draco/pansy
WHO: Draco Malfoy & Pansy Parkinson WHAT: Surprises and proposals of sorts. WHERE: The Manor RATING: PG STATUS: DONE
One month you could probably blame a change in diet or exercise. Two months, stress maybe. She had been under a bit much with work and all. But three months? Three she couldn't excuse as much of anything. And neither, she discovered to her dismay, could the Medi-Witch she finally saw.
Of course, Pansy had known it was possible. She was just as educated as anyone else her age. More so in some ways. But she'd always been so careful. Why now? Why after all this time would anything change? And if the Medi-Witch had calculated right, it had been... Well, Merlin's baggy trousers, that might explain it, wouldn't it? She was a featherweight drinker, all of her friends knew it. Draco being no exception. Charms she'd been doing for years probably weakened considerably.
And that, most likely, included a contraception charm.
Dammit. Her mother was going to skin her alive. To say nothing of what her father would say. And the Malfoys still not being entirely back in the good graces of wizard society, her parents wouldn't exactly be pleased with the father, either. But that? Pansy couldn't care less about. She loved him, whether he really felt the same or not. And she was about to find out for certain one way or the other. Because there was no way he was going to accept this if he didn't. And even if he did love her, too, well...it would be difficult. She understood that. Even she wasn't thrilled.
She arrived at Malfoy Manor, hesitantly stepping out of the floo, wringing her hands in a nervous gesture. "Draco?" she called, but quietly. He was expecting her, but she was also a bit early. Not entirely her fault. Nervous energy made her faster than usual these days. "Mrs. Malfoy?" Oh, she didn't want to face Draco's mother just then. She was going to be so disappointed.
Draco hated surprises since none of them had turned out good in recent history. However, hearing Pansy's voice earlier than expected was a good one. He had been freshening himself up a bit, but had just stepped out to grab a drink of water when the elves notified him of a visitor. He had worried it was some official seeking to look over the Manor yet again so he was quite relieved it was only his...his what exactly? "Friend" didn't seem to describe the pair, but neither had said it was official either. What if that night in Paris was just that? A night in Paris? Draco didn't know much then, but he did know he didn't want that to be the case. He didn't know why he felt the way he did, but Pansy meant something to him. He had fought it for so long since it seemed too "neat" to fall for the girl his parents wanted and then the war happened...
Still, he hadn't told her. He wasn't what she needed. Or deserved. Perhaps he should finally set them free? Break the old habit?
He frowned as those thoughts fluttered through his brain. Where had they even come from? That had no been his intent for the evening. Sighing, he pushed the door open. "Pansy," he greeted with a polite nod though he would have rather swept her into a kiss. "How are you today?"
Did he have to be so formal? They were...well, she didn't really know what they were, but surely they were past all of that? A hug might've been nice. Or taking her hand or something. Anything. It had been ages since that night, but... Oh, Merlin.
Instead of arguing about it, she merely gave a small smile. After all, what she had to tell him now went far beyond the "are we boyfriend and girlfriend?" speech. "Hullo," she said quietly, reverting to the more casual speech she used around her muggle customers. Odd as that was. But she was comfortable around them. No expectations, not like here in the huge manor that even the limitations of their government couldn't completely cease. "I'm... Alright," she lied. "What have you been doing? You look nice."
Despite resolving to end their on and off again relationship only moments earlier, Draco grinned. He had worked extra hard to look nice for her. He wore his favorite blue robes and his hair had been freshly cut. He was clean shaven and smelled of the warm scent he had picked on their trip. "So do you," he began, but then paused. She didn't look nice. Well, she always looked pretty, but then she seemed...worried? "Are you alright, Pansy?" Oh, Salazar, she was going to break it off first. He just knew it.
"No." She didn't even try and hide it. Why lead him on? Maybe he'd want nothing to do with her now. Nothing to do with...with either of them. That was a horrifying thought. Well, fine then. She'd grown used to the muggle world. Maybe she'd run away, make a living for herself somewhere else. Her Spanish was brilliant, her French was good, her German was strong, she could go anywhere she wanted. "I... Draco, maybe we should sit down," she suggested, gnawing a bit on her lower lip, marring carefully applied lipstick.
