Severus Snape (resume_severus) wrote in resumption_rpg, @ 2012-01-09 08:13:00 |
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Entry tags: | character: hermione granger, character: severus snape, date: january year two |
RP: "Happy" birthday to me?
Date: 9th January, year two
Characters: Hermione and Severus
Location: Putus Apothecary
Warnings: None
Public/Private: Private
Summary: Sev's depressed, 'cause it's his birthday.
Status: Complete
Thirty-nine. He was thirty-nine today.
Well, not precisely, he didn't think. He'd been brought to the village in early December, having left his own time on the 1st of May, so his actual year marker for thirty-nine would have been some time in July. But that was splitting hairs. It didn't change the fact that today was his birthday here in Putus, and so, since his last birthday in his own time had been his thirty-eighth, today he was thirty-nine.
Except he'd never lived to see thirty-nine back home, had he? Thirty-eight years, three months, and twenty-two days. And technically, he hadn't seen this extra month or so since coming to Putus, either, since he'd died mere minutes after being brought to the village.
He stared down at the leaves of lovage that he was ripping apart, but he wasn't really seeing them. He knew he should be glad. After all, in spite of having reconciled himself to the reality of his death (or thinking he had, at least), here he was cheating death. He was living on borrowed time. He was being given a second chance, even, to experience the life he would never have had back home: working at an apothecary -- with a clever, capable assistant -- instead of the drudgery of teaching, and having the quiet, stress-free life that he'd always wanted.
Still, the facts that he'd been here before, and that he could be sent back -- to his doom -- at any time were weighing on his mind, just then. It made it a bit difficult to be happy about the little over an extra month (so far) that fate had thrown his way.
~~~
Hermione hadn't recalled Professor Snape's birthday until she'd looked at a calendar. The date had struck her as familiar, though she couldn't quite recall why. Immediately, she had turned to her books and the answer had become apparent as soon as she saw Hogwarts, A History. The addition of a chapter on Professor Snape had given a cursory biography of the man and it had listed his birthday, which was January 9.
She wanted to celebrate his birthday because she was fairly certain he hadn't ever had a proper birthday. With that in mind, Hermione set about baking a cake the day before. The end result was a three-layer white cake with emerald green frosting that managed to look somewhat realistic. The text had told her his age, but she didn't intend to use forty candles for his cake. Instead, she found numbered candles - a three and a nine - and then one single candle for good luck. She carried it with her to work and set it off to the side before he could get a good look at it.
"Good morning, Professor," she greeted warmly, without any of the awkwardness that had begun to dissipate over the past few days. "Did you have an enjoyable weekend?"
~~~
"Good morning," Severus answered -- a reflex, more than anything, even if he harbored nothing close to ill will for Miss Granger, these days. He quite liked her, in fact, even if he could have done without the cheerful greeting, just now. Though that was hardly her fault. She wasn't a mind-reader, after all. At the very least, he imagined she would have asked his advice with regards to learning Legilimency, if she'd been so inclined. She had with just about everything else, whether he was an expert or not.
"It was all right, I suppose," he added, frowning at the hollow tenor of his voice, and hoping she hadn't quite noticed. "Quiet and uneventful. And you?" He glanced up briefly, face impassive, to gauge her expression and determine if he'd managed to camouflage his present melancholia quickly enough. Because as much as he liked her, this was a topic he was not especially anxious to discuss with her. Now, or ever, to be perfectly frank.
~~~
He seemed to sound only slightly different, but his greeting was likely just a reflex by now and not something that he actively needed to think on before doing. She offered him a warm smile and took her position by the workbench. "Quiet and uneventful seems to be the status quo around here," Hermione replied, glancing up at the hollow sound of his voice. It seemed that he didn't quite want to mention his birthday, but perhaps he simply didn't know that she knew when his birthday was.
Regardless, Hermione set to work with their daily potions tasks. "Thank you, again, for the book," she said after a few minutes. "It's proven to be just as comforting as I remember, and you've picked up the latest edition for me. It was quite a treat to come across the additions," she went on to say, obviously genuine in her happiness at the gift and the surprise.
~~~
Severus gave a quiet hum at the notion of uneventful weekends being the norm. He might have been inclined to agree, if he hadn't already known his previous incarnation in the village had been attacked. Of course, he himself hadn't been -- yet, anyway -- but he saw no need to mention that just now, either. Birthdays he didn't celebrate, and waiting for the inevitable attacks. So his life really hadn't changed all that much, apart from the dearth of teaching. He even managed a wry smile, because he'd taken to teaching her ... voluntarily, even. So really, his life hadn't changed at all, had it? Well, apart from no longer being under the Dark Lord and Dumbledore's respective thumbs, that was. That, at least, was an improvement.
