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Sally A. Perks ([info]nullisecundus) wrote in [info]resurrectio_rpg,
@ 2008-05-10 22:00:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Who: Sally-Anne and Open to anyone willing to comfort a drunk, crying Slytherin.
What: Lani is freaking out after hearing that her sister is dead.
Where: Near the Lake
When: Saturday evening.
Rating: R, for swears, mention of death/suicide
Incomplete

Sally-Anne was having extreme difficulty keeping herself from crying as she all but stumbled her way outside the castle and onto the grounds. She was shaking, one hand gripping her journal tightly to her chest over the strap of her bag while the other clutched at the bag resting on her hip. Her grasp was tight and more an attempt to keep the bottle of firewhiskey from somehow falling loose and breaking on the ground than anything. Her vision was blurred by the tears threatening to fall, but she adamantly told herself that Perks do not cry, not even when their sisters die. It sounded false, even to her, and nearing the same tree she had once spoke with Mandy Brocklehurst under she all but fell to the ground.

Hardly wincing at the pain in her knees, especially the left since it seemed she had landed on a sharp rock embedded in the grass, Sally-Anne couldn't contain herself any longer. Her tears fell forth like water bursting from a dam. A tightening occurred in her chest, and she found that breathing was becoming more and more difficult. The journal dropped to the ground at the same moment that her first sob escaped her. A shaky hand dug into her bag, retrieving the bottle of firewhiskey and the moment it was uncapped, Sally-Anne brought it to her lips. The burn of it didn't bother her. Her mind was far from being present.

Not more than twenty minutes before Sally-Anne had returned to her dormitory to find her Aunt's owl waiting for her with a letter. The letter was short, but very clear. Elizabeth, Sally-Anne's eldest sister was dead and it had not had anything to do with her health issues. At first Sally-Anne had stared in disbelief at the letter, not wanting to believe it was true but then every letter she had recieved over the past few weeks came to her mind. Dora had said over and over that Elizabeth's behavior had been scaring her, that she'd become obsessed with her own death and that she'd become a different person. Luckily, the girls' dormitory was empty except for her.

The panic set in slowly. She'd sat on her bed staring blankly at the wall, then the letter had dropped from her hand onto her bed. Belinda, her cat, meowed and broke Sally-Anne's trance and then she felt her heart begin to beat faster. The room suddenly felt too small for her, and she'd nearly fell on the floor in her hurry to find the bottle of firewhiskey buried in her trunk. Too many thoughts were racing through her mind, and she just wanted something to take it away. Firewhiskey seemed a brilliant idea. Until she'd taken three or so long swigs. Then she just felt dizzy, confused, scared and trapped. That's when the idea of leaving the castle altogether came to mind. After scribbling a poorly hexed journal entry, Sally-Anne shoved a quill, ink, and the bottle of firewhiskey into her bag.

She'd ignored everyone in the commonroom, somehow managing to keep her emotions off her face. Now, sitting beneath the tree, she was trembling and it had nothing to do with the slight chill to the air. Her tears fell continuosly and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop the awful sounds she was making. She continued to tell herself that it wasn't true, biting her lip so hard that she made it bleed. It did nothing to alleviate the sick feeling in her stomach and in her present state a forest troll could have trudged past her and she wouldn't have noticed, but somewhere in the back of her mind she desperately wished that someone would come, even a troll.


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[info]susieb
2008-05-12 08:56 am UTC (link)
Susan had been reading her journal, as she did every night before she went to bed. There was Zach's entry, that was rather upbeat and happy. Apparently he wanted to have a party, which she thought was a fun and cool idea. It was a change from the atmosphere that had settled on the school so far. After scribbling something back to him she went back to reading the other entries.

Her eyes were then drawn to one by her good mate Sally-Anne. She seemed very very upset and the handwriting was very illegible. Susan knew something was wrong and finally figured out what after she read Miles' journal entry. She knew from Sally-Anna about her sister's condition and felt so horrible for her. She knew the pain one felt when losing a family member, since she went threw it when her Aunt Amelia died.

