ellana lavellan (ofandraste) wrote in revoltic, @ 2018-05-16 17:40:00 |
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Entry tags: | !: log, -player: tiny, dragon age: ellana lavellan, Ӡ -player: charlie, Ӡ dragon age: marian hawke |
Who: Ellana Lavellan and Marian Hawke
What: What's bourbon?
Where: The Inquisitor's Apartment
When: Tuesday (May the 15th), Night
Rating: PG-13 (for uh... mentions of sexual relations, possibly with Elven dieties, its fine.)
Status: Log, complete.
Notes: There is mention of a lot of canonical Dragon Age stuff, but there's mostly just drinking and talk of Varric's crap depictions of sex.
After catching up with Fenris, Anders, and her cousin she knew she should also catch up with the Inquisitor. They were...sort of friends in a weird way. But people couldn’t be chucked into the actual Fade together and not come out with a decent understanding and appreciation of one another. They hadn’t spend a lot of time together, probably because Ellena’s councillors had probably all unanimously agreed to keep the champion far away from their Inquisitor in case ideas of punching Arishok’s was shared, but that could easily be fixed now. And even better, they all lived basically right next to each other. Which made it all easier. Hawke was happy, seeing her family happy tended to do that, when she knocked on Ellena’s door. “Oi, fellow we didn’t doom the world by traversing physically into the Fade. Open up.” Ellana was bored, actually it was really getting to her. Frankly, she probably hadn’t drank as much wine in the last three years a she had in the last week. She felt pretty damn useless in the weirdest way (it wasn’t as if she didn’t have skills, just not ones she knew how to apply here which felt... dangerous) and she felt suffocated by how many people were always around. Skyhold and Haven were the biggest settlements, cities - whatever you wanted to call them - that she’d ever lived in and an overpopulated New York City threatened to overwhelm a woman who wasn’t used to feeling whelm’d at all. The knock on her door instantly perked her up, it wasn’t like it was hard to recognize Hawke’s voice and, well - they weren’t overrun with others who even knew what the Fade was (though unironically she supposed, the group that was here? Had more connections to it and its travesties than your average group of five). Getting up off of her couch, where she’d been perched looking out the window over the city - the height didn’t bother her at all, if anything it reminded her of Skyhold - she wander over to the door, opening it up with a little smirk, “You make house calls now, Champion?” She said, the smirk evident in her tone as she motioned inside. Honestly, she was glad to see Hawke. She wasn’t quite as close to the other woman as she was say… Cassandra, Cullen, or Josie - but she definitely had an affinity for her that one couldn’t avoid with what they’d been through. Only aided by the fact that Ellana, rather obviously, like surrounding herself with other strong women. She grinned at Ellana and wondered, not for the first time, how Merrill would react to her. The likely case was that Merrill would develop a hero complex, seeing how Ellena had found her way to the top of one of the most influential organizations in their generation. And Hawke herself liked Ellana. She had a certain no nonsense attitude. And they shared similarities. Two people who’d found themselves having to protect a bunch of people, even though her own influence had only extended to Kirkwall. She still wasn’t sure how Ellana had come out of it with her sanity somewhat intact. “For the grand Inquisitor?” She asked as she sketched a bow, “‘course!” She was smirking as she rose. “No figure that catching up would be nice. You’re part of the team now,” she added with a shrug, “making sure you’re alright is part of that.” She was sure Ellena got checking up on people you fought and hung out with. “Can I come in?” Moving to the side of the door so Hawke could enter she gave a little half bow and motioned the other woman inside, “Ohhh, part of the team…” She teased as she ushered Hawke in. Ellana had done a little customizing of the place, she’d picked up a few books to throw on shelves about Earth history and mythology so she could make her way through them over time. Honestly, she was settling in nicely beyond how crowded everything felt. It was just the sheer amount of people - it was probably why she’d found the book store so comforting. Apparently people didn’t do a whole lot with paper any more, but those sort of niche little stores flourished for the free spacers, Neo-Amish (not that she had idea what the shit that meant, but she’d pretended she did), and some richer residents and - ironically - the poor as well. The later was something she could relate too more readily - how much the rich often idolized things that poor were forced to use as if it was some quaint little choice. It didn’t matter, however, as the Inquisitor had been happy with her purchase. Actually, she’d pulled out a volume on world wars that she thought might be a little more up her alley and had been ready to settle in with it and whatever bourbon was - because she’d decided that she was going to try all these new sorts of alcohol she could get here and the amber of the bourbon just seemed most familiar. Hawke was a welcomed change in plans however and she shut the door as soon as the darker haired woman was inside. “Get comfy in my humble little abode that looks exactly like your’s!” She joked, not really understanding how the hell people could survive with everything being so similar. Hawke sort of understood the uniformity. Back in Kirkwall the poorer districts had all looked the same, at least the outside of them had. It made it easy to build she figured, or it being a former slaver stronghold the less personality it had the better. She could never put her finger on what exactly it had been. Here, she figured it was ease. “Less animals though.” She’d have brought Dane but he was busy fussing over the new arrivals. She’d bring him by another time. She glanced around as she went in and looked curiously at the books, even in a different world she was still expecting Varric’s fucking book, but knowing how important they could be she didn’t pick them up. And it would be rude. She did note the bottle though, “oh what’s this?” It looked curious, “and mostly the whole part of the team thing is because we’re book friends.” Varric had written he’d wrote a book about the Inquisitor. She had to wonder about it. “So I’m sorry for that. Did he make your chest as equally an obvious fabrication as he did with my sister? Because for someone who claims he’s not into humans I have to wonder.” She motioned to a chair, “you mind?” “Well, shit.” Ellana half huffed out as she trailed behind Hawke, she had no problem letting the other woman wander - it wasn’t like she’d actually had a personal life for awhile now. Or, well, she was shocked she’d managed to keep any part of her life person - but that was honestly more someone else’s doing than her own. But the book notion threw her off a bit, “Really? A book?” She feigned a groan, “As long as its not smutty. I don’t think the Inquisition could handle Varric running around peddling smutty lies about who or what I got up to doing at night.” She had always suspected Leliana knew, obviously, and she had kinda figured Varric might be the nosey asshole sort to guess it right - especially with her overly stoic reaction after he just left. But honestly, Varric could stumble upon it as a good ‘lie’ and probably stumble upon