"Of course," he answered, with a quick nod, at her thanks regarding her Christmas gift. "I'm glad you like it." And he was, even if he didn't sound especially glad at the moment. But he had wanted to get her something that she didn't have (here, at least), that she liked, and that she would find useful, and he appeared to have succeeded at all three. Any other day, he might have been able to even muster a bit of enthusiasm about it, but not today.
~~~
It was easy for them to fall into the routine of daily tasks as they conversed. She knew what to do with each ingredient so she focused on their conversations instead. "It was a thoughtful gift," she replied warmly. She let the silence fall between them again, and it was a comfortable one. It was amazing how at ease she felt now that she knew she had a surprise for him. It made the time pass relatively quickly for her and she was able to complete the base for a Pepper-Up by the time they took a break for lunch.
"I've made a beef stew for today," she said quietly as she cleaned up her equipment. Hermione had taken to bringing different meals for their lunch every day since the second, though she was always trying to guess what his favorite meal might be. Given how he'd insisted that her stew from Christmas Eve was delicious, she'd made a variation of it for today in honor of his birthday.
~~~
As far as Severus was concerned, there was no point in giving a gift that wasn't a thoughtful one. Which was why, most of the time, he simply didn't give gifts. He didn't know most people well enough to divine what might have been considered a thoughtful gift. (Never mind that he didn't want to get to know most people that well, either. That was beside the point.) Still, he was ... almost happy to know he'd done so well with her gift, especially with the limited amount of time he'd had to get her something.
"I'm not really hungry, but thank you," he said, shaking his head, as he continued shredding his lovage without interruption. She'd seen enough of this already, he imagined, that he could continue on whilst she ate, without robbing her of a learning opportunity. And then, he'd be ready to start on powdering the bicorn horn after lunch.
~~~
Hermione looked up when he said he wasn't hungry and went on shredding the lovage. She debated helping him finish for a moment but decided against it. "Very well," she said, before going into the break room. She portioned out stew for herself and heated it up before taking a seat at the small table she'd set up for them. Her lunch took only twenty minutes and when she was done, Hermione retrieved the cake from its hiding place. The candles went on it, and then she lit them with her bluebell flame. She took a moment to survey her work before moving toward the door. "Sir? Could you come here for a moment?" she called, hoping that he was finished with the lovage so that she could wish him a happy birthday.
~~~
Severus had just finished washing his hands when Miss Granger called to him from the break room. He couldn't imagine what on earth she might need his help with in there. Well, unless she'd just 'accidentally' heated too much stew, and she just didn't know what she was going to do with it all. He had a suggestion or two if that were the case, but he didn't think she would care for them, to be honest.
Once he entered the room, however, he gasped softly, stopping short just inside the door. Then his jaw clenched. Considering what he'd only just been thinking, now he felt especially awful. And since he hadn't started the day in the best of moods, that was certainly saying something. That, atop his general depression, and how exceedingly touching it was that she'd remembered his birthday in the first place, was all a bit too much. So, instead of saying anything at all, he simply turned and left the room again. Because he just couldn't take it. Not today.
~~~
Hermione thought that he'd appreciate the gesture, even after how their Christmas had gone. She watched as he came in, a hopeful look on her face. Not once did it cross her mind to sing 'Happy Birthday' to him, figuring that he'd enjoy a more understated birthday. A moment later, however, he just walked out of the room. The hurt and surprise on her face was evident and she wrapped her arms around herself as he walked out. A moment later, however, she was moving. With a flick of her wrist, the candles were put out.
"I'm sorry, sir, I only wanted to wish you a 'Happy Birthday' and I thought a cake would be a good way to do that," Hermione said, following him back into the preparation room. She was worried that he'd throw her out for overstepping her bounds. Berating herself for how she acted around him was quickly becoming something she did frequently and she hated that.
~~~
Severus made his way to the sink, in order to wash his hands again, even if they hardly needed it. More than anything, It was to hide behind the sounds of running water for a few seconds. Until she came out and started apologizing, that was, which she was sure to do. And the irony was, she hadn't done anything wrong. Quite the contrary. But with his hasty departure, he couldn't imagine she would see it that way.
