InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "you're great"

D. Malfoy (formerprince) wrote in resurrectio_rpg,
@ 2008-12-06 22:58:00

Current mood:

moody

WHO: Draco Malfoy and Severus Snape
WHAT: Repercussions after last night's entry.
WHERE: The Potions classroom.
WHEN: afternoon, May 6, 1998
RATING: PG
STATUS: Complete

It was no surprise that Severus Snape had demanded an apology from his godson and his student, and it was little further surprise that Draco was not inclined to give said apology.

It took less than twenty-four hours for the repercussions to be felt. They had started at the morning breakfast table, where he had endured not one but several stares. Teddy’s suspiciously icy disregard meant that his cousin was infuriated, and that attitude was mirrored in the cold black eyes gazing at him from the professors’ table. Both he would have to confront at some point, except Draco was in no mood to hear a lecture or deal with how irresponsible he’d been.

He escaped up until the very end of Potions, when a sharply worded command bid him stay behind at his station. Draco exhaled, flicking his wand to dampen the flame under his cauldron. His classmates left the classroom in bunches, escaping in twos and threes from what he would have to endure. Some would argue he’d brought it upon himself.

“Yes, Professor?” he queried, his own voice possessing a detached quality.

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professor_snape
2008-12-06 10:26 pm UTC (link)

Severus didn't like being disrespected which was something his godson well knew. However, he had been too angry to properly deal with the recalcitrant young man until then. He was also partly worried which just made Severus madder. Hadn't they made strides? What had happened. "To me," Severus said simply. He sat at his desk, shuffling papers. He liked to keep his students waiting. It gave them proper time to think over what their naughtiness earned.

It was funny almost. When Draco was a mere boy, Severus had also disciplined from time to time though he preferred to hand the child to his father whenever possible. With Draco, Snape had no desire to play the role of disciplinarian for the boy was about as close to a son as he was ever getting. He didn't have the family tie to him and some small part feared losing Draco. However, especially once the boy entered Hogwarts and was sorted into Slytherin, sometimes Severus simply didn't have a choice. Snape didn't like it, but he had always found that because he reprimanded less, Draco seemed to take him more seriously than even those who warmed his bum at times. It was an ironic thought, but Severus preferred such. He much preferred spending time teaching and enjoying Draco. Others could raise him to be a man. But lately? Angus Nott was gone and things were strained with Lucius; Severus had to step up. He had before and it looked like he'd have to again.

After a few long moments, Severus glanced up, staring at Draco.

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formerprince
2008-12-06 10:41 pm UTC (link)

Draco had taken his sweet time in assembling the various supplies and books he had brought with him to class. He knew he was in every shade and colour of trouble that existed, and he knew very well he’d brought it upon his own head. He was trying not to care. It felt rather freeing, actually, and so he sauntered up the aisle with a look on his face which might have done Lucius proud, had his father probably not wanted to strangle him. “Yes?” he reiterated once he’d reached Severus’ desk.

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professor_snape
2008-12-06 10:47 pm UTC (link)

"Shall I list the reasons you've disappointed me?" Severus deliberately chose those words. It wasn't often that Draco let him down, but that time he had not only committed an offense he needed to take credit for, but had openly defied Snape as a professor. "Or will you simply tell me what is it going through that thick skull of yours?"

Severus's dark eyes did not show the concern he felt, but kept their trademark glower. No one would guess that Severus' heart swelled with love for the child he beheld. Most would probably say the man was incapable of such pure affection, but when it came to Draco Malfoy, they were all sorely mistaken.

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formerprince
2008-12-06 11:01 pm UTC (link)

“List away, by all means.” Draco looked his most insolent, his coldest, which meant he was trying his hardest not to express any sort of emotion whatsoever. Severus undoubtedly knew it, and he didn’t care. Oh, he cared about his godfather, quite a bit, in fact. More than most people realized. Severus was the one adult in his life that had never demanded anything from him. Grades, perhaps, but nothing further. There was no pressure to do this or be that, even unconsciously, as those with the best of intentions had often accidentally bestowed upon him. He had loved his uncle dearly, but there was an expectation there, one he had failed miserably.