half the truth there anyway and Ellana would have been left just as red in the face. Hopefully he stuck to the archmagister jack ass bullshit and didn’t intend on getting her back for having him write another volume of actual smut basically just for Cassandra… The only-mostly Dalish woman cleared her throat to drag herself out of her thoughts as her friend pondered the bottle, “Apparently its called bourbon. I’ve decided if i can drink all the ales in Thedas I can try all the types of liquor on Earth.” That bright sort of snark Ellana was known for was right out there in the open, she was good at that at least. No matter what lurked in the back of her mind - she did not get down. “Make yourself at home.” She said - motioning towards the chair as she moved to grab two glasses, making her way back over to Hawke she plopped down on the edge of the couch closer to the other woman and put the two glasses down on the table. She’d been told two or three cubes of ice was the way to drink it straight but, honestly, Ellana wasn’t used to how cold drinks were yet. And, even more honestly? She still had fuck all idea how she felt about the ice cubes that appeared as if magic in the freezer. Hawke got not really having much of a personal life, but probably not on the same scale. She’d just had people in Kirkwall that had known her by name, and while they’d pried it was probably not the same as having an entire castle in your business. So she made sure to keep to herself, ask instead of presume. It wasn’t much in the end, but it was something. She gave an amused snort as she sat down, “Varric can’t do anything without adding risque nonsense. If you’ve ever read Tale you understand.” She rolled her eyes, “get drunk once and gush about your boyfriend and suddenly it’s in a book. What he did put in was the very watered down version because he actually had the sense to ask me about it. I hadn’t told him everything but he improvised from what I didn’t tell him. I told him if he didn’t make it a whole lot less I’d break Bianca. That got him on board. So I haven’t read yours yet. I only know it exists, because Varric’s a dink like that. So smut will be there. ‘S’not a good story without Romance, Hawke’.” She did a fairly good impression of her friend. “Again, for someone who claims he isn’t into humans, he sure does write about sex a whole hell of a lot. Not even good sex either.” She didn’t know what was worse. That her love life was forever immortalized, or that it was done badly. “Hey no judgements here because...well I heard those are your job anyway. Don’t want to intrude,” she gave with a grin. She could be just as snarky really. She took a glass and poured some of it for herself and Ellana before picking it up and holding it out in a toast. “To walking into the Fade physically and not bringing back a bloody Blight.” It was a good enough reason for a toast really. Ellana groaned, it was a clearly more realistic than the other. More genuine, though Varric's pseudo-lechery had opened a door to something she wasn’t sure if she should actually have been opening the proverbial jar of worms on because… she had a feeling Hawke with information on who that bit of smut might involve was way more dangerous than any guessing Varric could do that bloody hopefully no one would believe anyway. Holy fuck if he actually paired her up with Solas? Oh god she would lose it. Hopefully Varric had enough tact to pair her with Cullen and or Josie, at least she’d flirted a little with them too - even if it never felt like it had with Solas, not ended up like it had with him. Some weird mixture of love and ultimate betrayal. But she had fucked a psuedo-whatever-demi-whatever-god and well, she could rationally understand why that might be a great plot point to add in. So obviously, she had to pry. “Bad sex? Bad sex?” She sighed, picking up the glass - clinking it against Hawke’s she took down a gulp. Maybe a little too much but she’d had plenty of practice and she did like the syrupy, mapley quality to the liquor. She may have found a go-to while she found the good wine. Clearing her throat and leaning in she smirked, doing her best to put forth that effortlessly devil-may-care attitude forward, “And I might end up judging you if you don’t spill on any details. There is no fucking way, not a fucking chance that Varric didn’t tease you with some tid bits to rile you up. That’s basically his shit.” She chuckled softly, grinning at the other woman. “I know. I have to wonder if he’s just not aware of how non dwarves have sex or if he bases it on personal experience when he writes his sex scene’s. And I would...be so sad for him if it’s the latter. And would need an intervention. Bad sex is terrible for all.” she sipped from her own drink and tilted her head at it. That wasn’t all and out bad. Better then Fenris and his weird love of red wine. She laughed at the comment and shrugged. “Well I don’t want to end up in a cell or whatever. But I do offer the warning of: Varric” She cleared her throat, “Working title: this shit is weird. The sky churned like a roiling sea on a dark and stormy night, centered on a gaping hole that led to the ass-end of nowhere. A hole that spit up many things that day; comets, demons...and a whole lot of trouble.” She quoted from memory. Despite how not smart she made herself look she was actually fairly smart. She’d ran the household for her mother, and then after as well. She held up her free hand, “do not blame me. That’s all Varric. That’s all he gave me. That’s the last thing I got from him back in Weisshaupt.” Gently she nudged the other woman, “but back to bad, or good, sex any stories there? Varric mentioned you were eyeing your ambassador and Cullen.” She made a face at the last, “I mean if you’re into obnoxious holy then thou Cullen’s not all bad. Can’t get over ‘mages aren’t people’ though. Maybe fucking the stick out of him would actually do good. If so,” she leaned over to set a hand on Ellana’s arm, “thank you for taking one for the team.” There was a visible grimace on Ellana’s face, “Does he not have a fucking editor- scratch that, I know he does because we had this fucking mess where we had to taken down someone propagating work pretending to be Varric and it was a whole damn thing, like it was just… ugh, people are really dumb and uncreative.” Snorting amusedly she continued, “Its probably only bad sex because its written by a man who probably thinks describing how tits bounce walking down stairs deserves a whole page.” Admittedly, she hadn’t read the book out of pure fear. Fear it may encourage Varric. Fear that was apparently appropriately placed. “Well, shit was fucking weird.” She said with a chuckle, taking a smaller sip this time, “I mean I know you missed some of the crazy early stuff but - you know better than Varric. He wasn’t with us in the Fade after all, he has no fucking idea how weird it really got.” She’d never full told him about the future-that-almost-was either, she didn’t tell most people. No one needed to share the scars it left on her and Dorian, though she’d given glimpses to some. They just didn’t need more than that. Lifting a finger from her glass she motioned towards Hawke, “Don’t you let him besmirch Josie, I’m very protective of her. She’s smart, but she’s like a little cake and I’d prefer the best Ambassador I could ever hope for didn’t get dragged through some smut so Varric could say tits a few extra times.” Sighing softly, she continued, “And I swear to the damn Maker, you flirt with someone over chess one damn time!” Of course, that wasn’t all she’d gotten up to. But