"No, I--" he began, once the anticipated apologies arrived, but he broke off shaking his head. "You've no need to apologize, Miss Granger," he continued after a moment, reaching up to turn off the taps and then taking down a towel to dry his hands. Which were shaking. Lovely. "I appreciate the thought, really," he continued, staring at the wall behind the sink. "It was very kind of you." But 'very kind' acts weren't normally followed by storming out, were they? The trouble was, he wasn't sure he had it in him to explain.
~~~
Hermione stood on the opposite side of the preparation room as he washed his hands. She didn't want to crowd him, afraid that she would only upset him further. His stilted reply confused her because his actions clearly said to her that she'd done something wrong. Hesitantly, she stepped forward. "Is there --" but she stopped, unhappy with the phrasing she'd started to use. Hermione paused for a moment and found her voice again.
"If there's something you'd like to talk about, sir, I would be happy to listen," she offered, hoping that she could calm him down enough to get him to think about having a slice of cake. Hermione was wary to actually touch him, hoping to maintain some boundaries, but she could provide an ear to listen with if he needed it.
~~~
Then again, he probably wouldn't have to explain, as such. If there was one thing he could say for Hermione Granger, it was that she was exceedingly clever. She might be able to connect the dots all on her own. "This is my thirty-ninth birthday," he told her, his voice sounding hollow again, as he dropped the towel unceremoniously on the counter, after he was done with it. "I never made it that far, back home."
Then again, perhaps she'd simply tell him he ought to celebrate even more enthusiastically because of that. Even he couldn't explain why he didn't feel like it. Well, apart from the fact that he hadn't really celebrated a birthday since his fifth year. That was the last time he'd had a cake, at least, when Lily's parents had sent him one.
~~~
In all honesty, she'd thought that he would want to celebrate this birthday because he was still alive. She hadn't taken into account how he might react to his first birthday after being told that he was dead from when she came from. Hermione sighed softly, disappointed in herself for not considering how he might feel in regard to his birthday. She stepped forward and reached out to gently touch his shoulder.
"I understand, sir. At least, a little bit," Hermione replied quietly, trying to give him some form of comfort without crossing too many lines. She just couldn't keep her hands to herself when it was clear how unsettled by this he was. She could only imagine how few times anyone had ever offered him any sort of physical comfort if making him a Slytherin-colored cake threw him off, even if it was for a birthday he ordinarily wouldn't have seen.
~~~
He exhaled with a sigh, shoulders slumping, when he felt her hand on his shoulder. "I should be happy, I know," he said, shaking his head. "I'm not dead here, after all. But somehow, it's a bit difficult to get excited about having another birthday, this time around." He sighed again, before reaching up to pat her hand, briefly, before folding his arms over his chest.
"It's not your fault, however," he added, shaking his head again. "I don't want you to think that. And I do appreciate the thought, truly. I'm simply not in the mood to celebrate." He turned just enough that he could see her face, before adding, "Perhaps next year?" and giving a slight shrug.
~~~
Hermione could understand his reasoning and she wasn't angry with him in the slightest. She felt bad that she'd put him in this position, but she wouldn't make it worse. It was a big step, as far as she was concerned, for him to not only not pull away but also pat her hand. "You shouldn't feel anything you don't want to," she assured him warmly, giving him a slight squeeze before withdrawing her hand completely.
"Whenever you'd like, sir," Hermione insisted. "It's your birthday. You're entitled to celebrate it however you want. I'll ask next time." Her smile was genuine as she turned back to the break room. "Shall I save the cake or take it home with me?" she asked genuinely wanting to know what he'd like to do since it was his cake.
~~~
There was no guarantee that he'd be there the next year, of course, but he saw no need to mention that. Because if he weren't in Putus the following year, he would necessarily be dead, wouldn't he? Which definitely didn't make him feel like celebrating.
"I appreciate that thought, as well, Miss Granger," he replied, shaking his head with a small, wry smile. "But my feelings are really not so fragile that you have to ask regarding every little thing." Though the fact that she was worried about his feelings at all -- again -- was exceedingly touching, he had to admit. It certainly wasn't what he was used to, and oddly enough, it started to make him feel a bit better.
Granted, he still wasn't hungry, and he still didn't especially care for sweets, but that was beside the point. She'd tried to do something nice for him, and here he was, spoiling it, like the ungrateful git he undoubtedly was. Finally, he jerked his head toward the break room, giving her another small smile -- this one less wry. "Go on, then," he said, with another slight shrug, as well. "I daresay we've a cake to cut, haven't we?"
