Who: Ernie Macmillan and Neville Longbottom
When: Friday afternoon
Where: Outside of the greenhouses, and then the kitchens
What: Attempting to bring Ernie out of his very sad state
Rating: PG (it's these two, come on, Ernie says bloody!)
Status: Complete!



As Professor Sprout dismissed the class for the day, most of her NEWT students went spilling out of the greenhouse as they usually did. Except, of course, for one. Neville took a few more minutes with the bubotuber he'd taken on as his own special project. The plant had been dying, and with a bit of help from Professor Sprout, Neville was bringing it along nicely. Madam Pomfrey had even said she might be able to use it, soon.

After pruning just a few more leaves, he went to put his supplies away. By the time he was finished and hoisting his bag on to his shoulder to start the walk back up to the castle, it had been at least five minutes since his classmates had left. Only they hadn't all left, because Neville saw Ernie still lingering nearby. He looked lost, as Neville sort of expected he would.

Hurrying out the door to go after him, Neville caught up as fast as he could, which was really much faster than it had been a few years ago. As he reached Ernie's side, he reached out to touch the Hufflepuff's elbow, although his arrival couldn't possibly have been quiet. "Awfully cold to be just hanging around here," he asked, falling into step beside his friend. "Thought you'd have been to the castle and back by now."

Ernie had been lost in thought when Neville caught him. He had been thinking over the events of the last few days, yes, but also pondering if he was a worthwhile being. He had snapped at someone he didn't know, been downright rude to Teddy, and brushed off Neville's owl. Harry and Lavender were right; it wasn't him. He couldn't help it though. He felt terrible all around. Hence, when he felt someone by his side, he startled. Blinking quickly, he muttered, "Neville, don't frighten a bloke, would you?" He ignored the boy's accusation. So he was hiding, big deal. It wasn't as if his being in the spotlight had helped anything.

"Didn't mean to," Neville replied with a shrug. "Figured I make enough fuss on an entrance to not surprise anyone, really." Which meant Ernie wasn't paying any attention at all. Which...probably wasn't a good sign. "So..." Ordinarily he probably would've rattled on about the great lesson they'd just had, but he instinctively knew Ernie was not going to be caring much at all about the lesson. "Should I even ask how you are?"

Ernie felt horrible almost immediately. None of his feelings were Neville's fault and he should definitely not be ignoring a good mate. Sighing, he shook his head. "I'm sorry, mate. Didn't mean to snap." He slowed down, allowing his accident prone friend the chance to not fall flat on his face. However, Ernie did ignore the query.

Neville blinked his surprise, then paused for a moment before catching up. "You didn't. Not really. Well, maybe you did, but I didn't take it as snapping." He sort of had. But it was to be expected, wasn't it? Ernie was hurt and was bound to lash out. For a long moment he was silent, just walking by Ernie's side. Finally, he had it in him to ask, "what actually happened? I don't mean to pry, Ernie, honestly, I'm just confused. I think a lot of us are. That was out of the blue, really."

Whatever Neville thought, Ernie had indeed snapped and felt awful for it. Hence, he enjoyed the momentary quiet as they strolled along. Hearing Nev speak up again though, Ernie realized he was in for a conversation. "You're not prying. I…" He stopped, turning to face the Gryffindor. Outside of the Huffelpuffs, Ernie most identified with Neville. They were almost as different as night and day on the surface, but, deep down, both were very loyal and brave young men. "I'm sorry I just ran off on you. It was rude."

"But you didn't," Neville defended his friend again. "I mean, you left and all, but I didn't think you were...well." He felt a bit uncomfortable that way, Ernie stopping and apologizing for what he considered no reason at all. Shifting from foot to foot, he instead stared at the dead grass at Ernie's feet.

Perhaps that was Ernie's issue - that feeling guilty thing. He simply couldn't help it though. It was as ingrained as his name. Oh, if Ernie felt justified in a cause or belief, he could be the most self-assured and arrogant wizard going, but when he was confused? He doubted himself. "Thanks." He forced a smile albeit a small one. He nodded toward the kitchens. "The elves fix me a snack sometimes. Perks of being Head Boy and all. What do you say?"

