WHO: Justin and Ernie
WHEN: After Justin's owl
WHERE: Hufflepuff 7th year boys' dorm
RATING: PG
STATUS: Complete log



Ernie was plopped on his bed, trying to concentrate on his assignments. Justin's owl caught him off guard and he wasn't really sure he was ready to face his best mate. He had been worried out of his mind to find both Justin AND Zach gone when he returned from the ball; he was secretly relieved to find them both drunk and reprimanded a few hours later, however. Of course, he had given both the silent treatment, barely acknowledging either's existence with anything more than a nod hello. Had he known both elicited his father's help, he'd be even more livid, but, luckily, Ernest hadn't seen fit to tell him.

He was trying to concentrate; he truly was. It was just hard when he was fighting with his best mate. He had also always considered Zach a friend, albeit a nutty one. Didn't they understand the war changed everything though? Ernie had a job to do and it was stressful and he just wanted to count on his house-mates at the very least. Not to mention Hannah taking up with his ex-best friend, Theodore Nott, wasn't sitting well with him either and didn't EITHER think that HE might need a mate?

Of course, telling either would have been too easy. Ernie would rather hint and sulk when he didn't get his way. But, in his defense, he felt he had tried. He just didn't exactly phrase himself in the best way possible. At any rate, Ernie's weekend had been miserable. Hermione was good conversation at the ball, but the boy couldn't help but fear Ron would secretly hate him for life now.

Oy, life.

“Oy life” was right. Justin was miserable. Completely miserable, and it was his own fault. He should have been a better friend to Ernie, he knew that, he did, but honestly, it never seemed like Ernie needed him. Not the same way Zach needed him. But Justin should’ve known better. Ernie had been his best friend for years, he should have recognized when his friend needed him. He was an idiot not to, and as he slumk up to the dorms, he was fully prepared to be told just that. He deserved it.

He took a moment to compose himself before stepping through the door, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot as he gazed at Ernie through his lashes. “…Hi,” he mumbled, lowering his head even more, until his chin nearly touched his chest.

Ernie truly wasn't an unreasonable being. He tried to be fair and see all sides, but, sometimes, his emotions bested him. He'd have probably been a Gryffindor if he wasn't a Puff and Ernie darn well knew it. It made sense too. His father was a Hufflepuff and his mother was a Gryffindor. One sister had been a Hufflepuff and the other a Ravenclaw. It didn't take a rocket scientist too figure the odds there.

Seeing Justin, Ernie nodded. "Hello." He glanced down at his parchment, thinking for a minute. "How are you?" It was a rather awkward thing to stay, but Ernie was at a loss.

“Awful,” Justin admitted. “…I was really stupid. I know you’re under a lot of pressure, or I should’ve known, and I should’ve been there for you. S’what best friends do, and I wasn’t a very good best friend at all. And I’m sorry, and I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to be friends with me any more, but I’m still sorry, and I still don’t want to lose you. Just…” He sighed quietly, taking a few more steps into the room and fiddling with his robes. “Just wish you would, you know, tell me things. If you need help or if you need me at all…”

Ernie swallowed hard, glancing away for only a moment. He hadn't really expected Justin to just blurt all that out. Sighing, he finally fully sat up on the bed. "Justin, you know I want to be friends still." He had already lost two friends over stupid things; he didn't need to lose Justin too. Especially when Ernie thought back to how worried he had been when muggle-borns were being petrified his second year. He couldn't bear the thought of losing Justin. At all.

"I just…I know he has issues and I'm not heartless here…" He shook his head, blonde waves falling into his eyes until he pushed them back. "I offered to let him stay with me, you know. But he's so…unreasonable sometimes and with the war just ended…" Ernie trailed off, not sure he was making any sense at all.