~~~
Hermione simply wanted to ensure that she wasn't overstepping any boundaries, but if she didn't need to ask about every little thing then she would try to find a balance between asking and not asking. "I understand, sir," she replied with a slight smile. She was concerned with how he felt and what was going through his mind, especially in regards to his birthday and the fact that he was alive here. It would have been an adjustment regardless and she had been the one to tell him what would happen to him if he went back.
Her smile only widened when he told her to go cut the cake. "Of course, sir," Hermione replied warmly, lingering for a moment before walking back into the break room. She withdrew her wand and relit the candles with her bluebell flame. She levitated the cake so that he wouldn't have to bend over too much to blow them out. "Don't forget to make a wish, sir," she reminded him with a smile.
~~~
He followed her into the break room, of course, but Severus couldn't help shaking his head when he saw the glow of the candles that had been rekindled. He made a show of rolling his eyes, however, as if to say that he was merely indulging her. Still, his cheeks warmed just a little because ... well, it had been decades, literally, since anyone had made such a fuss over his birthday. Inwardly, he was dead chuffed to think she might have thought he was worth going to all this trouble, even if it might have been less than dignified to admit he was enjoying it.
The birthday wish itself, while wholly superstitious, was still easy enough to devise -- especially in light of how she levitated the cake so that he wouldn't even have to risk singing his hair as he bent over to blow out the candles. He wished, simply, that she would remain just as kind and considerate of him, crusty as he was. She was probably that way with everyone, actually, even if all the other people she knew likely took it for granted. He did not, however, because it wasn't the norm, in his experience. Far from it, actually, and as such, it meant quite a bit to him.
"All right -- let's get this over with," he told her then, pulling the candles out of the floating cake. Though he had to fake the slight note of exasperation in his tone, rather than the norm there, as well. "We've work to do today, after all."
~~~
Her smile didn't falter even as he rolled his eyes and shook his head. He'd specifically said not to worry too extensively about his feelings and something as simple as blowing out candles could be done easily, even if he did complain a little. Still, he blew out the candles and she chose to believe that he made a wish as well. As soon as the candles were out, Hermione gently lowered the cake back to the table and then cast a spell to cut it into eight even slices.
"I hope you like it," she said as she retrieved two plates and forks from the cabinet. A few moments later, she set a slice on each of their plates and took a seat. Hermione wouldn't point out that he hadn't even had his lunch yet, but she did hope that the cake was enjoyable. She'd tried to tailor the cake to him.
~~~
Severus raised an eyebrow once she'd started doling out their slices. White cake with green icing? He was honestly surprised she hadn't found black plates and cutlery for the occasion. Then again, perhaps she was saving that for his fortieth birthday, instead. Actually, she probably wouldn't, now he thought about it. Since he was dead in her time, she would likely consider faux mourning on his 'over the hill' birthday to be in very bad taste. Though now he couldn't help wondering if she had engaged in the real thing, back home...
"Slytherin colors, Miss Granger?" he asked, with just a hint of a smirk, before taking his plate and getting a bite. Though that question was to distract himself from the depressing turn his thoughts had taken as much as anything. Still, he couldn't help thinking that she'd really outdone herself to get -- or stay, possibly -- in his good graces. As if she really had to try. He gave her a small smile, however, whilst chewing his first bite. It was good. For cake, at least.
~~~
Hermione's color choices had been very simple. She hadn't been sure if he liked chocolate, which left her with vanilla flavoring. The choices were usually yellow or white cake and she thought that maybe Slytherin colors would remind him that there was some good in Slytherin House, like himself. She'd spent well over an hour making sure that the icing was the appropriate shade of green, but it was well worth it to her. Her sense of humor was decidedly not morbid and so she hadn't even thought that he might not want to celebrate his birthday.
"Of course, sir," Hermione replied, taking a bite herself. "I thought you'd prefer it to Gryffindor colors," she teased, the words slipping out before she realized what she'd said. It was nice to feel this comfortable with him again, so she didn't dwell on it. Instead, she took another bite before asking, "What colors would you prefer for next year?" Of course, next year would be his fortieth birthday. That required a slightly larger celebration than this. Perhaps she'd get re-lighting candles next year.