She knew she had to be there for her. So she decided to risk getting a detention for being out of the common room after hours. She grabbed her school robes and tiptoed out out of the common room. Susan looked all over the castle for a good half hour before deciding to try the grounds. Once outside she could hear crying and ran to where the cries were coming from. She dropped down on the ground beside Sally-Anne and wrapped her arms around her Slytherin friend. "I am so sorry. I read what happened from Miles. I know the pain you feel when losing a family member."She told her soothingly, running her hand up and down her friend's side. She could feel her friend trembling beneath her arms.

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[info]nullisecundus
2008-05-12 04:27 pm UTC (link)
The contact surprised Sally-Anne completely. At first she tried to move away, her heart beating faster. She just wasn't used to be touched. Miles, Marley and Dora were the only ones who ever hugged her and she knew that none of them could be here. Immediately she tried to stop crying, but it didn't work, and though she couldn't tell at the moment who was holding her, she sank into them, pressing her face into their shoulder as her arms wrapped around them. They sat like that for several minutes, with Sally-Anne crying uncontrollably until she was able to calm herself and pull away. She kept one hand on the side of the person who had come to her, while the other wiped at her face, pushing the hair out of her eyes.

She was surprised, but grateful to see that it was Susan Bones. Sally-Anne tried to smile, but she couldn't and more tears began to fall onto her face, so she looked away, and pulled away. Her warms wrapped around her stomach, breaking all contact with Susan. Vaguely Sally-Anne remembered hearing Susan's voice, but she couldn't recall what had been said. "Susan." She said, very softly, but didn't continue. She felt sick, and she was shaking. The cold seemed suddenly more intense and on impulse Sally-Anne grasped at the firewhiskey bottle, uncapped it and drank. Then, in a fit of frustration and sorrow, she threw the bottle at the nearby tree, humming a little noise as it crashed and broke against it.

Becoming aware of Susan's presence, Sally-Anne turned back to look at her, her eyes filled with pain. "How'd you fin' me?" She asked, her words far more slurred than the usual careful way she usually spoke.

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[info]susieb
2008-05-12 04:55 pm UTC (link)
Susan felt horrible for her mate. She knew how she was when she found out her Aunt died. She had been spending time with Ernie and Justin and collapsed into tears and sobs. She didn't stop crying for days and weeks. So she knew that this had to be hard. Susan needed people to hold her and sooth her then and she figured Sally-Anne would be the same.

At first she felt her pull away and Susan let her just so she could see that it was her. Susan's heart broke seeing Sally-Anne like that. She wiped some of her tears away as Sally-Anne wrapped her arms around herself. "I read your entry and then Miles' entry. I just looked all over the castle and you were not there. So I tried the grounds. I heard your crying and followed it here. I couldn't bare to leave you alone. I know how it is to lose a family member. I went threw it with my Aunt. I know how much I wanted someone to be there for me. I thought you would feel the same." She told her in a soothing way. Susan sighed when the other girl took out the firewhiskey bottle. She winced as she heard the bottle break.

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[info]nullisecundus
2008-05-13 03:00 am UTC (link)
It was very hard for Sally-Anne to concentrate on what Susan was saying. Her mind was racing. A very strong part of her mind told Sally-Anne to tell Susan what had really happened with her sister, and it was just too much for Sally-Anne then. The tears, the sobs, the pain came rushing over her even more strongly and she leaned forward, grasping Susans forearms in her hands. Looking up at Susan, through her tears, Sally-Anne cried, "I don't wan' i' to be true. I don't want 'er to 'ave died."

Sally-Anne released Susan's arms and was on her feet in a second. She was unsteady, but her face looked focused, even as tears fall onto her cheeks. Sniffling slightly, Sally-Anne took a step toward the lake. It looked like a large looming hole. Then, quite quickly, Sally-Anne was at the edge of it. She looked back at Susan with a surprisingly calm expression on her face, though the pain was evident in her eyes. "Wha' if I did wha' she did?" Sally-Anne asked, her voice sounding odd. "Wha' if I jump in an let myself drown?"