at least she could hope Varric really only considered Josie and Cullen options. Those would sting a lot less. Need a lot less explaining. “Trust me, he got better about mages. I don’t think Cullen would have gotten through the Samson thing if he hadn’t legitimately had a change of heart. Not that he’s say… as liberal as you or I or definitely not Solas - but he’s grown at least. I wouldn’t have kept him on other wise.” Clearly her throat softly again, she figured maybe she’d dodged the bullet, but she had to go and fucking mention him so maybe she hadn’t. Dumb woman as much as she was a smart one, sometimes. “I will admit that I don’t think anyone actually thinks I was going around bedding anyone. But thinking isn’t always reality, I’m sure Varric can at least write the romance better…” She took another small sip, “But if he dares to write it off that I have bad sex, he’ll be wishing to get lost in some taig.” She chuckled openly. "Varric has an editor?" She asked incredulously, "whatever he's paying that person, it isn't bloody enough. Clearly he doesn't listen. And don't tell me that I ran into so many blood mages in Kirkwall. So many. It's like the minute they got out of the Gallows, the minute they picked up a knife and said 'you know what, this is cool'. I tried talking to them, to the network of people getting them out. It's like pissing in the rain sometimes. It's a quick route to power, and well when you've had someone stepping on you your entire life you want vengeance. I just wish they hadn't proven Meredith's bloody point." She snorted at the comment, "and that would make sense. If he didn't harp on and on about how weird humans were all the bloody time." "Well, yes. Still. Shit title. Tale of the Champion is only somewhat better." She smirked, "good for him really. It was freaking weird." she paused a moment, "I haven't really said much about it. I don't know how to breach 'I almost stayed behind to die' to my family." She took a sip of the bourbon and looked into the glass. "If it wasn't for Stroud, think I might have." Ellana would, she felt, get it. Hawke's burdens had, at one point, become rather a lot. "Don't get me wrong. I'm happy to be here and I wouldn't do it again but," she shrugged. It explained a lot she felt. She grinned then, her mood passing like rain. “It’s funny how you think I have any control over him.” She chuckled and then shook her head. “Chess. I’m not even surprised. I don’t think that man has any idea on what fun actually is. He couldn’t even walk into a brothel without going all red.” She waved her hand. “I know. I did talk to him. After yelling for about a good hour. I bought him a drink.” It was misplaced anger really, but there’d been the templar who had helped her father too. Sometimes people just...changed. “He said sorry when we met, Cullen. For Kirkwall. Said he should have done something about Meredith sooner. That shows growth. I’m glad for it. He looked...better than when he was in Kirkwall. Got some colour back on his skin. And you said he’d gotten off the lyrium so,” again she shrugged. “But if I don’t harass him he’ll wonder who replaced me. Besides, he needs a bit of harassment. Otherwise he’ll go all rigid. I don’t not like him I didn’t like what he represented. For whatever it’s worth, I hope he’s happy. I’m still keeping myself between him and Anders though.” She gave a soft laugh then, “you were around Orlesians and you think they weren’t gossiping on who you were fucking? Please, they probably had running bets.” She paused, “and some of those were probably started by Varric. He needs a hobby. Point is if I got gossiped about in a city, you can make good bets people were gossiping about you in Skyhold, Ferelden, and Orlais. And honestly that’s why I made him give me the first draft. It’s better that way.” Ellana couldn’t help but chuckle, which felt nice. Honestly, back in Thedas - except for right after Corypheus was taking down and they had a lovely party - there hadn’t been a lot of sitting around just bonding with anyone and so that was definitely another thing she was appreciating about this place, this… opportunity. It felt like some weird semblance of normal that there was no way she could have gotten at home - for the reasons Hawke listed off and so many more. “Someone was actually trying to fucking plagiarize Varric, if you can believe it. Of all the crazy shit I dealt with, that might even top the Fade.” Of course that wasn’t true, but it was definitely on the top 10 list, maybe. At least of the… non-Fade related things she ended up handling. At least the goat smacking had only happened once… “Tale of the Champion would sell better - but This Shit Is Weird? Its not inaccurate…” She huffed again, sipping at her drink as she let out a soft breath, she probably should have stopped the conversation because Ellana was moderately afraid of where any admissions could go, but then again - she trusted Hawke and it wasn’t like it was any better to not talk about this shit. She allowed herself to smirk, “I’ve no doubt he still goes beat red - you compliment a man on his bird mantle once and apparently it just causes endless blushing.” Sighing, for dramatic effect, “I did not make any mistakes regarding Cullen.” Actually, she didn’t think he’d have been a mistake or anything, but she had a feeling that he would have been overprotective. Ellana didn’t do good with overprotective. But Cullen at least always meant well - even if she didn’t agree, she at least knew why he had what opinions. “He was a bit rough there a bit, but he really powered through not getting back on lyrium in the end - which I can’t give him enough credit for, other failings aside.” She almost thought she was clear of the whole rumours and sex thing, even though she was really bloody curious if Varric had even stabbed a guess in the right direction - which of course, aided by the start of a light buzz allowed herself to put her foot right in her mouth. “I highly doubt any of their bets were even moderately correct.” She snorted softly, swishing the little bit of amber liquid left around in her glass, “Orlesians don’t like to look at the obvious - they think everything is fucking convoluted and so they always guess the worst, most tawdry things. Though I bet I’d get a good fucking laugh out of what any bookies had on record.” As much was probably, frankly, true at least. That made her blink, "but why? Okay I get the appeal of his books. His crime series isn't actually too terrible if you ignore the various plot holes and it's not like I can't see why it gained traction but...again why. And why would he bother your resources over fixing it. He's got his own. He has ties to the bloody Carta for Andraste's sake, it's not like he can't figure it out in his own time." She shook her head and downed the rink before pouring another one. "You're right. Weirder than the Fade." Now she wanted to ask Varric about it. She'd seen his network in action in Kirkwall and knew it could withstand being moved to a new place. Why ask a pretty much nascent power that while it had certainly grown in power, had a bit better things to do than worry about a book being copied. "Not inaccurate doesn't mean it's not a shit title." she added with a wave of her hand before laughing at the image of Cullen blushing. "What the shit was up with that thing? Did he decide to follow the trend or something? I was tempted to steal it, because spite is a great motivator, but I figured it actually did get cold out there and I figured he actually needed it. But now I know. Now I can retaliate." It was probably a bit