~~~
"If you want me to keep it down, yes," Severus quipped, smirking again, before taking another bite. He hummed thoughtfully, however, when she asked what he would prefer for next year. That was assuming they'd both be here the next year, of course, which wasn't necessarily a safe assumption. Still ... "I'm partial to green and black. Or devil's food, as the case may be." Though he decided not to add the 'if I have to have cake, that is'. He'd already been quite ungrateful enough for one day, he imagined.
"How about you?" he asked then, eyebrows rising. Because as long as they were planning ahead to his next birthday, they couldn't very well ignore hers. Granted, he didn't remember precisely when it was, though if he recalled correctly, if was sometime in the early Autumn, making her one of the oldest in her year. That didn't entirely account for her level of maturity, which had been quite advanced, even at eleven. Then again, he could merely be comparing her to Potter and Weasley, now he thought about it.
~~~
"Devil's food cake is quite delicious," Hermione commented with a smile. "I've only enjoyed it while at Hogwarts. My parents, being dentists, never quite approved of over-indulgence in sweets. My birthday cakes were usually homemade without much sugar or processed ingredients," she explained. She didn't have a very large sweet tooth herself, so it never really bothered her.
Of course, that led quite nicely into his question and it made her realize that she'd missed her birthday. "I wonder..." Hermione trailed off, trying to make sense of things. "I was 18 in my time when I left, but when I arrived here in December, it would have been after my 19th birthday. When September comes, will I be twenty, or will I turn 19 in four months?" She honestly wasn't quite sure.
~~~
"I'm not much for sweets, either," he answered, frowning slightly now, with a shake of his head. "I daresay a cupcake would have been enough to tide me over until next year." His frown deepened then, however, when he realized she might take that badly. "What I mean is," he added hastily, "I do appreciate it, but you didn't have to go to all this trouble." Hopefully she wouldn't take that too awfully badly.
"I was wondering that myself, earlier," he added, frowning again, though now it was quite obviously in thought. "I won't actually be thirty-nine until some time in July, if we're going by the sheer number of days." He shrugged a moment later, however, and added, "But I suppose it doesn't matter all that much. So, ah -- happy belated birthday to you, as well."
He stopped himself short of saying they ought to put the lone candle and the 9 candle back on the cake and light them up for her to blow out. For one thing, if he'd suggested it, she probably would have thought he'd gone mad. For another, it would rather betray that he hadn't been quite as put out by the fuss she'd made over him as he'd led her to believe. All in all, it was probably best simply not to mention it. Otherwise, it might hurt his reputation of being an unrepentant bastard.
~~~
Hermione chuckled when he said a cupcake likely would have been enough and her smile never faltered when he tried to make up for it. "You know," she replied slyly. "My feelings aren't so fragile that you have to explain every little thing you say." It struck her just how comfortable she was getting to be with him after teasing him like that. She fought the urge to make sure that it was okay to say such a thing, or to explain that it was simply a joke and that she was only teasing him. Instead, she busied her mouth with another bite of the cake.
She smiled widely when he wished her a happy birthday. "Thank you, sir. I suppose that means that I'm to reply that I'm 19 whenever anyone asks me how old I am," she mused for a moment before shrugging. "It hardly matters. Whenever I would attend Dentistry conferences with my parents, their colleagues would always be surprised that I was a mere teenager. Age is hardly a good indicator of intelligence or maturity."
~~~
"Point taken," Severus answered with a nod and a small smile, before having another bite. He supposed she knew by now that he wasn't actively trying to be an arse -- not with her, at any rate -- when he said something that could be interpreted as ... curt, to put it mildly. But by extension, that would necessarily imply that he didn't have to try so hard not to be an arse, either. Because she knew by now that his sarcasm wasn't always intended to wound. Just ... most of the time.
"I would say so, yes," he answered, nodding again, when she mentioned saying that she was nineteen now. Though he was tempted to say he ought to claim that he was still thirty-eight, he stopped himself, for two very good reasons. The first was, one year more or less on either of their parts would hardly make the growing attraction he felt toward her any less unseemly. And the second was, if he mentioned it, well, she'd know he'd been having thoughts along those lines. And after that disastrous near kiss on Christmas Eve that she seemed to anxious to forget, reminding her in any way was ... probably not a good idea.
"Indeed not," he agreed, smiling, but he sniggered a second later, when the bit about dentistry conferences caused the most amusing image to spring to mind. At her questioning look, he added, "I was just thinking, if you were anything like the precocious little eleven-year-old I met when telling your parents about Hogwarts ... well, let's just say, I feel a bit sorry for the other dentists who attended said conferences." But he smirked to let her know that he was only teasing, as well.
