"It wasn't like I didn't want too." It was all she could say. Even that came out as a whisper. Afraid if she spoke any louder than that, that her voice would crack, and all her reserve, all her strength would be gone. She'd just... Break down, or... leave. And the sick part... The really sick part was that for a few minutes she'd hoped. She'd hoped that she had been. Not because she wanted to sneak it in there. Not because she even wanted one so soon... Maybe it comes with every woman, when they have that 'well gee I might be' moments.
She simply leaned against him. Focusing on breathing, focusing on keeping herself together. She didn't deserve to cry. It was her own fault. You didn't cry when it was your own fault. You took what you deserved. Nothing less.