mean to pick on Cullen so much but one she figured no one else would and then he'd get complacent and even more dull, and two if she didn't she was fairly sure he'd think she'd gotten swapped with someone. She shrugged then, "didn't mean to imply it'd be a mistake. A bit of breaking Chantry habits and teaching what might actually be fun and good but mistake?" She shrugged, "I don't have many legs to stand on in judging mistakes. So many still think I made one with Anders." And she was bitter about that. People only saw Anders in the light the explosion had cast and while yes they'd had a lot of words about that and she'd nearly hit him for all of it, and it was a stain neither of them would wash off their souls any time soon they didn't see the whole picture. Hawke did. Justice crept more and more into Anders over the years, and she was convinced it was him who'd lit that fuse, not Anders. Anders wanted freedom. Justice just wanted chaos. And one day she'd get a way to get rid of the spirit. Anders didn't need to be burdened with a creature that couldn't understand shades of grey. “Just because they weren’t correct doesn’t mean they didn’t happen,” she added with as much wisdom as she could put in it. “Trust me according to the nobles at Kirkwall I was sleeping my way through half the city, which included the Viscount and his son. And the Arishok, at one point.” She took a drink at that. “Apparently being considered not viciously murdered the minute you step into their compound means you’re fucking. But then again, that’s practically a love letter in Qunari so they had somewhat of a point.” she grinned, “should’ve asked Varric and made a bet of your own and then swan you’re way through a meeting with whoever of your companions would have made you the most amount of gold. That’d showed them.” “To be fair it was the crime series, if I remember.” Honestly Ellana had only approved the whole thing out of friendship and amusement - it also didn't hurt to show the Inquisitions reach and loyalty to its major players by backing Varric in that way. Just another showing of the elf’s more practical side… though admittedly she probably would have done it for the amusement anyway. Ellana always liked to think they all deserved some amusement amongst the shit show - it was good for morale and she gave a shit about not only her troops’ morale, but that of her team - her friends. Laughing Ellana downed the last of her drink and started to pour herself more as she spoke, “ Well, shit, that's the fucking truth if I've ever heard it.” She liked Hawke, she was no bullshit in the same way that she was and she - well - she got things the men or even someone like Josie or Lelianna wouldn't get. Cassandra would get things. Solona might, though she want acquainted with her well enough to confirm that more than from whispers and what she knew…”Cut the shit, your boyfriend is adorable.” She chuckled out, she had no experience with relationships like that. It wasn't that hers hadn't had love - it did, past bad present - but she never expected public or outward affection that was anything but stolen moments. She'd known the emotional risks and took them anyway. Downing almost half her glass, she just bit the bullet, “Plus - I wager I could outdo you anyway. I'm fucking lucky the rumours stayed on… options two and three…” Ellana, ever cheeky wasn't lying there. “Those dumb fucking nobles might have spit roasted me if they got anywhere near the truth.” She snorted, it was forced. The statement, everything about her response was honest yet done in such a way to mask more than she could acknowledge. “Oh Makers hairy arse, why?” She asked in an exasperated tone. Surely there were better books to be plagiarizing. Surely there was better things to do, period, rather than copying a book and then doing it badly on top of everything else. But then again, fame had it’s own weirdness attached to it. For her, Varric was just the father figure she’d acquired over time. To some he was a famed writer, and to some there was no greater flattery then imitation. Or they’d gotten greedy and wanted in on it. Chances were it was always the latter. She grinned and then gave her best goofy smile. “He is, but people often stop and ask me why I’m still with him. They don’t see. Or they only see parts.” She shrugged. “Besides they can sod off. Isn’t their business you know, except when they make it. Or some royal asshole decides to threaten a fucking city over it.” She was going to murder Sebastian one day, and she wasn’t even aware what he’d pulled after. She knew that tone, and that look. She gentled some and shifted. “Look I’m curious but it’s your business. If you want to talk about something else. We can.” Hawke knew pain, and she wasn’t about to let anyone just wade into it if there wasn’t a good cause. She understood the need to keep things locked away, or just put them in a place until you could deal with it more. Sipping on her drink she chuckled, “I mean has to be better than working at some taig daily at least… for the other parties of course. Not me. Not me who has to deal with it.” She smirked wildly - she would have dealt with it anyway. Varric was a friend and you did things for your friends. She helped see Cassandra to Divine. She saved Josie from that plot. She made Dorian her ambassador to Tivinter. She kept Cole and Sera around despite their flaws. Ellana was just that sort. “But you can be in public.” She noted the observation without thinking about it. It was emotional and unnecessary. She just had to hope Hawke didn't take it wrong. She had no idea about Sebastian - but she'd have hated him too. With or without the Inquisition he was precisely the sort Ellana would prefer to throw off the side of a cliff. She chuckled again, “There's no reason not to. I just never have…” She trailed off, her voice almost quiet as she smirked, “I'd be more than happy to wager some soul revealing on a guessing game though…” She smirked at Hawke, making it clear she was genuine in her wager. She considered that and shrugged. She’d done a lot of odd jobs to make the money to get on board with the whole expedition but she’d still had some morals and ripping something off wholesale and calling it one’s own? There’d been plenty of lucrative offers she’d turned down on the principle of it all. “There’s worse things then that,” she simply offered. Because there were, really. She shrugged, “only some. And other’s couldn’t. I had enough clout, enough weight to take a known apostate into my house and pretty much dare the Templars to try and take him from me. But others didn’t.” The memory of poor Karl still haunted her. She couldn’t imagine what it did to Anders. It was why she’d supported Anders’ efforts so much, why she’d made it her business to help the mage underground as much as she possibly could. “And I still wasn’t as much in public as it looks now. There were people who wouldn’t acknowledge him. Or acknowledge him in my life. And mages can’t marry.” she gave with another shrug. She wasn’t angry at Ellana. She was just offering her own experiences. And it was an old argument, and one that weighed on her. That was obvious. “I think I told you how I found Corypheus, but not what got him stuck there. That was my Father, and the Wardens. For freedom with my Mother binding Corypheus through blood magic was the price the Wardens asked of him. And he did it and hated himself for it. That was his price to pay to be public. And in his shoes, if I was able in Kirkwall do what he’d done? I’d have done it. Did, in some fashion. For Merrill’s and Anders’ freedom, I