Gabriel's knees are always (skinned) wrote in rooms,
Re: Times Square: Ronan/Ben
[Those thirty minutes almost kill him. He spends the whole time hyper-aware of how Ben is fighting those instincts to touch, to reach out and take Ronan's hand like they normally would in the car. And he wants it, too. Has to close his eyes to keep from breaching the inches between them that might as well be miles.
He masters the art of silent crying in the span of that car ride, just heat under his skin and tears streaming over his cheeks without the hiccuping jump of harsh breathing. Fingers make a 'V' shape against his chin and upper lip as he stares out the window, blurry and unseeing. He's just trying to reel in the emotions enough so that Ben doesn't have to feel those, but it's taking all his focus and he's pretty sure it's not entirely working, anyway.
Once they pull in the driveway and park, Ronan waits. First he's not sure if he's even allowed to go in, if Ben wants him there or if he's just going to throw his stuff out on the lawn. Not that Ben would ever do that, but it's almost - almost like Ronan expects that? Or feels like that'd be what he deserves? So he waits, listening to the frightening quiet of Ben's mind as he moves through the house and lets the dog out into the back yard.
He waits until he can't stand it anymore, with the ache in his chest propelling him to undo his seatbelt and slide out of the passenger seat. He slips through the front door without a sound, then up the stairs and into their bathroom. His clothes get shed in a pile on the floor and he turns the water on, hotter than he can usually stand it, crying openly now under the spray. He knows that he's not going to rinse it away, but at least in here he doesn't have to see the look on Ben's face.]