She was chewing her lip, a sure sign something was wrong. Well, hell, if she was going to break if off first, he wasn't going to sit for it! She'd say it and then she could just leave. No pleasantries necessary. "Whatever you have to say," he said firmly, "You can say with me standing." Feeling put off, he unconsciously puffed out his chest. "I'll spare you. It's done and over with. You are free. Go find whoever he is."
Well that hadn't been what she'd expected at all! Pansy's mouth dropped open and she glared at him through narrowed eyes. "Are you... Wait, are you serious?" she practically spat, torn between hurt and rage. "Whoever he is? For Salazar's sake, Draco, you've been the only one for years!" Was she yelling? Ooh, she might be yelling. The parents wouldn't like that a bit. Of course, they also wouldn't like what she had to tell him one bit, either.
"Well, you don't need to yell!" Draco snapped. He felt somewhat ridiculous for his accusation as she stood there glaring at him like that, but, really, what other news needed him to sit? If someone was hurt, she'd have said it already, right? However, after a beat, he smiled. "The only one, aye?" He moved closer, reaching out to touch her cheek. "Then what's wrong?"
Impossibly, desperately, she leaned into the touch, her eyes closing. "I... Draco, I'm so sorry. I don't know how it happened." Well, okay, technically she knew how it happened. She remembered it clearly, even if the wine had made things a tiny bit fuzzy. But it had been nice. Time with him always was. "It's not someone else. Merlin, no, it could never be someone else. I... I meant what I said." He was so impossible sometimes. Ready to ship her off one moment and cuddling her the next.
His reactions to her were unexplainable, but Draco knew what he felt and there was a piece of him that could never let go of Pansy, even if she wanted it which he was grateful to hear was not the case. "Then...what is it?" He repeated. He pulled her close, all thoughts of ending things flying from his mind. "Surely it can't be that bad? What have you to be sorry for?" He thought over her words. "You don't know how it happened? What? Did you...with another bloke?" What if she had? They hadn't technically committed...
Pansy gave a wry laugh at that. "No, hardly. It's a little more permanent than that." Stepping back, she moved over to the first chair she saw, sinking into it. This house wasn't ever going to be the same again, was it? "It's... No, there's no one else. Not for me. Well, there is someone else. Not a bloke or anything. Just..." Now she wasn't even making sense and she was probably just worrying him more. "Draco, do you remember...well, that night in Paris?" Heh. That was one way to put it.
Draco watched her collapse into the chair with concern. Was she ill? "Do you need something to drink, love? A bite maybe? You look peakish." He kneeled next to her, his grey eyes filled with worry. "Is it your mother? Is she angry? Did you tell her about that night?"
She couldn't help it. She had to laugh. Reaching out, she rested her hand on his cheek, her fingertips stroking soft skin. He was too sweet for this. "Draco, do you really think I'd tell Mother I was drunkenly shagging the Malfoys' little boy?" Leaning down, she impulsively kissed his forehead. "No, you git. I..." Oh, Draco. Her beautiful Draco. "No, it was...the alcohol. I couldn't... I did it wrong, I guess." Swallowing hard, she leaned back, avoiding those perfect eyes. "I'm...well...pregnant." The words were whispered, barely audible, but she was finally able to speak them out loud.
She spoke so softly, Draco could barely hear her. "I am sorry, love, I thought you said you were pregnant?" He laughed, but when he saw the look in her eyes, he knew the truth. "Oh...Merlin. You...you are having...we're having..." He felt rather sick to his stomach, but took a deep breath to settle it. He needed to be strong for her. "I am sorry," he said finally. "I didn't mean..."
As miserable as she was, she couldn't help the tiny gleam that ran through her. He'd called her 'love'. Little victories. "No, I'm sorry. I messed up. I...I thought it might just be a scare. You know. But...I got checked out today. I thought you should know now. So...you know. Any plans or anything." Like making a run for it.
Plans. Right. They needed plans. Images of ducks and nappies flooded his vision, causing Draco to blink several times. "They're going to kill us," he announced, but then snickered. "We're having a...and here I am still worried about my parents?" Not to mention Kaleigh...oh, they were in so much trouble. He stood up to pace. "It will be alright. I mean...we'll be fine. We'll have the baby and we have some gold to use if they won't keep us at the Manor..." He started to rattle off ideas to keep himself from thinking about the reality of being a father.
