Joanna Beth Harvelle (harvelle) wrote in ridgewayresort, @ 2011-05-08 23:36:00 |
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Entry tags: | anna milton, jo harvelle |
Who: Jo Harvelle & Anna Milton
When: Backdated a couple days
Where: An empty guest room in the hotel
Rating: Low
Status: Complete, log
Black PaIadin 11:43 am
Jo was sitting on a bed in the guest room, staring out the window as she waited for Anna, trying to figure out what she was going to say. She hadn't been lying about being tired of being angry...and just tired in general.
lovedlea 11:48 am
Anna dropped off Aiden with the boys and headed tot he guest rooms. She found Jo pretty easily, knocking before pushing the door open. She didn't feel much different than Jo, she was just more focused on Aiden. But this needed worked out. Badly. "Hey."
Black PaIadin 11:52 am
The blonde glanced over at her and nodded. "Hey. Thanks for coming."
lovedlea 11:58 am
Anna sat down on the edge of the bed. "Yeah. We need to fix this."
Black PaIadin 12:00 pm
She shifted a little so she was facing her, pushing a few strands of hair back from her face. "Yeah...except now I'm not really sure what to say. I meant what I said before, about not wanting to fight anymore."
lovedlea 12:02 pm
"I don't want to fight anymore either, Jo. But it always explodes. I keep trying and we keep fighting."
Black PaIadin 12:06 pm
"I know...when one of us is trying, the other isn't." She sighed quietly and closed her eyes for a moment, then reopened them to look at Anna. "How's he.....Aiden?" It was the first time she'd actually used the baby's name.
lovedlea 12:11 pm
"He's good. Healthy. Quiet. Hungry all the time." Anna watched him and watched him all the time. She never got tired of watching him doing nothing.
Black PaIadin 12:17 pm
"That's good." Her eyes fell again. "So....we should stop fighting."
lovedlea 12:23 pm
Anna gave a little grin. "Yeah, we should stop fighting. We need to... figure out why. We can't stop until we know why."
Black PaIadin 12:24 pm
"I...I just. I don't like that you're involved with..him. A demon. You're an angel."
lovedlea 12:25 pm
"He's good to me, Jo. He loves me."
Black PaIadin 12:27 pm
"How can he? I don't understand how a demon can do that. I'm sorry....I want to understand, though."
lovedlea 12:29 pm
"I don't know. He doesn't understand it anymore than I do. And it frustrates him to no end... which is kind of amusing. But he does. He's an ass, but he's good to me, Jo. It's not like I ever meant for this to happen. He was just... a distraction at first."
Black PaIadin 12:29 pm
"Is he? Really? For a while it seemed like you were scared of him."
lovedlea 12:30 pm
"I was pissed at him. There's a difference."
Black PaIadin 12:30 pm
"Anna....what would Aiden have been if Cas hadn't made that wish?"
lovedlea 12:31 pm
"Doesn't matter."
Black PaIadin 12:31 pm
"Is Aiden safe around him?"
lovedlea 12:33 pm
"He's afraid to touch him, afraid Aiden's too small and he'll hurt him. But the way he looks at Aiden is... he's safe. Really safe."
Black PaIadin 12:34 pm
"...Okay, then."
lovedlea 12:34 pm
"Jo... this started before there was ever even anything between me and Crowley."
Black PaIadin 12:35 pm
"...Then what do you think caused it?"
lovedlea 10:02 pm
"I don't know what caused it, Jo. I thought it was me, I'm not exactly mentally stable sometimes. But I apologized again and again and it didn't do a damn bit of good. I don't know what you want from me, Jo."
Black PaIadin 10:04 pm
"I...I don't know. It was just...so hard to talk to you, when things were...changing, I guess, for me, Dean, and Cas. I knew you had slept with them too, and there was the time we had together, and things just felt so awkward that when you pushed me away...it was just easier to stay away, even when you apologized."
lovedlea 10:06 pm
"I wanted them to change for you, Jo. I wasn't pushing you away because I didn't want you. I wanted you to have someone who deserved you." She paused and shook her head. "And I never slept with Cas."
Black PaIadin 10:07 pm
"It felt like you didn't. Everything happened so fast after we...." She trailed off, then shook her head. "What made you think you didn't deserve me?"
lovedlea 10:09 pm
Anna wasn't about to answer that question. She had no desire for that conversation. "Is that what this is about, Jo? The fact that we slept together and I pushed you away?"
Black PaIadin 10:10 pm
"I...maybe. I don't know. You pushed me away when I was hurting, pushed me right into their arms. Though now, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. So I guess I should thank you."
lovedlea 10:11 pm
"You're happy. You don't need me. That was... the plan... kind of."
Black PaIadin 10:11 pm
"What plan?"
lovedlea 10:12 pm
"Not plan-plan. Just thought you'd be better off without me. And look, you are. Wasn't anything to do with you, Jo. If that's why you're upset, there's no reason for it."
Black PaIadin 10:15 pm
"You had no right to decide that, to manipulate me that way. You should've let me make my own decisions."
lovedlea 10:16 pm
"I didn't want you to end up hurt."