Hope sprang up in Justin’s belly when Ernie said that he still wanted to be friends, and his chin rose automatically. Ernie still wanted to be friend. Nothing could make Justin happier at that moment. “I know,” he murmured, taking a few more steps closer to Ernie’s bed. “I know, and sometimes I want to smack him in the head, but it’s just… He thinks he has to push people away, because if he doesn’t get close to people, he won’t get hurt, and it’s all his dad’s fault for making him think like that, so I just… I want to be one of the people he lets in, because he really is a good person, he just doesn’t like people to see that side of him.”

"I can get that." Ernie could too. He wasn't without emotion for his fellow house-mate, but Zach was 17 now; he couldn't just shoot his mouth off whenever he felt like it. He gestured to the bed. "You can sit, if you want."

Justin slowly moved forward to sit on the edge of the bed, near the foot. Even if Ernie had been the one to extend the invitation, he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. “…Why didn’t you just tell me you wanted me to go to the ball to support you?” he asked quietly. “You’re my best mate, Ernie. You can ask me or tell me anything.”

Ernie thought back over to the entry that had started it all. Blasted journals. Good idea in theory, but practice was proving tricky. "I assumed you'd realize it. Especially after my comment about you not going." He studied his fingernails carefully. His mum would have his head if she knew he hadn't cleaned them for the dance. Still, it was easier to look there than at Justin. "I suppose I could have been clearer, but it seems all you want to do is talk to Zach and with Hannah all into Ted--- Nott now…" He groaned. He might have been a Hufflepuff, but he was still a bloke and didn't much fancy talking about these things. "Well, I haven't really had most anyone to talk to about anything. Hermione has her own problems and I am not going to add to those."

God, he was a horrible friend. Justin swallowed thickly, lowering his head once more. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Really, ‘m so sorry, Ernie. I should’ve realized you needed me, but I just… I got so caught up in everything… I should’ve been there for you.”

Ernie cracked a small smile. "You mentioned that a time or two. It's alright, mate." He exhaled a deep breath. "I'm sorry too. I should have said something. I just…could really use some help. Zach listens to you more than me and he's…upsetting too many people for any of this unity thing McGonagall keeps expunging to start." He shrugged. "He's pretty angry at me now, anyway. But…since when am I enemy number one?"

“You aren’t,” Justin told him, as soothingly as he could manage. “You aren’t, not at all. It’s just… Everything’s different now that the war’s over. Zach’s still angry he wasn’t allowed to help, and you’re Head Boy, now, which isn’t a bad thing, I promise, it’s just… Everything’s changed so much. And it’s harder to get used to those changes than people expect. We can’t just all of a sudden start getting along with everyone. I mean… Look at Kasen. She still hates everyone. And it’s not like any of the Slytherins are really making an effort, other than Nott. And I don’t know what to think of that, really. It’s… It’s really hard. But you can’t take it personally."

"I don't even know if he is. Nott that is." Ernie rubbed at his tried eyes. "He's never really been a bad bloke. Just quiet and not really willing to…ruffle feathers as my dad would say." Ernie held a hand up, a half-amused smile playing on his lips. "I know this can't change over night. I don't even know how I feel about it really. Just…it's like everyone's looking at me to set an example and even I don't know what to think about things, you know?"

Justin smiled softly, allowing himself to scoot a little bit closer to Ernie. “Just be you,” he suggested quietly. “I mean, they picked you for Head Boy for a reason, right? So just… be yourself and don’t worry about all of that. You were already setting a pretty good example, so they don’t have any reason to complain, yeah?”

Ernie raised his eyebrows, but he was pleased by the compliment. "Let's hope, yeah?" His face grew more somber. "I'm sorry too, you know."

“I know,” Justin murmured, gazing at Ernie silently for a moment before coming to a decision and throwing himself forward to give Ernie a tight hug. Yeah, that was what he needed right there. “Don’t want to ever not be friends with you again,” he mumbled into Ernie’s shoulder.

Ernie was always surprised by these things. He patted Justin's back nevertheless, laughing a bit. "Well, naturally," he teased.