He inwardly cringed at the use of the word ‘disappoint.’ Draco had secretly always hated failing people’s expectations, and for him to offend Severus of all people … it did not make him happy. In fact, it made him feel the first real stirrings of guilt.

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	professor_snape 2008-12-06 11:13 pm UTC (link)
	"Do not sass me so," Severus answered. His tone was neutral though Draco's attitude hurt on levels he was not willing to share. "You are much more intelligent and know why you are here now. I deserve much more than your Malfoy arrogance. Cease at once or I will treat you like the child you are acting. It is up to you." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	formerprince 2008-12-06 11:22 pm UTC (link)
	Draco shrugged. “If you are going to scold me regardless, what does it matter how I’m treated? All I did was answer their questions and debate them honestly, Professor. The subject was a risqué one, yes. But it was a subject Granger could have walked away from at any time.” (Reply to this) (Parent)

professor_snape
2008-12-06 11:31 pm UTC (link)

"It was in poor taste and you know it. The least you could have done was apologize as requested. Your mother would not want you acting like a commoner." Severus shook his head as he looked around his desk. While other professors often personalized their areas with photos and figurines, Severus' was bare other than some papers. What did he have to put there? "I do not wish to scold or punish you, Draco. I want to know what's going on." Oh, how similar the words were to another conversation they had! Though that one had been far more serious. Severus hadn't gotten Draco to admit his plans for murdering Dumbledore then, but he'd not fail again. Who knew what path his godson could end up? Self-destruction was not an option. Severus didn't care if he had to lock him up.

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	formerprince 2008-12-06 11:41 pm UTC (link)
	"Nothing is going on," Draco returned stiffly. "It was just a conversation. And an attempt to piss off Granger. That's all." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	professor_snape 2008-12-06 11:47 pm UTC (link)
	"A girl you once laid hands on." Severus' eyes bore into his godson. "There is more to this. You know how foolish it is for you to upset her. Others like her. You cannot bring more suspicion, little sir." His expression softened as it often did around Draco. "Mio, caro, please." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	formerprince 2008-12-07 12:04 am UTC (link)
	Draco’s expression did not soften. If anything, it went the opposite, the scowl deepening. His eyes flashed, and he sank back against the nearest counter, folding his arms over his chest. “I have ruined my chances several thousand times over. I get it. I ought not to have … but I …” He looked away from Severus, his jaw tightening. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

professor_snape
2008-12-07 10:40 pm UTC (link)

Snape knew Draco's first reaction to most any negative situation was anger. However, he also understood his godson covered his fear and loneliness with such too. "You are scared," Severus said flatly. "Yes, believe me, I can relate more than you possibly realise." He dropped his professor facade, choosing to stand and lean against his desk so he was closer to Draco. It was much different than his conversations with Ron and Ginny. He might have been learning to show his concern toward them, but Draco would always be the one he held no reserve with. "Do not avoid eye contact." Severus gently cupped the young man's chin, using his thumb to massage the tension he felt there. As usual, the words Severus really wanted to use remained deep inside his heart. All he knew while looking at that boy was that he loved him and would do anything for them, but he couldn't bring himself to stay it. He could never bring himself to say it.

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formerprince
2008-12-07 11:09 pm UTC (link)

Draco had attempted for most of his life to be as stoic and reserved as Lucius; it had failed him miserably in his most desperate moments. He was far too quick to his emotions, particularly where anger and sadness were concerned, and that had always made him feel as if he disappointed his father. Perhaps in that way, he took after the Blacks too much.

He gave in and looked up at his godfather, though it wasn’t without inwardly flinching. “I don’t know if fear is the whole answer, either. I’ve … been a bit confrontational where Granger was concerned from the get-go. I ought to have stopped but I didn’t. I … couldn’t. Does that even make sense?”

He drew away from Severus, shaking his head. “Maybe I’m finally losing it,” he muttered, drawing his arms tighter about himself.

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professor_snape
2008-12-08 09:04 pm UTC (link)

If anyone knew Draco wasn't Lucius' carbon copy, it was Severus. However, he also knew how that made the boy suffer. Snape only wished Draco could believe in how much Lucius loved him just for being his child. Not just his heir, but his little boy...

