Who: Justin and Ernie!
What: Justin is trying to study in the library. Mostly he's just freaking out.
Where: Library
When: Wednesday, after classes
Rating: PGish for now
Status: Completed!




Justin was trying to work on his assignment. He really was trying. There just wasn't much success as far as he could tell. All he could think of was his conversation with Ernie and the possibility that he might be joined by the other boy at some point during the evening. If he came, this would be the first real conversation between them since everything happened. And Justin had no idea what he was going to say.

Plucking slightly at the thick jumper he wore, Justin sighed and looked back down at his book. He had to finish this. If Ernie came, he came. If he didn't... Well, that was fine too. It was up to Ernie. Justin couldn't force the situation one way or another.

Ernie meant what he said to Justin. He hadn't stopped caring. It was his pitfall, really - the inability to get people out of his mind that is. Nonetheless, he wasn't quite sure what was propelling him to meet Justin. He hadn't exactly promised to see his housemate, but it felt necessary. Ernie knew Justin was getting sick far too often and looking tired. Still, he wasn't sure how any conversation would go. He hadn't forgotten his earlier feelings and only hoped they wouldn't get in the way of any possible progress. Hence, with a heavy heart, Ernie made his way into the room, spotting Justin quickly. He slipped over. "Hi," he whispered.

Justin looked up sharply when Ernie whispered his greeting, his mouth going dry. He came. He actually came. Justin swallowed quickly and forced an awkward smile onto his face. "Hi," he murmured. "You can sit. If you want. You don't have to if you don't want." God, he sounded ridiculous. "...I'm sorry."

Ernie hated the awkwardness. When had it happened? He knew all about growing up and growing apart, but, Helga, so suddenly? He didn't want that. But…Merlin, it was all so confusing and he just wanted his heart and brain to line up. He was still angry and hurt, but also just…tired. And lonely. "It's alright." He tried to laugh it off. "I mean it's just a seat, yeah?" A poor joke, but an attempt nonetheless.

Justin's smile turned a little less awkward at Ernie's attempt at a joke. Maybe this would be alright. As long as he didn't do something stupid to screw it all up again. "I'm glad you came. I could use a break from this essay." The essay that he hadn't really started, but that was beside the point. He was still glad Ernie came. "How, um. How are you?"

"As Head Boy, I should probably point out distractions are hardly a good thing." Ernie smiled, hoping it didn't look too phony or stupid. "What class?"

"Herbology," Justin replied, relaxing more the longer Ernie stayed. "It shouldn't be that difficult to finish. It's one of my best subjects, after all." And he wasn't sleeping all that much anyway, so he could work on it more tonight.

Ernie nodded. "True and if anything you can go beg Nev for help." He'd have normally reached over and shoved Justin's shoulder after such a joke, but it didn't seem right just then. "So...awkward, huh?" Might as well get it out there.

Justin nodded, ducking his head slightly. "Yeah, a bit."

Ernie's stomach flip-flopped as the silence filled the air between them. He glanced around, taking in the books and thinking about how ordinarily he adored sitting among them. Just then, however, he felt out of his element. "Yeah..." He started and stopped, unsure about so many of his own feelings. He couldn't quite put them into words, but there were there still bursting beneath the surface. "Yeah, it...it's rubbish really."

Justin picked at his quill, stomach fluttering uncomfortably. "...I don't want to be awkward with you anymore, Ernie," he whispered. "I miss you. A whole bloody lot. I really... I know we can't go back to the way it was, but I really wish we could, you know. Be friends again."

Ernie hated seeing the hurt in his friend's face. He despised the whole awful thing really, but…but it was just so hard. "I miss you too." That was the honest truth at least. "I do. I miss just talking and hanging out and...I just..." He swallowed hard, fully aware his heart was beating rapidly under his shirt. "You know it's hard for me when…when I think my mates don't want me around."

"I always want you around," Justin said quietly. "You're my best mate, Ernie. I know that I've done a rubbish job of showing it, but you are. You have been forever."

Ernie shrugged. "I don't think I'm in that spot, really, anymore. And maybe that's…alright? I mean it's not, but…" He searched for just the right words, his eyes attempting to meet and keep Justin's gaze. "But I'd rather have you in my life than not at all." He couldn't keep his eyes up anymore and allowed them to flutter down to his lap. Sure, the war and new laws were far more important than this stupid spat, but Ernie was a teenager, and thus, couldn't help still feeling that tug. Labels shouldn't matter, but they did then.

