Who: Ed Zeddmore & Harry Spengler, Professional Ghost-Hunters Extraordinaire What: A banshee hunt. Where: Northern California wilds. When: TBD.
|E|: "A banshee!" Ed beamed. "Can you believe it? We're going to be like the next Scooby gang. Only sexy."
|H|: "A banshee? The screaming ghost thing?" Harry was standing/crouching in the trailer, attempting to put on his jacket and not knock over one of the dragon figurines. "Are you sure? We got protection? Against the banshee!" He hastily added.
|E|: Ed rolled his eyes. "Yeah, it's some kind of crazy screaming ghost chick." He dug into the space under one of the trailer's fold out seats. "So this is our protection." He pulled out a pair of fuzzy pink earmuffs and handed them to Harry. "There you go, partner." He slid a sleek gray pair onto his own head.
|H|: "Oohhh." He nearly bumped his head on one of the shelves when he saw the muffs. "What the hell?!" He gave Ed a look. "I'm not wearing that and why do you get the better ones?" he whined.
|E|: Ed tapped his right muff. "Can't hear you. Now stop being stupid about the stupid earmuffs. We don't have time to get more equipment. Focus! Where's the camera?" He turned around and caught sight of Harry's look at the pink muffs. He made a snorfle sound.
|H|: He glared before shoving the stupid fuzzy things over his head. "I've got the camera," handing it over. He grabbed the EMF reader before thinking he heard Ed speak. "What?" Harry loudly yelled.
|E|: "You look like a gay eskimo," Ed said low but clear, carefully. "Nothing!" he shouted. Then he gave Harry an enthusiastic thumbs up. "You could be a mutant easter bunny." Ed stifled a giggle and tested his camcorder, sweeping it from side to side before focusing in on Harry and pretending to adjust things while taking full color stills. Lair.com fans were going to love this at least as much as the banshee, and they weren't even out the door yet!
|H|: Fortunately for Ed, Harry couldn't hear too well, otherwise he'd be in for a world of hurt. Well, as much 'hurt' as someone like Harry could administer. Offering a weak smile at Ed (and wishing they were a bit toked so he could feel more confident about this), Harry opened the door to let him out since he had his hands full.
|E|: The campsite was only a mile from the hiking trail that boasted 'screaming ghost' stories, but it seemed a lot closer on paper. The earmuffs made Ed's ears sweat and he was puffing under the weight of his video gear by the time they neared Connor Creek Bed.
|H|: Harry wasn't puffing nearly as bad, considering that to him, the natural runner, it was only a mile. Holding onto the slightly nicer mike (the one Harry saved up for as a present) he was required to stay close to Ed to avoid disconnecting it. Once they got near, Harry started to sneak and turned on the EMF transmitter. Nothing... yet.
|E|: For his part, Ed was enjoying the hell out of Harry's fortuitous deafness, totally oblivious of the mike hovering just over his head. "Looks like you've got neon puffballs growing out of your head," he commented quietly to Harry, trying not to grin.
"What?" Harry yelled, lifting a muff.
"I said, I think it's just up ahead. And don't yell! We're supposed to be in stealth mode, genius!"
Snapping the 'puffball' back over his ear, Harry mouthed 'okay' to Ed before turning back and freezing in place. There right in front of them was some sort of floating... lady thing, only much much scarier. On top of the floating, she was sort of see-through and kind of glowing with his free hand, Harry silently waved madly to Ed, gesturing for him to point the camera where it belonged.
|E|: The spectre hadn't noticed them yet; she was emaciated, with hungry empty eyes and pointed teeth they could see through her lips. Ed fumbled with his camera. The banshee had already shattered the eardrums of two whole families of campers and one hiker.
Crouching, Ed didn't realize he was muttering a mantra to keep himself calm. "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering! Fear leads to anger, anger leads to-" The banshee drifted through an oak and then turned slowly to face the small copse Ed and Harry were crouched in.
|H|: Oh Sweet Obi-Wan. It--she--it was looking at them. She spotted them! Harry only had two thoughts on his mind now: 'She's gonna kill us!' and 'Is Ed getting this on camera?' The banshee, not thrilled with this new intrusion, showed her displeasure the best way she knew how: by shrieking.
At the horrifying sight of the crazy ghost lady, Harry screamed. Then turned to look at Ed, who was also screaming. They screamed. She screamed. Everyone was screaming.
|E|: Ed froze in place, completely oblivious to the high keening he and Harry were making. The banshee's transparent skin stretched long as her jaw extended and her volume hit a pitch that perfectly divided the two hunters' panicked wailing. The banshee clutched at her ears and wailed back. They were so loud! She wavered back and forth in the air in agony.
Harry's voice gave out and fumbled at Ed's jacket, clutching at the fabric for purchase before he gave a yank. "RUN!"
Ed stumbled and snapped out of his daze.
Recovering, the banshee gained height and swooped down at them, rotting maw gaping. Harry and Ed screamed again in sheer terror before crashing back through the woods.
|H|: The two of them ran as fast as possible; Ed in front, Harry right behind pushing his partner forward to the safety of the trailer. Opening the door, he shoved Ed inside before slamming it shut behind him. Like the brave men they are, they hit the floor and covered their ears (a moot point since hello, ear muffs).
About fifteen or so minutes later, Harry hesitantly lifted one muff of his ear, hearing nothing but blissful silence. Sliding the damned pink things off, he scooted over to hiding Ed and tapped on his shoulder.
|E|: His streamlined gray earmuffs long since dislodged in flight, Ed had his hands clamped firmly over his ears and his head under a pillow. When Harry tapped him, the portly young man gave a raspy high-pitched shriek and flailed upright. "HARRY!" he gasped. "Don't DO that. You scared the bejeezus out of me!"
|H|: Upon Ed screaming ever so manly (not to mention the virile flail), Harry jumped backwards with the grace of a water buffalo. "Sorry!" and he meant it. "I think she's gone." Just to be sure, he peeped over the sill of the window. "Nothing." Whew.
|E|: Ed was still feeling a little shaky, so he put his head between his knees and tried not to throw up. "Did we get it on camera?" he asked weakly.
|H|: "I think so," Harry affirmed, patting poor Ed on the back comfortingly. Reaching for the camera, he grabbed the aux cable and began setting up the TV. "Let's check out the footage." Ed nodded in agreement as Harry pressed 'play.'
"You look like a gay eskimo," the TV proclaimed at fuzzy pink ear-muffed video!Harry. Distinctly in Ed's voice, the mike capturing what the muffs missed. Harry, hardly amused, turned his head to give Ed a look of annoyance. "...a mutant easter bunny."
|E|: Ed pressed both lips together and attempted to look as innocent as possible. When that didn't last under Harry's accusatory stare, he gave his partner a sheepish look. He reached past Harry for the remote. "Let's, uh, just fast forward to the--" ("Neon puffballs growing out of your head!") "...good stuff. Ahem." He clicked the remote, then clicked it again. Immediately their metallic trailer vibrated with the triple screams of Ed, Harry and the banshee.
Ed fell out of his chair and fumbled with the remote.
|H|: The jerk said things about the earmuffs! After saying all that stuff about how these were the only two he could get and...stuff. He was beginning to wonder if Ed only bought those damn things to make fun of poor Harry with. They probably weren't even out of any earmuffs, the liar. Harry wanted to demand an apology from Ed, considering that's the nice thing to do when you say mean things.
However when the chorus of screams boomed through the TV, Harry joined Ed on the floor, twitching at the horrific noises before yanking the remote from Ed and smacking the tv to "mute." Really, that was the better idea anyways. Now they could see if they got some awesome footage for Hellhound Lair.