Black PaIadin 10:17 pm
"So you hurt me instead."
lovedlea 10:17 pm
"Yeah, well, it wasn't a perfect plan."
Black PaIadin 10:18 pm
Let's out a half laugh, looking at her, then away. "...So we'll stop fighting now?"
lovedlea 10:19 pm
"I want to. I'm tired of you being angry with me." Anna sighed, dropping her gaze. "It's miserable feeling like this."
Black PaIadin 10:20 pm
"And I'm tired of being angry..." she trailed off, looking over at Anna, then abruptly leaned over and hugged her, tightly.
lovedlea 10:23 pm
Anna bit her lip, doing the best she could to keep from crying. She was stiff for a minute, fighting it if only for her own emotional stability. And then she weakened, wrapping her arms around Jo and pressing her face into Jo's shoulder, fingers clenching at the blonde's shirt a little. "I'm tired of you being angry."
Black PaIadin 10:26 pm
She relaxed, slowly, when Anna returned the hug. Jo wouldn't have been able to take the rejection again, not now, not after that talk. Her arms tightened a little more as she buried her face against Anna's hair. "I don't want to be. Not anymore."
lovedlea 10:28 pm
"I never meant to reject you, Jo. I'd never want to reject you. You or Dean. I just..." A terrible person. Definitely not what she wanted to say to Jo. "You're better off without me."
Black PaIadin 10:30 pm
Jo's eyes closed at the mention of Dean, because, yes, there was still a little bit of residual jealousy. "You're not allowed to decide that, not anymore, okay?" Opening her eyes, she lifted her head and pulled back slightly so she could meet Anna's, one hand cupping her cheek. "That's what friends are for."
lovedlea 10:33 pm
Anna cupped her hand over Jo's and closed her eyes, pressing her cheek into the blonde's hand. She sighed, trying not to answer that question.
Black PaIadin 10:33 pm
"I still want you in my life, Anna."
lovedlea 10:34 pm
"You sure about that?"
Black PaIadin 10:34 pm
"Positive." She smiled a little, her lips quirking in a tiny half smile. "Anyway, how else am I gonna get to spoil that damn cute kid, unless we're friends?"
lovedlea 10:35 pm
"Yeah. I suppose."
Black PaIadin 10:36 pm
"That was a joke, you know."
lovedlea 10:36 pm
"You've been taking comedy lessons from Cas, I see."
Black PaIadin 10:36 pm
"Been around him too long, I guess."
lovedlea 10:37 pm
"Yeah. He's got a terrible sense of humor. And seems to think he's funny."
Black PaIadin 10:37 pm
"He gets it from Dean. It's a vicious cycle."
lovedlea 10:38 pm
"Dean's humor is at least dry humor."
Black PaIadin 10:39 pm
"Yeah, something like that." Jo leaned in and kissed Anna's other cheek lightly. "So we're okay now, right?"
lovedlea 10:40 pm
Anna turned her face a bit, trying not to lean into Jo's kiss as well. "Yeah. I hope so."
Black PaIadin 10:40 pm
"Good." She gave her another hug, breathing a small sigh, mainly of relief.
lovedlea 10:41 pm
"You okay now? You feel better?"
Black PaIadin 10:41 pm
Jo nodded. "Yeah. You?"
lovedlea 10:44 pm
"I'm good." It was okay. It was better. Maybe Jo wouldn't be angry with her anymore now. Then again, Anna tended to piss people off pretty easily.
Black PaIadin 10:45 pm
"I guess you probably want to get back to Aiden, huh?"
lovedlea 10:46 pm
"No hurry. Cas likes spending time with him."
Black PaIadin 10:47 pm
She nodded a little, just leaning somewhat into Anna. "....What's it like? Being a mom."
lovedlea 10:48 pm
"Exhausting and exhilarating." Just exhausting enough to make her need sleep, but not enough to keep her from dreaming.
Black PaIadin 10:50 pm
"I never said congratulations. I'm saying it now."
lovedlea 10:51 pm
"Thanks." Anna paused, glancing away for a minute. "You didn't look to happy about him the other day."
Black PaIadin 11:01 pm
"I...I just. I wondered what it was like. I'll probably never have kids, so."
lovedlea 11:02 pm
"It'll happen eventually."
Black PaIadin 11:03 pm
"Maybe. I don't know."
lovedlea 11:05 pm
"I didn't even know you wanted one."
Black PaIadin 11:08 pm
"I don't know that I do. Except...I guess. My mom would've wanted grandkids. So I always thought that maybe someday....then I died. And now I'm here. And I could be sent back at...any time. So maybe it's better to not have them. They don't want kids."
lovedlea 11:09 pm
"Eventually they will."
Black PaIadin 11:13 pm
"They seem pretty adamant. Anyway, all three of us are really too fucked up for kids."
lovedlea 11:14 pm
"For now. Don't give up hope."
Black PaIadin 11:17 pm
Jo shrugged, looking away. "Maybe."