Justin bit his bottom lip, forcing himself to put his quill down before he tore it to shreds. “...I can have two best mates, can't I?" he asked awkwardly. "I mean... Yes, I'm really close to Zach. But that's... That's different and..." Oh. Oh. Switching gears without warning, Justin leaned forward in his seat. "Do you remember when we talked near the beginning of the year? And I told you that you'd be the first person to know if I thought I was gay? ...I might be. Gay."

Ernie almost laughed. It was the oddest confession he had heard in awhile. Not the content, of course, but the way Justin brought it up. "I...well, you did kiss the bloke, Justin." Ernie couldn't say he was shocked. He had been tossing the idea around in his mind ever since that very conversation Justin brought up. And perhaps Ernie could take being 'second' to a significant other. He certainly had to get used to it with Hannah, didn't he? "So...have you? I mean…told him?" Then, eyebrows rising, he asked, "Am I really the first to know?" It was hard to believe given the last weeks.

Justin flushed and ducked his head slightly. "Not... technically, I suppose. I told him that I like kissing him. ...He hasn't said anything about it since, so I'm just... Just waiting." He let out a sharp breath, shaking his head as he looked back over at Ernie. "...I'm being really pathetic, aren’t I?"

"Pathetic?" Ernie echoed. "What do you mean?"

"It.s just-" Justin sighed. "I told him after the Hogsmeade weekend. And we haven't talked about it since. I'm just sitting and waiting and feeling like an idiot because I'm too bloody scared to bring it up."

Ernie bit his lip. He couldn't lie and say it felt comfortable talking about Justin's love life with a fellow bloke (especially Zach!), but he reminded himself the boy was still Justin. "Zach...I bet he's scared." Oh, Helga, that made him sound all psychological and irritating and that's probably why everyone thought he was boring and uptight…

"You think?" Justin asked, wrinkling his nose slightly. Honestly, he couldn't imaging Zach being afraid of anything. "...Do you think I should try talking to him, though? Or should I just...keep waiting?"

Actually amused now, Ernie asked, "Is waiting helping anything?"

Justin scratched his head. "Not really. 's just making me nervous."

"Hmmm." Ernie leaned back in his chair, smirking in a very know it all manner.

Justin eyed Ernie for a moment, then frowned. "You're doing that thing, aren't you? Where you tell me what you think but you make me make my own decision so you're not just telling me what to do?"

Ernie rolled his eyes, but a smile slipped out. "Honestly, Justin, I've no idea what you are on about now."

Yes he did. And Justin knew he did. He eyed him for a moment longer before smiling brightly and shaking his head gently. "You prat."

"And yet you missed me."

"Yeah," Justin murmured, smile softening. He thought about it for a moment, then pushed himself out of his chair, wrapping his arms around Ernie in a warm hug. Yeah, he'd definitely missed him.

"Oy, Justin, the hugging." Sighing, Ernie relented. "Yeah, yeah."

"I like hugging," Justin mumbled stubbornly. "And I haven't hugged you in forever. You can stand it for a minute or two."

"And those two minutes are up!" Ernie laughed, but allowed Justin a slight squeeze before releasing. Just to placate him, of course.

Justin smiled, releasing Ernie and sitting back in his chair. He'd allow himself to be placated. For now. "Hey, so. ...Can we sit together at the next match? It was really bloody weird without you."

"And drove poor Wayne bonkers." Ernie pulled a face, but also chuckled. "That bloke does make himself crazy on a regular basis though so I'd say it wasn't all our faults!"

Justin made a face of his own, shaking his head. "That was... That was bad. I was a complete prat."

"No, he just...misunderstood what I meant. I wanted him to go with you and...yeah, we all wound up alone. Well, sorta. Sorry about that." He grimaced, thinking how childish it all had been.

"No, really, I was a huge prat. ...I"m sorry too," Justin murmured.

"Let's just..." Ernie held his arms up, palms out, "Agree that we both did some stupid things."

Justin nodded, giving Ernie a cautious smile. "...Thank you for giving me another chance."

"I can't help it! I'm a gosh darn Hufflepuff!" This time, Ernie really did lean over and playfully punch his mate's arm though.

Justin laughed, swatting back at Ernie. Thank Merlin they could finally get back to this point.

Thank Merlin indeed. Ernie wasn't sure he could go through the rest of the year like they had been. "Sooo...what do you say we go kidnap the rest and let them see we aren't going to kill each other. I think Wayne would like to come out from under the bed and all."

"That sounds brilliant," Justin replied, grinning. He could work on Herbology later. This was way more important.