got into bed with Meredith. Hunt down mages, for their safety.” She gave a crooked smile, “still found the loophole though. The utter bitch didn’t think to think that far ahead.” She lightened some at the other comment. “Alright. Fair where fair is. So your ambassador and Cullen’s out. I’d say the Tevinter but I do have eyes and his were fairly set in other directions.” she tapped at her chin with one finger. “Cassandra? I mean, rigid as a sword that one but maybe she’d hiding some soft spots, considering her whole fascination you told me of.” Ellana couldn’t disagree, basically everything else she’d done had been worse. That was just the reality - but at least she’d had the few amusing things. Helping Varric. Finding all the damn ales and mosaic pieces. Watching Cullen fumble around anyone who paid him any attention. Cassandra’s love of smutty novels. You know, all those stupid little things you forget are what actually fucking matters in the end. The Dalish woman (if you could even call her that now) had to bite her tongue, if Hawke was going to play along with her guessing game - she had to be careful how she responded to the things about Anders and the rest. Mage? Check. Apostate? Check. Elf only made it worse? Check. Might sorta also be kinda an elven-not-actually-a-god? Could she check that a few times? Either way, also check. Its why Ellana had accepted the quiet nature of things. It had been nice to steal something away for herself and just herself anyway. The politics and all that, she understood it more than she’d say - at least at the moment. “Seems like Earth was just what the two of you needed then.” She said, tipping her glass towards Hawke with an appreciative smile - hoping the other woman would understand it as a gesture of just that, understanding, rather than anything else. “Clearly I’m not the biggest fan of rules though, so, I’m probably a bit more preaching to the choir than I am anything else.” The rest, admittedly, caused her to raise an eyebrow. “Holy shit.” She said quietly, there was no judgment in her voice. It wasn’t like Ellana didn’t understand a no-win-absolute-shit scenario. It wasn’t like she hadn’t done things that were for people she cared about, perhaps, over everything else. So, she was in a unique place to get it. “Fuck, Hawke.” She repeated, sipping at her drink slowly, “I won’t… even pretend I know what that must feel like. I mean, I know I had to make impossible decisions but…” She paused a moment, “I see why Cassandra was so pissed at Varric now.” She didn’t think Meredith needed more commenting on, what she’d heard was enough and there was definitely no disagreement. Laughing lightly, hoping to break the tension, she shook her head. “Admittedly… can’t say I wouldn’t have tried if I thought it possible. Especially after learning she has such a tawdry side.” She snickered softly. She waved one hand, "it is what it is. But I'm going to disagree on Cassandra's point of it. Varric kept me hidden, although I wasn't trying hard to stay out of sight, not after the whole Grey Warden mess began and mind you I'm a touch annoyed he decided I needed protection like some errant kid or something I can't really fault him there. Look what they did to you," she motioned with her hand to Ellana. "They ever ask you if you were alright with your title of Herald of Andraste? They ever bother to try and steer public opinion a different way? Or did they just move with the crowd, and figured that when enough people look at you as some idol you really have only so many options to take so you can only go with it?" She tilted her head, and dropped her hand. "I've had my back against the wall. I would have said no to their request to be made Inquisitor. I'm no one's puppet, not even the Almighty's. Or Cassandra's. I respect that she's your friend, but her organization never bothered to look deeper into Kirkwall. Meredith was breaking Chantry law. And that's alright because there's enough blood mages? They never figured to wonder why that might be the case? What people in their most desperate hour might be willing to do?" Anders wasn't the only revolutionary. Hawke fought too. "They just said she had a point and left people to suffer." Her voice hadn't raised. She was offering her opinion. No more. No less. “At one point, one of the Templars offered a solution. He called it the Tranquil Solution. All mages, he said, were a potential threat. All of them should be made Tranquil. It went up to the Divine Herself.” Her voice was very calm, “I know where Cassandra stood there. So her getting ticked off Varric wasn’t sharing my opinion? She’s throwing rocks in her own glass house there.” She downed the glass again and poured some more. Maybe it was too much to give or to say but in things like this Hawke tried to offer as much of a rounded view as she could. And she’d said all this to Cassandra. In a more loud tone and with a lot more cursing, but she’d still defended her friend from someone who’d been angry at keeping someone they cared about safe. “All that aside, maybe she’s different when you know her. Maybe she’s got hidden softness. Fenris is like that,” she offered honestly. “When you meet him he’s basically a walking spiky grumpy ass, but once you get beneath that you see he does care. And cares a lot. He’s just never been taught how to really deal with all of that.” She considered the other members she’d met. “What was her name? Kind of short, wears fucked up sort of clothes, always ready to start shit. Her?” Ellana held up her hands, fingers lifting off her glass slightly, she didn’t blame Hawke for her reaction - even if she didn’t agree with it. “I think Cassandra was a fucking bitch to Varric and I told her as much. I just get why they would have wanted you.” Resting her glass on her knee after a little sip she sighed softly, “Its bullshit to have experience. Its what gets you put in shit situations like that. Varric was in an impossible one. The Inquisition could have been helped, but you deserved any peace and quiet you could fucking find - you’ve earned it before and earned it again…” She shrugged softly, looking out the window again, “I really only meant I get why they wanted you. Cassandra’ll learn, or she’ll have to, to not be such a bitch when she doesn’t get her way - its a bad habit, but it’ll make her a stronger Divine in some ways. Less likely to take people’s shit just to take it.” She still wasn’t happy with some of what was unfolding with Cassandra as Divine Victoria… but Leliana deserved to disappear and not have the stress and Vivienne? Hell fucking no. Ellana would have killed the mage herself for her rigid way of only-her-way-is-the-best-way thinking and there was no way that would have ended well. For anyone. At least, in her opinion - of everyone she picked up along the way Vivienne was the only one she felt nothing for. She’d wanted to, she really had. She wanted to like Vivienne for all her tenacity and independence but for all what she gave herself - she wanted to keep others locked up, Ellana couldn’t abide by that. Wetting her lips she shrugged in a sort of effortlessly casual way she’d taught herself over the years, “They asked, I made jokes. The people needed something and it wasn’t about me.” Also there was the whole dying or getting executed thing, but she figured that didn’t need to be brought up. “I figured the world not ending was a good enough reason to let some shitty title stand, I will say, seeing Justinia in the Fade like that… damn near had me consider believing until everything else went down.” Everything else was, of course finding out the