarrassed, but it wasn't a bad feeling.
His tease came along with a smile, and her gaze shifted to it. Curved but not malicious, and she found herself leaning up to kiss it - him - even though she'd been trying not to just a few minutes earlier. What was the point in keeping herself from it, when she knew it would help her feel even just a little better? Kissing him, laying next to him in their bed, in their apartment - they were all at least part of the reason she found herself in the situation in the first place. Sure, a lot of it was because she could no longer exist as she had been (no matter how much the shift was making her ache), but she'd been telling the truth to Destiny that she was there because Eddie had given her a place to land. And if that meant that she was able to kiss him when she wanted to (needed to), then she was going to do it.
She'd just pressed her lips to his when the rest of his words sank in, and she pulled back again. "I hadn't even thought that you might…" Her gaze shifted back up to him, intense on her face and just the beginning hint of worry behind her eyes. "Is that something I need to worry about now?" There was almost a bit of alarm to her voice, like discovering something else about being human was going to be one thing too much in the moment.
His smile turned a little warmer as she pressed closer for a kiss and there was a rumble from the back of his throat. First he simply let her kiss him, appreciating the affection like she was giving him something. Then, he touched her cheek and kissed her back, lifting his head off the pillow a little to press closer. He was grateful for how she was, how she treated him. They had spent time isolated from the world with only money and living arrangements to worry about. They both knew that it wasn’t going to stay that way forever and in his experience it was the external stuff that tended to corrupt everything. If they couldn’t get past a hotel party or handle their own baggage, there was no hope for them sticking together.
But, Muerte brought out a kinder side to him that he had tried to keep hidden from her for a long time. He had tried to shove back before when they were only just friends, tried to keep her from seeing the affection he wanted to share with her. She also mellowed him out, made him stop and feel things before steaming ahead. Both of these things were good for him and gave him hope that they’d last even if his previous relationship couldn’t.
Lost in thought, he snapped back when he noticed the worry in her eyes and he shook his head. “It’s such a minor thing. A strange little voice in the back of my head.” Eddie smirked at the red flag going up behind her eyes. “Don’t you think you’d feel the same? Even just a little?”
Kissing was better than thinking. She'd come (fairly easily) to that conclusion. It had never quite made sense to her before, when she was on the outside, watching. But being caught in the middle of it was another story altogether. It let her mind go still for a while when everything was chaotic and complicated. But she was aware enough of the fact that she needed to be realistic, too. She couldn't pretend that everything was 100% fine when it wasn't. Sometimes they needed to talk instead. But at least she could stay curled near him when they did.
The worry still bled across her face, and she shook her head. Just a little. "I don't…" The thought started, stuttered, and shifted direction. "I was talking to Selina a while back about…" A sudden and too-dark blush betrayed what they might have been talking about, even though she didn't finish that statement. "...Things. And she asked if I couldn't think of anyone else I might want to…" Another pause, and she sighed at herself as she fumbled to finish her thoughts. "And I couldn't. Think of anyone else. So you shouldn't worry. And I won't worry. And there'll be less worrying all around." Cheeks still flushed, she looked at him. "Okay?"
Eddie kept thinking about something Selina had said months ago about romantics being attracted to the naive. It wasn’t a word he’d really use to describe Muerte, but she was new to so many things, she had never been with anyone. He wondered if that was the perfect combination, if he needed someone who would blush and admit that she only wanted him, that her first time couldn’t be with anyone else. No one had ever talked to him like that before. People from Gotham skipped over those nice, intimate moments with each other because their lives moved way, way too fast.
She made him feel like he could start over. That some of that baggage wasn’t so heavy after all. “Okay.” He nodded after a moment of smiling at her and then inched closer for a slow, gentle kiss. “I like less worrying. I’m a man who could do with much less worrying, don’t you think?” He let his voice lift up in that Riddler roll of words and it sounded like he was practicing for the stage, a half hearted soft shoe towards how he sounded with his green on. Eddie was a man who dove in and out of personas as it suited him, as a way to lighten the mood, even.
The minute the words were out from her mouth, she wanted to take them back, feeling too exposed by them, that they were things she shouldn't actually be saying to him. (That they were things that shouldn't be said to anyone - too big and too vulnerable.) She started to inch back, like maybe physical distance would make up for those too-big words, but his arms were still around her, keeping her near, and then he moved even closer to kiss her again. It was another distraction, a blip in thoughts that wanted to race away with her in their grasp, and she wondered for a moment if he was derailing them on purpose to keep her from slipping away.
