Roger smiled in his sleep, comforted by Adrian’s soft sweet voice and what he thought was Bia’s warmth at his back. He dreamed about the times the four of them went running… Bia and Roger hopping about… playing… acting silly, while Zelus and Adrian looked on… wry superior smiles on both their faces.
"...fall in love with Roger … herd Roger…”
He was warm and loved, so loved, so deliriously happy in his life with Adrian. He lived for Adrian’s smile, breathed to hear Adrian’s voice. His heart beat so that he could hold Adrian in his arms once more.
"...with Roger … Roger's territory…”
It was the fifth mention of his name… in that beloved voice, that finally drew Roger from his dreams. He realized that it wasn’t Bia at his back… they weren’t in the Lammas Park Guest House… and that Adrian said things aloud that Roger had never heard before. He knew what happened… they’d just never talked about it, it was too painful. Roger was about to quip some smart remark about how Cormac wasn’t the only one who wouldn’t let anyone in the garden, since Roger didn’t want Adrian or anyone else messing about with his herbs and potions ingredients; but the pain in his partner’s voice made him remain still and silent.
Roger listened in growing horror as Adrian revealed his pain. He knew it was a painful time for both of them, but he didn’t know that Adrian still carried around that pain… and the fear that his father still might …. do something.
“…all three of you. Silly sods. I surround myself with silliness," Adrian said.
Roger smiled and rolled over. He reached over a sleeping Cliodhna to stroke Adrian’s thigh.
“I love you.”
Roger tried to put the depth of his feelings, his love, his care, his adoration into his eyes as he looked into Adrian's sorrowful ones.