For a moment, Pansy merely watched him pace. This was crazy. They shouldn't even be thinking about it. "Draco... Draco, calm down, okay? We don't have to do this. You don't, at all, not if you don't want to. And...and there are other options, you know. We don't...have to."
Draco stopped cold. Did she mean...did she want...she couldn't... "You don't want to have my baby? Our baby?"
Was he kidding? "Draco, we shouldn't even be having a baby! We're not... I mean, you and I..." He hadn't even asked her to dinner or anything since that night! Didn't that count for something? And yet... Was it wrong that she did almost sort of want this? She'd been thinking about it since she was a little girl. True, she usually imagined the big giant wedding with Daphne as her maid of honor before starting their family. But a little one, of hers and Draco's?
"But we are!" It seemed very simple to Draco. No, they hadn't planned it and, yes, they were young, but they were still having a baby. Granted, it wasn't his body so he wasn't grasping it quite as well as Pansy, but still. "You said there was no one else!" She had lied. There was someone else and she didn't want to have his baby because of that someone else. "Well, then fine! But you can't just give up our baby for the stupid bastard!"
"You're an idiot," she said simply. Not hormones. Just Pansy being Pansy. "Draco Malfoy, I've loved you since I was seven years-old. I once pushed Daphne off a swing set for saying she was going to marry you. That? Has never been the question."
Despite the circumstances, Draco smirked again. "I knew that was why you did it," he said smugly. "Same reason I hexed Blaise first year." He lifted his chin, looking very much Lucius. "Then what's the issue?"
Pansy tucked her hair behind her ears, almost shy in the gesture. So he had fought for her. "The issue is, we're barely even legal adults. We have tiny, entry level jobs, we both still live with our parents, and... And we're not even dating, for one thing." There. She'd said it. Her baby deserved its father, but Pansy herself deserved him, too. Right?
"I have plenty of gold! Not as much as before, but plenty! And I have my job which will just get better and..." He stopped, nearly breathless. "We're having a baby. That's even better, isn't it?"
Oh, he was cute when he acted like he was still twelve, with no responsibilities. "You're talking about raising a baby, love. A real live human being. We're responsible for it, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. No holidays, no vacations, especially not if my parents act like I think they will." And no, having a baby wasn't enough. A lot of people, none that she knew, but a lot of them had babies with people they weren't 'with'. She wanted both.
"We can hire help," Draco insisted. "And...I don't care! I can do it...we can do it!" He went back to her, taking her hands in his. "I love you. I really love you. I think that is why this happened...to show me I never want to lose you." His hand floated to her face. "During the war, I thought I was going to die, Pansy. Now...now I have a chance. Please?"
Okay, maybe there were a few hormones working against her. Tears sprang to her eyes, clinging to her eyelashes though she refused to let them fall. "You really want this?" she whispered, reaching up to brush her thumb over his lower lip. They'd have to tell everyone. Their parents, of course, but others, too. His aunt and Teddy, of course. Her employers, who'd find out soon enough from the tiny bump that she feared was already growing under her robes and harder still to hide under muggle clothing. Daphne and Tracey and probably Millicent, too. Blaise... Merlin. Having a baby was complicated before they even got there. There were nurseries to consider, a home... "You'll never lose me. You have to know that by now. You pushed and pulled and I'm still here. Always."
Did he want to be a parent at 19? Not exactly. However, he meant what he said. It was something thrilling and more important than he; it was something to live for. Draco felt more alive than he had in ages and the thought of not having his baby after knowing he or she existed stung. He didn't want to lose the baby or Pansy. "Oh, this should be so much more romantic," Draco whined. "I'll set it up better next time, I swear, but for now just know...you and the baby? I'll do anything for. We're a family now."
"Next time?" Pansy asked, lifting delicate eyebrows in amusement. "Next time I come to you whining that we screwed up and have to deal with it? I don't know that there's any way to make that romantic." Besides, he had no idea just how romantic his words actually were. He wanted them both. "It's not going to be easy, love, you have to know that."