whole of Dalish lore was based off of some asshole uber-mage elven idiots from thousands of years ago enslaving their own people for funsies and profit. No better than Tevinter in so many ways. Caused the downfall of their whole species, the humans could probably thank them for that - not that she agreed with… well, whatever, she pulled her thoughts away from going somewhere the conversation would probably end up anyway. Snorting softly she arched an eyebrow, “Fenris?” She questioned, “He was fairly polite to me, I mean, I guess a little bristly but he did offer me wine.” The off-handed statement was made as a little look of shock came over her face, “Okay I’ve made some mistakes, but Sera? I like to think I would at least have made her wear something that wasn’t half slathered in mustard…” It was better in some cases, to let a conversation die then keep at it. That was the difference in her. Hawke knew when to press, when to let go. She might be very much like when she fought, all aggression and heavy hits, but she also knew when to guard, when to break, and when to let a fight drop. Trying to yell at people to convince them of a certain way of thinking didn’t always work. And there was only so much more she could add before it became an argument. And she wasn’t here to argue. She was here to have drinks and offer a bit of levity. Instead she just snorted at the mention of Justinia, “yeah made me pause for a bit. But it...wasn’t really her I think.”She frowned. “Spirits are weird, but in all my life I’ve never met whatever we leave behind when we die. Doesn’t mean you weren’t helped of course. But, if I had to call it,” she smiled. “Hope. Makes a certain sense. You needed Hope, and a spirit of it might have found you. When we walked through the Fade, finding the pieces of your memories that were left behind all we had was hope we might get out. And whatever she was, she knew her way around that place really well. ‘Course I could be talking out of my arse. Maker knows I have a habit of it.” She paused a moment and then shrugged, “I’m not saying this to be contradictory but I still don’t know why she wanted me. My cousin? Solana saved the world. From all my time in Kirkwall I didn’t really manage much. I stopped the Qunari, yeah but Varric told me that whole thing hadn’t been a sanctioned battle. I mean, we both know the Qun wouldn’t have lifted a finger to stop them or to bring them to heel and if they’d won they would have been happy with a springboard but they didn’t have any back up or strength behind them. Otherwise me duelling the Arishok wouldn’t have worked, weird rules or not.” She raised her eyebrows then and smiled, “oh did he now? That’s practically flirting for him. Didn’t even know he did. Now you have to spill. We can get back to maybe mistakes later. This is the good shit.” “Well, that is how spirits work at least.” Ellana had become more acquainted with spirits than she ever expected. Between actually surviving, coming out of the Fade and the things Solas taught her. The things she saw in the temple. What happened when Morrigan went into the pool… She didn’t have to believe there were Gods to know too much first hand about the rest of it - if anything, what she’d seen? Then what she’d figured out about things, piece by piece (not that she really had confirmation yet, but - she may as well have, something or other about hindsight and all that)... it was easy to see how they’d done it, those assholes, how they’d become Gods, how it could have happened again with Andraste or something. Ellana really wasn’t entirely sure what she believed. Maybe Gods were only Gods if you believed they were, that was what mattered more. People needed hope and all that. Or something. She was already starting to make excuses for the Dalish pushing back at her revelation of the truth - if only because she couldn’t do anything now, she wasn’t there, and their naivety was going to get them killed so, excuses would have to quell her feelings for now. “Its rational too, I mean, spirits mostly work off primary emotions and wants like that. Fear. Hope. Loyalty. Knowledge. Then they get corrupted by assholes who misuse them.” She still felt pity for Solas’ friend. To be turned into something like that against your will. Of course, she didn’t really have first hand experience like Hawke did - not even close - at least, not of that sort. Ellana had, thankfully, never really dealt with possessions on a personal level. Arching an eyebrow she easily downed the rest of her drink, “Huh? I mean… he reached out to me…” She said, laughing softly, “Apparently I’m chatty - but at least he’d been warned by Varric. Oh and uh… what else, oh apparently I very much care about people and far too much. He’s a little dramatic, I don’t know if I’d call it flirting - though admittedly I’m a little shameless.” She snorted softly, reaching for the bottle to pour herself a little more. Bourbon was definitely better than the wine, so far. “Something about the wine being a gift, not that I need it or something or other might have been said. I still think he was just being nice and pitying me for all the bullshit.” She shrugged again, “Either way, elf men are all bloody dramatic, but he seemed nice enough by my standards and we seemed to basically be in agreement on things.” Admittedly, she didn’t have the tip top standards. And, for Hawke’s sake, she wasn’t going to talk about Alexius or Corypheus and bringing up Felix just didn’t seem to have a point - that part of the conversation could stay private. The rest… she was curious was Hawke was so curious. “Granted,” she gave to the point about spirits and misuse, “but that’s also a part of not being taught right. Technically, mages aren’t Chantry but they’re still taught Chantry rhetoric which is more or less all spirits are demons and all demons are spirits. And I can’t say what yours are taught there. But spirits are also more complicated then their roots.” At least in her personal experience. “And they see things black and white, which works in the Fade. Here, in this world they run into concepts they’re not really familiar with like grey areas.” She spread her hands. “And you can’t explain it to them. Maker knows I’ve tried, but it doesn’t make sense to them. Which is really strange. You’d think years on Anders would have rubbed off on Justice but so far I’ve only gotten Justice to agree that if I say no that means he gets to pack it in and leave it alone. But he won’t understand. So I think even when you work with spirits and do it as right as you can that translation error will always throw wrenches. Which is more evidence to the Fade Justinia being a spirit. A ghost, or memory or whatever else we leave behind would know that maybe helping out would be a good idea. Spirits only know to help in the most clear cut of terms. She showed us the way, but didn’t think to point out the dangers we’d face. She helped you find your memories but didn’t think to find a way to collect them in one point. And despite their differences, the Nightmare and Justinia were kind of similar.” She grinned again, sly. “Didn’t think to warn you about me though.” She set the glass down and rubbed her hands together. “Him approaching is different, I’m glad he’s gotten to the point. Fenris...he hasn’t had the easiest of it and that’s putting it fucking lightly. There was a time where all you got with him were walls. I mean you’re right he’ll always be dramatic,” she rolled her eyes, “It never ends. I escaped a land of dark magic, only to have it hunt me at every turn. It is a plague burned into my flesh and my