Severus often blamed Lucius for not being a more demonstrative father, but when comparing him to Tobias Snape...well, Severus didn't know how Draco could question the man's affection. Still, Severus knew how Lucius could act and so he had tried to soothe Draco's fears as best he could over the years.

But the time was coming to make peace with the past; no one got anywhere feeling sorry for themselves. Severus was quite the expert in that lesson, after all. He had spent a miserable adult life for no reason other than his wounded ego and anger toward the world...his father, the Marauders, Lily, Dumbledore, himself...he didn't want that for Draco. Draco deserved to be happy. He had earned it. "She is someone you were told wasn't worth a thing, but yet one of the brightest witches of her time. You are intrigued by that. She argues with you and presents you a challenge. In another world, you might be friends." Severus, as usual, was blunt. If Draco accepted it, perhaps he could move past it.

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formerprince
2008-12-09 12:55 am UTC (link)

Draco stared at Severus as if the man had lost his mind; the idea was repugnant in multiple ways and both of them knew that. Though Draco wasn't entirely certain his godfather was wrong, per se, and that just made it worse. He had no desire to be friends with her, at least not consciously. His chosen circle of true friends - small as it was - was made up of people who did question him and didn't always do as he had asked or demanded of them. He valued their opinions and they meant more to him than anyone else, short of his family. Of course, Teddy was family, so that didn't hurt.

He shrugged at the last, resigned to the information. "That's never going to get me anywhere, now is it."

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professor_snape
2008-12-09 01:05 am UTC (link)

"Maybe not, but admitting it can free you at least." Snape crossed his arms over his chest, looking over the blond Slytherin. He still looked too thin and Severus hated that he always looked so...frail. Draco had never seemed such before. Delicate in the way most pureblooded boys were, yes, but not...broken. "Draco, you are about to leave these walls. You are ready. I believe that."

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formerprince
2008-12-09 01:14 am UTC (link)

Draco didn't, in a way. He had been preparing to take on the responsibilities of an adult for much of his life, yes, and the last few years had taught him more than enough about how difficult and dangerous life could be, but that phase was over now, and he wasn't entirely certain he was prepared to go the distance alone. Truthfully, he was very much scared, which was why MacMillan's offer had bothered him so much (or at least a part of the reason). It just reminded him that whether or not he wanted to avoid it, he was, for better or worse, now about to fully be emancipated. The future, however uncertain, was his.

And he had no bloody clue whatsoever as to what to do with the damned thing.

"Admit it to whom? To her? Right. That would go over well. 'Hey, Granger, what's say you and I put all the past behind us and become mates, eh?'" Draco didn't bother to hide the expression on his face, which was a mix between self-loathing and disgust at the idea. It faded, though, when he processed the second half of Severus' statement. "I have to deal with them for the rest of my life."

He had no need to classify the them; Severus knew he was speaking not only of the trio or the Order itself but of what they represented. "They won, and while I'm glad they did, I'm certainly not ... fully prepared for their sort of future. Especially if this-" he lifted the hated red badge off his lapel "-is going to be a part of it."

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professor_snape
2008-12-09 01:18 am UTC (link)

Snape's heart broke in a way no one would believe. That badge shouldn't have existed. Moreover, it was he who had helped brand his godchild. Everything he had thought the Light stood for had been a sham for they were doing exactly what Voldemort wanted, simply in reverse.

Thinking that, Severus reached out and fingered the heinous symbol. "It will not always be there," he stated in that tone he had used when Draco was a little boy and about to fling himself off something dangerous.

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formerprince
2008-12-09 01:25 am UTC (link)

He would have to wait for the day it wasn't, then, or go mad first. Draco had never been particularly patient and for the most part, his parents had indulged him in that, letting him have what he wanted when he wanted it. It was only later when he stopped wanting everything to move so quickly that he realised life wasn't always going to do what he wanted it to. Part of him had resented the loss of control, and the badge (along with its restrictions) represented exactly that.

He exhaled slowly, trying not to let a sigh of frustration escape him. "I have already told Tonks not to do anything foolish in regards to fixing the situation. I almost wish that I could, except ... it won't happen like that." And Draco was in no place to play leader of any sort of movement to the contrary. He had discovered quite thoroughly that everything a leader was required to do and be was not, precisely, what he was capable of.