Draco rolled his eyes as he rocked back on his heels to peer up at Pansy. "I rather meant the next time I ask you to be part of my family." His trade-mark sneer reappeared though it quickly dissolved into a genuine smile. "Will you? I know I'm not what you deserve...what, with being...well, uh, one of them, but...I swear I'll never make a mistake like that again if you say yes."
For a moment, Pansy only blinked. Was he... No. No, it didn't really sound like it. Only it sort of did. "Okay, first of all? I've told you, that wasn't your fault and I'll never hold it against you so stop saying that. And secondly..." She blinked one more time. "Did you just ask me to marry you?"
"Either that or I just asked you to live in sin with me for the rest of our lives." Despite his flippant words, Draco's heart pounded. He could practically hear his mother screeching that he was too young, but so what? Since the war's end, Draco felt way older and who else would ever understand that other than Pansy? It was perfect. Or it could be anyway. He was determined to make one thing in his life go right.
Pansy's smile turned mischievous at that. She reached down, taking one of Draco's hands in hers. "Oh, our mothers would just love that one. I can see them discussing it at those huge gatherings Blaise's mother sometimes has. 'Oh, our children? Um, right, they really are married, honest they are, they just kept it all so very secret! For the baby, you know'." Well. If that didn't put it in perspective. Saying it out loud... The baby. Their baby. "Draco, we don't have to. It's not...completely unheard of, anymore, for a mother and a father to raise their child or children separately. We don't... I mean, don't feel like you have to do this to make an honest woman out of me or something." Because as she'd told him a dozen times before, she would be no one's trophy wife.
Even if the woman expecting his baby had been someone else, Draco would have insisted on asking for her hand. However, his heart wouldn't have been in it like it was in that moment. He loved Pansy and he had most of his life, even before he admitted it to himself. The baby was just proof of his affection; if Draco believed in Heaven, he would have believed it was a sign from above. "I want to marry you, Pansy. I always have. I just didn't know it." He let his hand find her belly. "I know you had other plans, Pans, but...our baby is in there. Maybe this will be the best thing to ever happen to either of us?"
Taking in a deep breath, she smiled down at his hand, then covered it with her own. Their baby. They could give it everything neither of them had ever had. Oh, sure, they'd been spoiled well enough. But so many parts of their lives had been laid out for them. Even each other, even if that had turned out for the best. "I can still make good on most of those plans," she told him, a haughty air to her voice. "We'll have the most cultured little boy or girl around. I'll have him speaking French by the time he's two."
"Draco!" Pansy scolded, swatting at his thigh with her hand, though she was laughing. How could she not? "That's so very much not what I meant! I'll start with Italian, then, if that's what his bawdy father's going to go around saying!" With a giggle, she leaned her head against him. Far more comfortable than that old armchair. "He'll travel and try new foods and learn all sorts of traditions. He's going to be a genius, you know."
"With Malfoy and Parkinson genes?" Draco made a clucking sound with his tongue. "Naturally. He'll be in Slytherin and put all the other children to shame." A slow grin spread. "And the best thing? There's no way any Potter will be there with him. Or her. Either or."
Pansy rolled her eyes, making the gesture almost look pretty with the smile that accompanied it. "And what makes you so sure about that, hmm? If he and Weasley got back together..." Her nose wrinkled at the thought, but it was possible. "Or maybe," she added with a scandalous giggle, "he's been seeing someone behind everyone's backs. Trying to play the tormented hero and 'burying' his sorrows in someone. If you know what I mean!" Now who was being bawdy?
Draco's nose wrinkled at the mere thought. "Gross, Pansy. My stomach can't handle the insinuation..." He held a hand up. "Let's not ruin the night talking about him." Potter had haunted enough of what should have been glorious moments for Draco; he wasn't getting the present one.
Still, Pansy smiled mischievously, looking up at Draco with an innocent smile. "What, you think we're the only ones who've...had fun?" she teased, but she rose up on her knee to kiss his cheek. "I'm the lucky one, you know that?"
But Draco shook his head. He was the lucky one. He wasn't in Azkaban or dead. He still had gold. And most importantly? He had a family.