soul.” She quoted. “Seriously one of the things he said to me, but if he’s offering wine it means he’s charmed.” Her grin widened. “And I make it my business to see my friends happy. And well I have eyes. I did have some interest but well…” she shrugged. “Things changed. Which means now I get to annoy him and get in his business. And if he’s shown interest then I have a duty here.” Smiling she leaned closer to Ellana, “so some pointers here. He’s not great with magic and you’ll have to ask to touch him. He likes wine, which you know, but he’s also a big fan of reading. He couldn’t always so I gave him a hand there just not any of Varric’s books. He’s a big sucker for tiny adorable things.” She tapped things off her fingers before giving another grin. “Here I’ll do a Wicked Grace night, he can’t resist. He’s got a really good poker face though so be ware, but it’ll be grand.” “Solas talked a lot about spirits.” She said, it felt a bit weird saying his name - she honestly avoided it - it left a bitter taste. That sort of betrayal and memory that you knew would linger in the back of your mind for eternity even if you moved on from it. “But his relationship to the Fade was different.” She left it there. “I saw what happened to a spirit of knowledge some idiot mages pulled through against its will - I mean, I sided with the mages, I respect mage freedom, I don’t like the circles, but for fucks sake are some of them idiots. They thought they could…” Ellana didn’t like thinking about that day, it was one of her decisions she regretted above all others - emotions were a hell of a thing, she should have made Solas let them go. She didn’t. On the other hand, there was no way of stopping them again and they’d clearly not given a shit about possible repercussions so… She didn’t know. Maybe she didn’t regret letting him get rid of the mages. Maybe she did. Maybe even now there was no good answer. Solas would have been intrigued Anders had any… co-existence with Justice. Hell, Ellana hadn’t even known - but it did explain why her hand ached near him. Not ached, but it felt… odd. It was hard to explain. Anything that touched by the fade at least made her hand feel… off. “Anyway, didn’t end well for anyone. But I’ve seen too much to agree with the Chatry by-line that they’re interchangeable.” She took a sizeable gulp, “I should have introduced you to Cole.” She noted, “You probably would have liked him - basically spit in the face of everything the Chantry says about spirits. Was all but human.” And he cared and wanted to help and he wanted to be human and he’d chosen to be there. That mattered more. “Honestly, Vivienne’s treatment of… never mind, not worth talking about that sort of shit.” She cut herself off, full well knowing there was no point. And though she was curious about the Anders stuff, she wasn’t going to pry. Anders was going to be Anders to her and she’d rather see it that hear it, even if from Hawke. Not that she didn’t obviously trust the other woman, but she knew some things were better left truly pried into. Blinking incredulously at Hawke she cleared her throat, eyes trained on the other woman, “What now.” She said, almost in a state of shock - even if most of it was for dramatic effect. “Wait, wait, are you trying to…” She trailed off, sipping at her bourbon as she squinted at the other woman. Maybe the liquor was making her a little more coy - but if they were all to be honest, it was a core part of her personality anyways. “Sidebar, probably shouldn’t have mentioned Varric writes smut to him then…” She frowned, trying to put faces to the names Ellena was mentioning. Neither of them sounded familiar. “Not to be difficult but, who? Seriously none of those names ring any bells.” It was more then likely she’d never met them, or did and passed them without putting names to faces. She’d only been in Skyhold for a little bit, and while she’d met some people not all of them had been noted down as remembered. She’d made it her business to know the Tevinter and qunari, because both could come after her and hers, and Cassandra had already been known to her but the others were people she’d noted a few things about. “And they're to blame but they aren’t, “she offered about the mages. “Same thing with the blood magic. It’s a choice, it always is but most mages are always put against walls, and like I said interchangeable rhetoric. It isn’t really an excuse but it is an explanation. And people will always do dumb shit when they’re frightened.” “I have an excellent track record here,” because getting Aveline to admit her feelings and it actually work was practically a miracle really. She’d never met anyone who had been so terrible at flirting. “Besides if he reached out to you and makes steps there...trust me that means a lot.” She laughed then, “oh he knows it’s why he doesn’t read Varric’s things I think but honestly Wicked Grace. Say next week? We’ll have drinks, we can get familiar with each other. I’ll invite everyone so it won’t look weird. I’ll just put you between Anders and Fenris. One you’ll get to chat to Fenris. Two you’ll be a barrier. I’m not at all confident they won’t throw bread at each other out of sheer…” she sighed and shrugged, “they’re five really, can’t mend burned bridges.” Now she had the idea she wouldn’t be drawn back from it. Fenris really should have warned Ellena about Hawke’s habit of trying to play matchmaker. “Invite whoever you like. It’ll be fun. I’ll get my cousin to come.” Ellana having to explain Solas was clearly going to happen at some point here, and she would have preferred it in the joking way. So she did the clearly adult thing and side stepped a whole swath of information and feelings and forced out an amused huff, “Oh, that elf mage that was normally around.” She said simply, leaving the description of Solas probably a little too brief, “Cole’s way more interesting.” It wasn’t false, but it also wasn’t true. Or maybe it was, Cole was definitely more unique than Solas in many ways - but the elf had a certain charm of his own and certainly plenty of things he was the only living person that could claim. Sometimes she wagered it’d be best if he’d gone and gotten lost in those damn Eluvians and never showed his face again - but she figured he was just biding his time for… something. “If Cole didn’t let you see him, or let you remember him you wouldn’t have. In the end he was happy though… in the end he ending up figuring out more about himself than I think your average spirit is even able to. Even Solas said he was different, very different. I like to think he just ended up a happy young man who got what he wanted - to help people.” Really, it was the best she could of hoped for with Cole. “They summoned it because they were afraid of the Dalish and that damned idiotic Orlesian civil war. Even though the fighting had basically gone by the time we got there. It was just stupid, and people- people are prone to stupidity.” She ended with a smirk, for the best she figured. Arching an eyebrow, “See, now I’m curious - you? A matchmaker? The famed Champion of Kirkwall. Woman who stood above even the best of men, which i’m not always convinced there are the best of men, so pardon the dramatics.” Her whole tone and attitude changed as she faux-lamented Hawke’s achievements, “You can’t possibly be telling me that the very same woman is also a notorious matchmaker!” She huffed, though it was clearly for effect, “No, no I refuse to believe it.” Even though, clearly, without knowing it Hawke had hit Ellana’s type right on the fucking head and clearly she was goddamn doomed. Broody