Re: coffee: sam & neil
She'd never been satisfied with what he wanted out of life. Being content, being comfortable, they weren't enough, and he knew she meant well but Neil had always thought she just didn't understand. Happiness was relative. He was never going to be overjoyed by every aspect of his life, and he'd actually been doing pretty well before getting dragged back into the hotel and its insanity. He was happier than he'd been in a while, and he'd just accepted that he would probably never feel fulfilled, or completely satisfied. To him, it was normal. "No. I know how much you hate that word," he teased. "I'm better than I was, Sam. I'm on my own two feet. Me. I'm not doing what my father wants. I'm happier than I was before, if that helps." His brow furrowed when she said she'd scream, as he attempted to discern whether or not she was telling the truth. "You'll get us kicked out. Or someone will call the police. Or," he added, "someone will record it on their cell, and you'll be all over the Internet." Still no mention of being embarrassed.
He almost didn't want to meet her gaze. Part of him wanted to look away, to look down, but he made himself keep eye contact. "A couple of times, I sat in my car and debated going to a bar instead of a meeting," he admitted. "I chose the later. I keep choosing it." Back when she'd known him, he wouldn't even have considered A.A.; he was too hooked on booze, on the numbness of being drunk.
They were all valid points, why she didn't want to wear the bracelet, but he still believed her health trumped people's perceptions of her. "It's for your own safety," he pointed out. "But I'm glad you're not suicidal anymore." He paused. "Listen, if the meetings aren't enough, you can... always talk to me. I had a sponsor for a while. Sometimes, having someone one-on-one helped." Of course, he wasn't a professional. Not to mention the fact that he'd never had a problem with drugs, the only time he'd ever done anything (aside from experimenting in college) was... well, when he was with her and they were both fucked up. No, not healthy at all.
While he thought he should maybe jump to Mere'd defense, say she didn't think she was a victim or a saint, he said nothing. He wasn't convinced that a double date was a good idea, though maybe being in public would finally help their significant others see that there was no need to worry. They were all adults. "She does make me happy," he said, finally. "It might be good for them to see that there's nothing going on, though." As for her feeling included, well, that couldn't hurt either. He shifted a little at the feel of her toes against his thigh, but that was all. "Okay. We'll try it."