Neville glanced up, a bit surprised. He didn't exactly think Ernie was up to social outings, honestly. Still, he wouldn't turn down the chance to spend time with the Head Boy, who'd been his friend long before his prefect's badge. Ernie wasn't one of the purebloods who made Neville feel like an outsider just because he hadn't grown up in their little realm of purity. He'd always felt welcome with Ernie, and only partially because their parents had been friends and Ernest Macmillan had taken Neville under his wing. Even Gran liked the boy, and that was saying something. "Sure," he finally agreed with a short nod of his head. "That might be nice. If you want."

Ernie had no reason to treat anyone like an outsider. Well, except his so-called Slytherin friends who hadn't been his friends, but might have been his friends if…whoa, his mind was going way too fast. Taking a deep breath and forcing his smile to grow wider, he nodded energetically. "It's been too long, yeah?" Ernie really liked Neville and not only because of Ernest. Nev was a nice bloke who just seemed so honest and caring no matter what. How could Ernie not like him? "Come on…" He started for the aforementioned kitchen.

Though pointed in the direction of Gryffindor tower, it only took a moment for Neville to turn and follow Ernie towards the kitchen. He'd slipped in there a couple of times, usually on some sort of mission, never just for a pleasure trip. "Perks of being a Head Boy, huh?" he asked, falling easily into step beside Ernie once again. "Why haven't I taken advantage of these yet? What's the fun of being friends with the Head Boy if I'm not using it for all it's worth?"

Being reminded of his status didn't do much to improve the Hufflepuff's mood. Still, he tried to keep his cheery attitude for Neville's sake. "I don't know, mate, plenty of the others have begged me for pasties and biscuits and…well, tons of other junk. No one ever wants the green beans!" He then grinned down at Dobby. "Hey, Dobby, how's it going?"

Neville beamed at the familiar house elf. He was a good friend of Harry's, Neville knew, and he spent quite a bit of time hanging around Gryffindor for it. Though he'd only caught him up there a few times, Neville still loved interacting with the friendly elf whenever he did. "Hullo, Dobby," he said cheerfully. He wasn't, however, fooled by Ernie's complete change in attitude. But that was something he'd have to address at another point, as already elves seemed to be surrounding them, chattering away and offering up cakes and sweeties.

Once the pair was settled, Ernie sipped his pumpkin juice. He hadn't the stomach for much else. "So, how are you, Nev? And your gran?"

"She's a bit worried about you, honestly," Neville replied, jumping right to the point. He wanted to support Ernie, but he wasn't sure how.

Ernie blinked. "She knows?" He was too stunned to even try and cover it up.

Neville leaned back in his chair, picking at the edges of a biscuit. "Mmm hmm. Well, she saw...what Pansy wrote. She's not blind--yet," he added with a half smile. "And some of the other things people have said. I swear, she shouldn't have been allowed a journal in the first place, she never writes in it, I think she's just using it to judge me." The last bit was all rattled together, trying to help ease the tension that was bound to come of such a conversation.

It was kinda odd thinking about all the people simply reading and not writing, but Ernie didn't comment on that. Actually, he didn't comment on anything for a few moments. Finally, he leaned his chin into his hand, allowing Neville to see how crappy he actually felt. "Well isn't that lovely." For all Neville tried, nothing made Ernie feel better about knowing people were worrying after him.

No matter what Ernie thought, Neville's intent in telling him about Augusta's worries wasn't to make him feel better. Not exactly. He was trying to get him to open up, to tell him what, exactly, was going on. "Not really," he commented carefully. "It's pretty awful, actually. Because there, we get her side of the story, and it's not even a story, it's a declaration, and a right stupid one."

Ernie shrugged his shoulders, wishing he had just brushed Neville off. He was tired of trying to figure it all out. "I don't know. Maybe she's right. Maybe…I'm not a great person all the time."

Pushing his biscuit aside, Neville propped his chin in his hands, thinking carefully. He didn't want to scare Ernie off. Not when they were finally talking, one-on-one, outside of 'pass me the pruning shears'. "You don't have to be a great person all the time, though," he reasoned slowly. "You're allowed an off day like everyone else. What makes you the exception that you always have to be nice?"

Ernie looked at Neville miserably. "I'm Head Boy and a bloody Hufflepuff." He groaned. "And do you hear my mouth lately?" Exasperated, he pushed his glass far from him, allowing his head to drop in his arms. "Neville, I'm hiding in the kitchen. Can I sink any lower here?"

At that, Neville gave a small, encouraging smile. "Not hiding. You're with me." Though Ernie hadn't been taking his meals as regular, he didn't think. "What's going on? I mean, really. What's been said that's really so bad to drive you in here with a bunch of house elves and the boring Gryffindor?"