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[info]susieb
2008-05-13 01:36 pm UTC (link)
Susan's heart kept breaking as Sally-Anne cried and sobbed right next to her. Susan wanted to hold her, but thought twice since Sally-Anne was not as affectionate as she was. Sally-Anne then grasped her forearms, a little too tightly, but Susan didn't bring it up.

Susan got tears in her eyes at her friends words, "I know it is painful. I was in denial for months after my Aunt died. I wouldn't talk to anyone besides Ernie, Justin, Hannah and Zach. It will be hard, but you will come out of this. You will never forget her. Just remember her memory and live your life. I will be here for you, whenever you need me. Just ask."

She was then taken aback when Sally-Anne jumped up to her feet. She just sat there in a confused state as Sally-Anne walked towards the lake. Susan then sensed something was a bit off when she got really close to the edge. Then at Sally-Anne's words she jumped to her feet and rushed to Sally-Anne's side, trying not to alarm her or touch her. Susan was in shock and felt tears streaming down her face. "Please don't do that. There are so many people who love you so much. Please think of them before you think of doing something like that. Zach, me, all your other friends, your sister. Please just take my hand and step away, okay?" Susan asked, holding her hand out, her eyes desperate, tears falling down.

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[info]nullisecundus
2008-05-13 02:12 pm UTC (link)
Susan's words barely sank into Sally-Anne, but one did: love. She knelt down beside the lake, touched the surface of it with her hand and then looked up at the sky. When she spoke, her voice was thick with pain. "Love?" She asked, feeling yet more tears fall onto her cheeks. Slowly she got to her feet, walked past Susan and then sat down beneath the tree agian. Her eyes had a faraway look in them. It seemed as if she weren't really there, but then she looked at Susan. "I haven't got anyone that loves me besides my mum and Miles and Dora, and mum's in Azkaban."

It looked like she wanted to say more but she stopped. She stared at the ground, her fingers picking at the grass, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed quietly. Finally, she looked up at Susan and whispered, "They only love me because they have to. Elizabeth never did, but I loved her. I did." Her voice sounded desperate. She was trying to convince herself that she had loved her sister, Elizabeth before she'd died. She was failing miserably at convincing herself.

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[info]susieb
2008-05-13 02:40 pm UTC (link)
Susan's heart was racing as Sally-Anne knelt down and touched the water. She was worried that she would just let herself fall in or do something else dangerous. She wished and hoped that she would just take her hand and reconsider.

Susan then nodded, "Yes love. You are my friend! I love my friends. Please don't do this. Zach loves you. I love you. Don't do this." Susan replied back, as her tears fell. She then breathed a sigh of relief when she walked away from the lake. She dropped her head, her chest pounding. Susan finally collected herself and went over to where Sally-Anne was. "You have lots of other people who love you, Zach and I for starters."

"I love you because I want to. No making me do anything. You have Zach and he would not be your friend if he did not love you or care about you. You know how Zach is!" she said, trying to crack a small minute joke. "Elizabeth loved you, even if she never showed it. I am sure you loved her . You cared a lot about her."

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[info]nullisecundus
2008-05-13 02:53 pm UTC (link)
"No," Sally-Anne said loudly, shaking her head. "She didn't love me. She didn't love any of us." She was sure of that. Looking into Susan's eyes she said, very softly, "She killed herself. What kind of a person does that to people they love?" She asked, and her eyes were searching. She desperately wanted to know the answer to that question.

"Zach barely knows me, and you too. And that's not very many people, is it? What if you grew to know me and realized I'm not worth it? Just like my aunt says." Sally-Anne cried, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her face in her arms, folded over them. Her voice was muffled as she said, "My aunt says for me to just stop pretending." She went silent for a while.

When she lifted her head, her face was wet but she wasn't crying anymore. "I'm sorry I scared you. I would never do what she did."

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[info]susieb
2008-05-13 07:49 pm UTC (link)
Susan didn't know what to say to Sally-Anne. She felt horrible for her and hoped that her words were doing some good. Susan was taken aback by now loud she replied to her. "Okay okay. Please don't yell. Doing that is a very selfish action, I agree. I just..I don't know what to say in reply to that but she apparently was really troubled." Susan said, feeling very daft and not knowing if her words were helping or just falling on deaf ears.