elf men - what the hell was wrong with her brain. Though, she would at least admit it was nice talking to Fenris and while dramatic and perhaps a bit broody he had a quality that she didn’t recognize from Solas. He gave a shit about the little people. Actually, with not much hard thought at all that was a pretty stark difference. Not that she was… whatever. “Wicked Grice sounds fun, but if I end up with bread crumbs on me…” She contemplated, going through her memory. Normally Hawke portrayed herself as a typical bruiser. Good with a sword, not too terribly clever. But Ellana had met her when she’d been travelling with Stroud and keeping the both of them out of sight while figuring out as much as they could about the going ons. That sort of mask wouldn’t really suit. “Bald one? Yeah I crossed paths a few times. The other two don’t have any recollection to me.” that was different. To know Cole hadn’t been human and could make it so she wouldn’t remember him. Even Justice couldn’t manage that one. “I’m glad for this cole if it turned out good for him. Kind of wish I could remember though, because I’ll admit. Little freaky.” But maybe she shouldn’t cast stones. She was all in all sleeping with a spirit, in some fashion or another. “Not an excuse again, but fear makes you do a lot of stupid things. The Dalish don’t get the best view among the Chantry, and Maker only knows what they teach in Circles.” She shrugged, “but I wasn’t there. Not really my call to make on that one.” Again she laughed, “I have to have some secrets and a bit of mystery to me but yes. Believe it or not.” Again she rubbed her hands before grabbing her glass again. “Oh but this will be great. Now I have to find whatever sort of person my cousin likes and I’ll be set.” She held up her hands, “I’m sure they’ll hold off to avoid anything happening to you. Or if it does just remind them why not to do that. Maybe they’ll learn. I love them, but they're exhausting. Although, for added fun with them add Merrill. I honestly turned around once and dropped people back off at their place because you’d think the bickering would end. But it doesn't. Ever.” “Yeah - broody, bald, bold opinions. That’s Solas.” Ellana pursed her lips, clearly much more content with talking about Cole. “Its more likely you didn’t run into him at all. Eventually I had a little chat with him, Varric actually helped… Might not have been the best way to handle the situation but Cole got rid of his more metaphorical demons and everything ended up for the better. I got him to stop making people forget him unless they were cruel to him, well, it took awhile but eventually I did.” She smiled softly, “Honestly, Cole helped give me a whole new outlook on just how… varied the Fade was - how much we all really needed to open our eyes.” It was the truth - even beyond Fen’Harel, Cole was such a… wonderful example of how things were never as clear as you thought. Huffing softly, “Understatement. The Dalish do it to themselves anyway.” Another conversation perhaps best left for another time. There was always going to be a lot of that. Everything would come with time - but there was no sense in overburdening themselves out the gate. At least not when, really for both of them? This was the oddest sort of fresh breath of air. Lifting a finger off the glass she pointed at Hawke, “Now, don’t go saying you’ve figured out my type yet. I’ve said nothing, ma’am.” Smirking still at the other women, who of course was clearly entirely right, “For all you know Cullen could really be my type and I’m just lying to you. I mean, we’ve both agreed that bird mantle is worth stealing…” Hawke had even less stones to throw there. She understood not wanting to talk about something, wanting some distance. And she wasn’t the type to really push. Too much anyway. ”Bit of a dick? Yeah now I know him,” it was easy to shift to the topic of Cole and she smiled at it. Clearly whoever this Cole was he meant a lot to Ellena. “I’m glad for it. Helping people find their path is kind of nice.” She’d done it enough to know that feeling. Instead she smiled, slyly, at Ellana. “I said nothing about a type anywhere. Just that you two were getting friendly. You, oh gracious Inquisitor, just pointed out that he just might be.” Her eyes danced merrily. For someone who, as Hawke had heard it, had swanned through the Orlesian Court and come out on top she was giving a lot away. She snorted then, “from what I know of Cullen, him and Fenris aren’t too different besides one of them being human. Broody, prone to a bit of dramatics.” She held up her glass. “Would you like a shovel to keep digging that grave of yours? Besides cullen isn’t here. Fenris is. And Cullen seems the type that if you’re with him he’d give things. Little mementos that would mean something.” Like she’d given Anders the rune and the key. “And you don’t seem the type to hide those. Want to try again?” There was no hiding the laughter that came from her lips - though it did manage to fight back at the cringe she wanted to make. “Bit of a dick, probably another understatement.” Her laugh trailed off as she quickly sipped at her drink. For any love and good there was with Solas, even the Inquisitor was firmly able to admit how many problems there were. Whether it was how know it all he was or what he thought of your average person or how elitist he was. Let alone that Corypheus was coincidentally, also only possible in his more recent form because of a bad bet made by said certain mage… for all in her life that was complicated her feelings there, whatever you wanted to call the history there still probably topped the cake. Even more so if he was going down the path she was quite certain he was now that he had access to the Eluvials again and everything that had happened at and after the temple. It was easy to transition the laugh into a smirk and avoid any… awkwardness that twinge of thought may have threatened to bring out in her features. Reaching up she fiddled with a bit of loose copper hair and pushed it behind a pointed ear - she'd have to get her braids redone soon, Maker pray for the poor person left to manage it. She just hadn't had time for that sort of shit. “Oh. I haven't broken ground yet, don't worry.” The comment was overtly casual, clearly done so on purpose. She motioned towards Hawke with her glass again, “You're also assuming he'd like me, I have a feeling I'm a little out of his league of tolerance overall.” She gave a shrug. It wasn't like she had many legs to stand on with having people who could be dicks as friends. Most of her circle was kind of like that, her included. "Didn't really talk to him much. Varric showed me what he was painting though, and that was nice." Which didn't always mean much. Before he'd decided to have a go at Princely asshole Sebastian had been one to aid the poor and desperate. Mind, even then it always had strings. He'd always be preaching at people, as if somehow he had a leg to stand on. She should have seen it though. Sebastian had the Chantry's thinking of 'I am right'. She didn’t regret burning that bridge one bit. “You are full of shit Serah,” she gave and set the glass down. She was a happy sort of buzzed right now and she had a habit of being a bit flirty and touchy when she got properly drunk so she knew her limits. Even now she was lighter and felt a lot more relaxed, which was a good mood to be in. “Who Cullen or Fenris? They both have eyes so you’ve got that sorted. Besides, sometimes a bit of differences of opinions works. And you can teach either of them a bit of tolerance. It’ll be good for them.” |