She knew the lilt of his voice, and did her best to keep track of where it was, what it sounded like. She hoped that if it ever got too high, too fast, too strained, she'd be able to pull him back. She hoped that she wouldn't be the cause of it in the first place. In the moment, she simply prodded carefully gentle fingers just under his ribs. "I think you have enough to worry about without me adding to it. Let's put it that way."
He made sure the kiss landed before letting her squirm out if she wanted, though he knew in the back of his head that she wasn’t going to. Perhaps he used to have a fear that she’d come to realize how little she actually wanted to be with him or that being human would make her preferences change to something tall, dark and handsome (or curvy, ginger and pretty). That fear had fallen apart the more time they spent together. The way she looked at him, the way her body curved into his, that made him realize she really wanted him, even if admitting to it made her nervous.
He gave an oof! when she poked him and laughed gently, scooting away from her. “Me? Stressed about the world? Don’t be silly.” Eddie teased and after a moment inched back closer to her. He smiled up at her, glad his eyes had finally adjusted to the dark so he could see her a lot better. “Do you worry about us?” Eddie asked after a moment, reaching to hold one of her free hands with his, lacing their fingers together. “Do you worry about me?” And that was a loaded question. Eddie knew he wasn’t a simple man, that he tended to get himself in trouble or push himself too far. He thought keeping in mind her worries would make him more balanced, more aware.
If anything, she moved toward the kiss instead of away from it. She wouldn't have been able to find the words to define what it was about Eddie that she liked so much, even if someone had asked her. It had started with their friendship and the way he'd made the effort to get to know her, and that (even with those very difficult difficulties they'd had for a while) had been the first thing about him she'd liked. It was a list that had started there and continued to grow, different things at different points in time. It was already a relatively long list by the time she'd begun spending time in doors that made her human, and that humanity had added new things to the list. Things that she added because of watching him and looking at him instead of just knowing. Like the angle of his shoulders and how it was different under suits and under t-shirts. The crook of his fingers when he was working on something delicate. The way his eyes were dark and bright at the same time. It was a list of physical added to the less tangible, and no one else fit that list. She was just maybe still coming to terms with that in a way that kept her from voicing it.
She didn't move when he inched away, waiting for his return and then slipping an arm over his stomach, around his waist. His questions were easily answered, no hesitation at all. "All the time." She worried about them. She worried about him. She worried about herself and how she would impact him. She didn't like to think about it or talk much about it, but for as long as the list was of things she liked about Eddie, there was a list of her worries that was even longer.
Eddie always marveled (though normally very privately) at how well their time together had gone. Sure, there had been misunderstandings and all the growing pains that a new relationship could go through, but it was easy spending all day with her. Picking out things for the shop, making sure the apartment didn’t have any leaky faucets or mold on the ceiling, figuring out what new furniture to buy. He enjoyed normal things like going out for dinner or adventuring down a street they had never been was easy, it was so goddamned easy. He learned the different variations of her smile, he figured out how to get her to pull out The Look and he let himself be pleasantly surprised by everything else. They were building a life and while part of him knew that was supposed to be frightening, he didn’t want to turn away from something that felt good.
As for physically finding her attractive? Well, everyone knew he had a thing for her pretty early on. The long stares, the easy affection. The unsaid lure that he cut the strings to time and time again to keep the commitment to a blonde bat he had once devoted his heart to. He had always believed that in a different life, he and Muerte would have something special. He just didn’t know it would be a life he got to live. He knew she was special, that this was special, so he wanted to do what he could to keep it from crumbling like his last relationship.
He watched her head fill with worry and his smile faded. “Can I help?” Eddie asked softly. And, he didn’t really expect an answer to all her problems, for her to simply hand off her worries to him. But, the question was still standing.
Laying there, her fingers plucked at the material of his t-shirt, an absent little gesture. She was starting to pick up more of those, the stillness she'd once had disappearing (some of the time) into small quirks and habits that betrayed her new humanity. With just her one hand, her fingers folded over the fabric and wrapped it around the tip of her finger as she thought, her expression going a little distant as she did her best to figure out if there was anything Eddie could help with.
And she finally shook her head. "I don't think so? I think it's… me getting used to having things to worry about?" She gave a little shrug that translated poorly with the way she was half curled around him. "It's sort of out of control sometimes, and I know there's things I worry about that don't even make sense…" Her grip on his shirt slipped away and instead she pressed her hand flat there. "Is that usual? Do you have to deal with stuff like that?"