"You are not boring." Defending Neville came as natural as brushing his teeth for Ernie. He looked up, but didn't move his head from the cool counter surface. "I don't even know. Pansy was mad and then Teddy, er, Nott, tried to be nice and I blew him off for no reason and then Malfoy was trying to help even and…and, I'm horrible because I did it AGAIN!"

Ernie looked awfully pathetic resting there. It reminded Neville of himself, at times, or the way Harry looked lately. He reached out, then, touching Ernie's arm lightly. "So you've a temper. We knew that, mate, it was bound to come out sooner or later." Smiling a little, he shrugged. "I think everyone's allowed an outburst once in a while. That's what apologies are for."

"Apologies? I don't even know where to begin. I just…why is she so hacked off? I don't get it. I was trying! Am I really that horrid, Neville? You'd tell me, yes?" He glanced at the arm Neville patted. "Oh," he groaned, "I'm pathetic and Hannah would kill me if she saw. Then she'd yell. A lot."

"Oh, she would not," Neville brushed off with a shake of his head. "And you're not pathetic, not really. Just upset." Though he did kind of remind Neville of those moving picture things of blokes who'd drunk too much too often. "Look, you're not horrible. You and she apparently had...a misunderstanding?" He still didn't know the whole story. "But you're not horrible."

"She should. You should too." With a final grunt, Ernie hoisted himself back up. "Dad and Mum say I can stay home after hols are over."

At that, Neville took in a sharp breath. He hadn't expected that. He'd heard a rumour about it, but most people left Neville out of the more important gossip, and he hadn't heard anything since. "I...you...but...really? Are you?"

At that, Ernie looked away. "I feel an awful coward, but…yeah, I've been considering it."

"Well...well you would be, then," Neville blurted, not quite ditching the comforting air completely, but coming terribly close. "You'd just walk away? Honestly? You've got to be kidding."

Ernie winced. It sounded worse coming from someone else. "Walk away? Neville, I've tried! Last year I…and then this year…" He felt very much like crying, but didn't. Whatever one said of Hufflepuff, Ernie MacMillan wasn't a crier. "I'm not getting anywhere other than feeling like…like crap myself!"

"Then stand up for yourself!" Neville protested, feeling a bit hurt and scared himself, but not willing to let it show. At least not then. He didn't have very many people he'd consider a real friend around the school. Sure, he had some who now at least respected him due to his part in the war. But many still looked down on him or teased him and few treated him like a friend. Losing one of the few sounded like his own personal punishment. "You don't deserve to be kicked around by anyone, so don't take it! You don't have to be mean about it, but don't let them kick you around, either!"

Ernie stared at Neville with a mixture of surprise, resentment, and awe. It wasn't like Neville to act so fierce and Ernie didn't know whether to feel guilty or proud. "I…what am I supposed to say exactly? Make some sweeping entry about how I did my best and wish Pansy the best of luck in the future?"

"No," Neville admitted, slowly. "At least, not where everyone else can read it. You don't want to repeat her mistakes. But let her know that. Tell her you're sorry her feelings were hurt but so are yours and that...I don't know. If you want to try and make it work out, say so, otherwise, put it in her hands and turn away. There's no reason to feel like this if you don't want to."

Ernie couldn't even put into words all he felt about the week's events. It wasn't just about Pansy; it was about reconciling the past and present and seeing if there was a future. And that? Was scary. "I don't know, Nev." He rested a hand at the boy's back. "I'm glad you came though. We should do it again soon. I don't want to keep getting so busy that I lose my friends, you know?"

Feeling as if he'd just run a mile, Neville sighed and nodded. All that and it wasn't going to help. Ernie was going to leave feeling just as badly as when he'd gotten there. "Yeah," he said, a bit more quietly than he had his whole spiel. If Ernie left, they wouldn't be able to do it again, and then he really might lose him. "But--Ernie, just so you know? I really think you're looking at this wrong. I don't think you've lost the friends you think you have. Not yet, at least."

Ernie was tired of the conversation. He didn't know for sure, maybe, but there was a good chance. "Suppose not." He jumped off the stool, nodding a goodbye to the elves. "I really have some work to do, Nev."

Shaking his head, feeling as if he were watching Ernie walk away for the last time already, Neville sighed. "Alright," he replied, though not as good-naturedly as he usually would have. "I'll see you around, then."