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professor_snape
2008-12-09 01:33 am UTC (link)

"And why not?" Severus stopped crushing the badge in his fingers to question Draco again. His hand came to rest against the boy's forearm before he flicked his wand and cast a silencing charm on the room. "You are a capable young man. I would not have cared one bit about you if I didn't see everything you are. Everything, Draco. Salazar, you are no bloody Hufflepuff and we both know it. Why let them win?"

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formerprince
2008-12-09 01:37 am UTC (link)

"And just what are you suggesting I do?" Draco shot back, his voice full of disbelief. "Do you not remember that I am not alone in this? My mother can't take any more people rummaging through our house, let alone my aunt. I would not let them fall back into any sort of peril, not if I could help it. And you know they would if I failed." Failure, it seemed, was part of his destiny, at least where sweeping movements were concerned.

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professor_snape
2008-12-09 01:42 am UTC (link)

"Since when are you a coward? You have already proved you are far from one, little boy, so stop acting it. I am not telling you to behave foolishly. Merlin knows I'd let Kaleigh rip you apart if you tried anything remotely stupid, but...I am telling you I will not have this tired pity me attitude any longer. I love you, child." And just like that the words Snape had always felt but never been able to say were out in the open.

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formerprince
2008-12-09 01:55 am UTC (link)

Draco was certainly not used to being told that, not by any of the various father figures in his life. Lucius had used monetary methods of expressing it, along with the occasional tenderness which glimpsed at his true feelings. Angus had been the one most likely to say it, and it had always made Draco feel rather awkward, if pleased. It made him miss his uncle most, because he was left without anyone to make him feel awkward anymore, with Angus gone.

Severus had just gone and done that, but for an entirely different reason. Certainly Draco had never thought his godfather didn't care about him; that much was obvious, even to someone as emotionally dense as Draco could sometimes be. But Severus was also not a man who spoke his feelings, and Draco had learned to take his para's actions for affection, rather than rely on the spoken word.

It had hurt him intensely to have to hide from Severus, and punish him for something which Draco knew empirically was not Severus' fault. His emotions, however, had cried out otherwise, that he had been betrayed and would continue to be betrayed by his para when it came to the Death Eater movement. He had not entirely seen how deeply Severus truly hated Voldemort. He had been taken in, too, by the facade.

He dropped his gaze, flushing slightly. Draco had never been one for the blushing or stammering out of affection, and so it appalled him to know that he could not return the sentiment so easily. "I know that," he said finally. "I mean, I ... I never thought you didn't, I just ..."

Oh hell. He reached out, grasping his godfather's arm as if to let the gesture convey what he was fumbling at out loud.

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professor_snape
2008-12-09 02:01 am UTC (link)

Severus had shocked even himself. Never would he have admitted such a thing out loud. He truly was free then wasn't he? He didn't put people in danger simply by caring. Not anymore. He could get close to people if he really wanted to...maybe. Possibly.

It felt good to finally let Draco know, once and for all, that Severus really and unconditionally loved him. "Then behave as you should...a proper young man who can get anything he wants." Severus allowed a small smile to play on his lips. "Even from me and Lucius. That's saying something, little sir."

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	formerprince 2008-12-09 02:07 am UTC (link)
	Draco relaxed a fraction; the subject was somewhat dropped and Severus knew what he was trying to say. "Yes, well." He looked back at Severus with something like a smile teasing the corners of his mouth, though it wasn't fully expressed. "You made it easier than Father did." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	professor_snape 2008-12-09 02:13 am UTC (link)
	Severus was glad to see the slightly happier expression on Draco's face. "Well, I also got to go home at the end of the day." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	formerprince 2008-12-09 02:17 am UTC (link)
	"So you left my parents to deal with your mess. Very Slytherin of you, Para." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	professor_snape 2008-12-09 02:20 am UTC (link)
	"Shall I remind you of how many hot seats I saved you from with that Slytherin way, young man?" Severus' mouth twitched and he shook his head in amusement. Somehow, Draco's scoldings always wound up in an easy banter. How Slytherin of Draco. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	formerprince 2008-12-09 10:20 am UTC (link)
	"I never said I didn't appreciate it." Draco looked as innocent as he could. (Reply to this) (Parent)