Justin huffed out a quiet laugh against Ernie’s shoulder, squeezing him gently. “…Love you, mate. And I’ll try to talk to Zach, I will. Just don’t want it to seem to him like we’re trying to change him, you know?”

Sure, Ernie loved his best-mate too, but he only nodded with a grin at that. He'd tell Hannah he loved her; he'd tell his parents and siblings…and that was about it. Puff or not. "Not change…just tweak. And thanks. I appreciate it. Honest."

Even tweaking Zach might be a stretch, but Justin nodded, clinging to Ernie for a moment longer before finally releasing him and sitting back. “You’re welcome, you know. …Can I talk to you about something? It’s rather… Well. Difficult.”

Oh, dear. Now what? "Course." Ernie gave Justin an encouraging nod.

Right, then. Justin took a deep breath, taking comfort in Ernie’s nod. “…I think I might’ve kissed Zach. The night after the Quidditch captains were announced. We… Well, we drinking, to celebrate, and we were completely pissed, and he’s acted like it didn’t happen, so I don’t know if it really did, or if I dreamt it. But I just… had to talk to someone about it.”

So much for Ernie not really believing Justin was gay. Well, at least he had told him. It wasn't as if he cared if he was, but he didn't want to READ it. "Oh…" He paused, searching out the right words. "Do you remember how it felt?"

Justin shrugged, lowering his eyes to pick at Ernie’s blanket. “Liked it, I guess. I mean, I think I was the one who started it, so I must’ve liked it. …That doesn’t make me gay, though, right? I mean, it was just a kiss.” A kiss that he barely remembered at that.

Well, Ernie had never wanted to kiss a bloke so he wasn't sure if it did or not. "Well, I don't know…was it as good as kissing girls?" Oy, if he had to like blokes, why Smith? Why?

Justin blushed darkily, ducking his head even more. "...I wouldn't know. 've never kissed a girl." God, this was a bad sign, wasn't it? That his first kiss was with one of his best mates? One of his male best mates?

Ernie supposed he should have known that, but it wasn't something he pried about. Sure, Justin had never dated a Hogwarts girl, but he was a muggle and could have at home during some holiday…

"Justin…if you are…well, you know, gay…is that a bad thing really?" He hesitated a second before reaching a hand out to squeeze the boy's shoulder. "I mean you are who you are."

“No. I mean, Zach’s gay and that’s fine, you know? But I… I’m not. I’d know by now if I was gay, right? Right. And besides which, we were drunk.” And that was that. Justin shook his head, shooting Ernie a small smile. “Forget I even said anything.”

Ernie knew enough to not push, but, really, people didn't usually get drunk and kiss their same-sex best mates, did they? "Well, I mean…just letting you know. If you do…fancy Zach or whatever." Merlin, this was awkward.

"Right," Justin agreed quickly. "But I don't, so...it's fine. But thank you. I mean, I'm glad you wouldn't... you know. Chuck me. If I was. If I did."

Ernie's head cocked to the side, the gaze he flickered over Justin thoughtful, but not judging. "You should probably talk to him."

"Yeah?" Justin asked quietly, chewing on his bottom lip. "But I don't... I don't know if it really even happened. I mean, wouldn't he have brought it up if it did? What if I just dreamed it, and then I go to talk to him about it and he thinks I'm mental?"

"Well, if you're dreaming it, there's probably a reason and if you don't talk…well, it could get awkward, you know?" It seemed to make sense to Ernie, but he knew he wouldn't be QUITE so willing to chat Zach up in Justin's position either.

And that...was a very good point. This was the reason why Ernie was Justin's best friend. "Yeah..." he murmured, brow furrowed slightly. "You're right, of course. Maybe I should talk to him." After a moment, he flashed Ernie a gentle smile. "Thanks, mate. Really."

"Course." Ernie returned the smile with one of his own. "Now…I don't know about you, buuuuut…I could use some air?"

Justin's smile grew, and he nodded. "Air sounds brilliant. We could take a walk around the lake and you can tell me all about what a brilliant time I missed at the ball."