Re: Marvel: Cris & Sam
Chair and door made her wince, but she didn't drag her feet when he pushed that hand against the small of her back to lead her out. She was going, and the only lag that happened was because of the crack-crash, slow limbs and the opposite of that too-high exhilaration that came from smoke in a pipe. Head down, and she didn't look at anyone, and she didn't meet anyone's gaze. She knew how she looked, and she knew what people would think, and she realized it more on the way out of the precinct than she had on the way in. She was more embarrassed for him than for herself, and this was the reason she couldn't be part of his daily life until she cleaned up or something, yeah? Shit like this, because she was what she was, but she didn't want it to reflect on him, on his kid, and even on Lou.
The sun made her squint, and her head throbbed even worse. It was like her fucking temples were going to explode, and she couldn't see. Squint, and the dilation that remained in her pupils bothered her now, high gone, and she squinted her eyes nearly shut as they walked.
She didn't pull away when he put his arm around her shoulders. And she knew his anger died fast. She knew he bounced back, because they'd done this shit before, yeah? She wasn't good at that. She didn't bounce, and she was still hurt and fucked and everything else, even as he left his fury behind. It was a roller coaster, and she was learning that she kind of fucking sucked at riding them.
"Hospital is ok," she repeated. She didn't think he'd want to hear her say she didn't care. But she didn't care where she went. She'd nearly walked herself into traffic an hour earlier, and there was still crack in her system, and she really just didn't fucking care where she went. She had no fucking clue if they'd just dry her out, or if they'd lock her up, or what the fuck they'd do. But she didn't care.