[03:12] lovedlea: "I don't see how leaving is going to make any of this better, but it's your choice, Cas." [03:17] minutemarch: "So what do you think will?" [03:19] lovedlea: "I don't know. You haven't even talked to us about it. You just avoided it. And yes, I'm a hypocrite, but I don't see how leaving is going to help. All the problems are still going to be here when you come back. What if it doesn't help at all? What if you feel better when you're away but you come back and you're miserable again?" [03:20] minutemarch: "If I can't make this better I can't stay and if I can't stay... Anna... I keep thinking about them. The stuff." [03:22] lovedlea: "Why do you think leaving is going to make it better?" [03:22] minutemarch: "Why didn't you fight me just now?" [03:24] lovedlea: "Cas, I don't know what to say. I don't know how to deal with this without pissing everyone off. What do you want me to say here? How am I supposed to react?" [03:26] minutemarch: "Honestly and you don't need my input for that." [03:28] lovedlea: "I don't want you to go. I think it's a terrible idea and counterproductive. You can't just run away from your problems. You didn't let me do it and I got better - of course that doesn't seem to make much difference now because now you're worse." [03:31] minutemarch: "Then I need something else 'cause I don't feel at home here. I don't... I don't trust things with you." It was out. All the worry of the last few months and he'd finally realised what the key was. [03:33] lovedlea: "I don't know what else to do, Cas. I've been here and I've been mostly okay for months. I get that it's different with you than with Dean and Jo but... I don't know what else you want from me. I don't see how you leaving is any better than worrying about me leaving. It doesn't solve anything." [03:39] minutemarch: "You're... different. Your fire... I miss it Anna. You were a soldier. You were... far stronger than me and I don't mean your Grace." [03:41] lovedlea: "I was also sick. For a long time. And I've been getting better." [03:43] minutemarch: "I know. But maybe I'm not better. Maybe." [03:43] minutemarch: "I don't know. I just know this is way harder than it was. It... used to make me stronger. No it drains me." [03:45] lovedlea: "And the conversation has gone in a complete circle with no real movement. Cas, I don't know what you want. What I'm hearing is that you're frustrated because I'm different than I was and you want to go away." [03:46] minutemarch: "I don't want to go! I want to... need to... get back to where I was." [03:47] lovedlea: "So then let's talk about why you're not and what you need to get there." [03:47] lovedlea: "What are you running away from by leaving?" [03:48] minutemarch: "It's too much." [03:48] lovedlea: "What is?" [03:51] minutemarch: ""I feel like all we have are issues and problems." [03:53] lovedlea: "You don't see any of the good?" [04:03] minutemarch: "Yeah. But it's... getting overshadowed." [04:04] lovedlea: "By what specifically?" [04:04] minutemarch: "Problems." [04:06] lovedlea: "Cas, if you can't be specific, we can't work toward solutions." [04:07] minutemarch: "It feels like all we do is worry about you or fix your weird ass problems," he snapped without meaning too. He dropped his eyes, looked shamed. [04:08] lovedlea: Anna nodded. She didn't say anything. She wasn't sure there was anything she could say that wouldn't make this worse. Although at this point she was pretty sure there wasn't really a worse. [04:10] minutemarch: "Maybe it was just the timing but... I feel like they have my back. I feel... like you lean on my but I'm scared to lean on you." [04:10] minutemarch: me* [04:11] lovedlea: "You don't try." [04:12] minutemarch: "Would you if you were me?" [04:13] lovedlea: "Clearly I would." [04:15] minutemarch: "I can't lean on you." [04:15] lovedlea: "You've never even tried." [04:18] minutemarch: "How can I whenh you're so... you were just gonna let me go without a fight. Things get bad and you do the same thing I do." [04:20] lovedlea: "Do you really think I want you to go? I'm trying to get you to talk to me and fix this."