Eddie’s brow quirked, eyes going a little wider with interest (and maybe concern). “I do, but there’s ways to deal with it. Not get rid of the worry, of course, nothing could be that easy.” He gently put his hand over hers as it rested on his chest and then he reached to touch her face. “If it gets too much, if it gets to be where you can’t think of anything else, we could go for a walk. We could go find a pinball arcade. I could-” Eyebrow waggle “give you sweet kisses. Anything like that. You know?” His thumb rubbed her cheek and the worry was still there, mixing with affection for her.
She nodded in return, knowing that there were plenty of people that dealt with worry. Even big worries that seemed like they would overwhelm everything else. Hers weren't like that very much. For her, it was more of a quantity issue. But she was glad to have Eddie, who knew at least a little of what that could be like. A different person might tell her that it was all in her head, or that she just needed to get past it. And she was trying her best to do just that, but it wasn't a perfect thing.
And she'd already tried what she'd probably refer to as diversion tactics. She'd go down into the shop and unpack some more boxes, make up a grocery list, even clean the bathroom. Again, not perfect, but it did often help at least a little. The eyebrow waggle and suggestion of "sweet kisses" made her smile a little and laugh softly. "That's always going to be one of your suggestions, isn't it?" She tipped her cheek toward his touch as she waited for his response.
Eddie smirked proudly. “It’s a very good suggestion with a pretty high success rate.” He said, nerdy voice in full force before he leaned forward to kiss her lips softly, sweetly to prove his point. The nervousness he used to have about showing her affection had faded away with time. He was still a little too aware of how many bases to run and how to maybe not go from 1st to 3rd in record time like most Gothamites, but he didn’t think that was such a bad thing. Doing things differently was good for him, which was why there wasn’t any heartache about moving to Marvel to live.
He kissed her again, lips pressing more demanding this time. A murmured, “You can talk about it, too. The worry. I know it’s not as fun as pinball or smooches.” He leaned back to look at her, fingers going through her black hair. “Talking things out with you is one of my favorite things. It’s not always pleasant, not at first. But, it makes me feel better.”
She couldn't keep the soft laughter away, not when Eddie smirked and said things like that. She kissed him back, light and sweet in return. And smiled when they parted again. "I think you might be overplaying it for selfish motives…" Though that didn't stop her from sinking into the next one as well, relaxing enough to go soft and open, catching carefully at his lower lip, and was reluctant to let him move away again. But she did, and got his fingers through her hair instead, the blue from the party still there beneath the top layers of black.
"I don't know if I'm ready to talk about some things yet. I know eventually I should. I will. Just not yet."
Eddie nodded when she told him that she wasn’t ready to talk about some things and found himself actually accepting it. He closed his eyes and searched for things he wasn’t ready to talk about yet. Maybe stuff about marriage, the very concept of it, but that was treading over old ground for him. He used to believe so much in titles, making things official and the ceremony of everything. Here they could have commitment and shared lives without working through the awkwardness of mine and yours. Eddie could say ours and feel like it was true.
“Okay.” He said softly after a moment and then pulled her into a cuddling sort of hug. “Then, I really only have one thing left to say. I’m glad you’re here.”
She watched as Eddie nodded, as he closed his eyes. Even with his eyes closed, she could still see the thoughts turning over in his head, and waited to see if he would say anything else about it.
She was almost surprised when he didn't, and moved gratefully and easily into the hug and shifted so that she could slip an arm around him, pulling herself even closer. "Thank you." It came as a whisper, and in response to him not pushing to make her talk about what was happening. Not yet. She would eventually, hopefully, and it wasn't that she was keeping things from him specifically. Just that it was so new and raw that she had to figure out how she felt about it first before she could even hope to tell someone else. Soon though, hopefully.
And then, as he so often did, he said something that made her smile. Enough that for just a bit, she could press her nose to the angle of his jaw with a careful rub. "I'm glad you're here." It was a repetition, but it didn't make it any less true.
Eddie smiled easily, turning to kiss the side of her head messily before pulling her close again. He loved the warmth of her snuggled up against him and that content feeling that started in his chest and spread across his body. A chuckle at her reflected confession and he buried his nose in that bruise colored hair. There was no funny quip back or an of course I’m here, no instead he simply relaxed and let himself believe, let himself know that she was here and this was real. This was the thing they had been fighting for. And the riddled man really believed it was worth it.