"But we want to know more. I want to know more. You are worth it! Do not say you are not. The more I learn about you, the more I like you. I would not be here if I didn't. I don't care what your Aunt says. You are very much worth it!!"Susan said quite sternly, wanting her to believe what she was saying. Susan's face was soft and caring, "I am just glad you didn't. I do not want to lose you."

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[info]nullisecundus
2008-05-13 08:25 pm UTC (link)
She was only half listening to Susan now, her eyes fixed on the lake, a determined look in her eyes. A very poorly formed plan was forming in her mind that involved looking up some form of spell to awake the dead. Then, it seemed as if Susan wasn't there at all, but that a small voice was speaking in the back of her head that sounded strangely Susan like. With a heavy sigh Sally-Anne let herself fall back onto the grass, her eyes closing tightly though she immediately regretted it when her entire world began to spin. With a tortured groan she sat up, feeling as if she were about to wretch. Her eyes locked on Susan and she frowned. "What are you doing here?" She asked, completely confused. Then with a blink, she realized, or rather remembered, and she sighed again, even more heavily.

"You shouldn't be here." She said, letting herself fall onto her back again. Her tears were renewed for just a second and then she sprang back up into a seated position.

"Did you take my firewhiskey?" Sally-Anne asked in a whisper. "It's Elizabeth's. She'll be rather mad." Though she was still devestated, it seemed that for some reason she had automatically chosen to begin forgetting what had happened. Firewhiskey was mostly to blame.

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[info]susieb
2008-05-14 09:20 am UTC (link)
One moment everything was relatively normal, then the next moment she found Sally-Anne acting very odd. It started to alarm her when she acted as if she just got here and had not been talking to her for the past hour. Susan looked very alarmed and bit he lip. "I have been here for the past hour. You don't remember?" She asked in a very concerned and worried tone. Susan was growing increasingly concerned for the Slytherin girl and felt useless at this moment.

She shook her head, putting her hand over Sally-Anne's, "I want to be here. You are my friend and you seemed like you needed someone and I came. I will deal with any repercussions for being out."

Susan then shook her head, "No. You threw it and broke the bottle. Elizabeth's? Sally-Anne, I think you need to get inside and sleep some before you leave, yeah?" Susan suggested to her, hoping she would let her take her back to her common room.

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[info]nullisecundus
2008-05-14 10:09 am UTC (link)
Sally-Anne sighed and looked at Susan. "So's not a bad dream then?" She mumbled. "Figured you weren't really here?" She began muttering to herself very softly, her face turning down in a frown. At least, it seemed that she had run out of tears, though her sanity was definitely in question at the momemt.

"I do not want to go to sleep." Sally-Anne said suddenly, shaking her head. "I don't want to go home or back inside that stupid castle." Then, against Sally-Anne's wishes her eyes began to fill with tears again but they didn't spill. "Just want it to go away."

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[info]susieb
2008-05-14 03:03 pm UTC (link)
Susan was now very confused and getting more worried the more Sally-Anne kept talking. She wished that Justin or Zach was here with her. This was a lot for her to handle right now, but she was doing her best. She shook her head, "No, this is all really happening sadly enough. Of course I am really here. Why would I not be." Susan said softly, her voice full of concern and worry.

Susan then jumped back slightly at Sally-Anne's sudden reply. "I know this is hard, believe me I know. But, I am worried about you right now. You need to rest or something."

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[info]nullisecundus
2008-05-14 09:49 pm UTC (link)
The world was still spinning for Sally-Anne but she seemed to have come back to her drunken senses. With wide eyes Sally-Anne turned to Susan, her chin quivering slightly before she began to speak. "I'm scared to go back there and sleep alone." Swallowing hard, Sally-Anne tried to get to her feet quickly, as if to leave the situation but she was unsteady and wound up on her knees. She started crying again, and felt badly that she was worrying Susan. Hugging herself, Sally-Anne sat back down and shook her head repeadetly.

"I don't want to go there and sleep alone. They're not like you Susan. They won't know what to do with me." She paused and sighed in frustration. "They won't know what to say to keep her out of my dreams."

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