~~~
It had taken a few weeks to get a good feel for his manner of speaking, but she thought she had a pretty good grasp on how he handled himself. She certainly didn't take it personally about his preference for cupcakes over a cake. Hermione didn't want him to feel like he had to worry about what he said or how he said it just for her. She quite liked him just the way he was. He didn't need to walk on eggshells around her.
She'd been lost in her memory of the dental conferences when she heard him snigger and she looked at him, confused. Had she said something funny without realizing it? His explanation caused her to instinctively to stick her tongue out at him, despite the fact that in undermined her point of age in relation to maturity. "Yes well, I've made a fool of one or two of the younger dentists, but primarily because they couldn't comprehend my sarcasm. It was quite fun until my father caught on and expressly forbade me from making too big a fool of any of them. He still let me occasionally show up someone if they'd been particularly offensive, but it's not quite as much fun if it's allowed," she added with a grin.
~~~
Severus chuckled when she stuck out her tongue at him. "And evidently, age is no reliable indicator of maturity, either," he said dryly, smirking. Though as nineteen-year-olds went, she was probably the most mature one he'd ever met. Including himself, actually, when he'd been that age. Lily's parents had always said that he was born forty, however, and now he gave a wry smile when he realized his chronological age had almost caught up -- finally.
"Well, thankfully, I won't have to worry about that," he quipped, when she mentioned some of the younger dentists were unable to comprehend her sarcasm. Though the remainder of what she said had him shaking his head fondly. "I know what you mean," he said, smiling again. "My mother used to get regular letters from the Headmistress of my primary school, whenever I'd correct the teachers. Though it never deterred me in the slightest."
~~~
A slight blush colored her cheeks, but Hermione hardly let it faze her. She knew he was teasing and it was evident from how he treated her that she wasn't just a child to him. That was incredibly important to her because she was beginning to feel an attraction toward him that she couldn't really explain. She just knew that she wanted to be close to him, emotionally and physically. The second half of that had been a recent revelation after the demonstration of how to cut the rat spleen coupled with the almost kiss from Christmas Eve, but it didn't startle her as much as she thought it might.
"Somehow, it's very easy to believe that those letters were regular," she replied, enjoying more of her cake. "I was never disrespectful to my teachers, save Professor Trelawney. My time was better spent doing work in my other classes than such a ridiculous, frivolous pursuit. I don't know what was more surprising though; the fact that I walked out in the middle of class or that it took me so long to do so."
~~~
"Quite regular," Severus agreed with a nod, and another smirk, before taking another bite of cake. And he was a bit surprised to note that he was feeling loads better now. His appetite even seemed to be returning -- now he'd gone and spoiled his lunch by having pudding first. Miss Granger just seemed to have this inexplicable talent for putting him in a good mood, however, no matter what the trouble happened to be. He probably should have been more concerned about his moods being so easily influenced by another person -- at least in a positive sense, that was -- considering that she could have been taken away at any time. But for now, he really couldn't be bothered to care. He enjoyed her company too much.
"I'm surprised that you ever elected to take the subject in the first place," he answered, shaking his head. Though what she said about never having been disrespectful to her teachers caused him to frown just a little, as he mulled it over. Not because he disagreed -- because he didn't; she'd always been polite -- but rather because ... well, he hadn't always extended the same courtesy to her. A large portion of his harsh treatment of her stemmed from who her friends were, no doubt, but even that wasn't the entirety of it, to be sure, even if he'd only really put it together now.
He'd found her almost encyclopedic knowledge on every subject a bit intimidating, to be honest, and in a classroom full of Gryffindors, where his hold on discipline had been tenuous at best, he'd probably gone a bit overboard in his criticisms, hoping to get her to pipe down. So that she wouldn't embarrass him, he realized now. Therefore he'd embarrassed her first, in ... what, self-defense? No, age was certainly no reliable indicator of maturity, as he'd been over twice her age at the time and had acted remarkably childishly.
"Ah ... Miss Granger?" he began, before licking his lips and swallowing. Should he even say anything, or should he simply let bygones be bygones, since they seemed to have come to an understanding, of sorts? No, he finally decided, jaw clenching. He'd left far too much unsaid in his lifetime, as it was. Since he was living on borrowed time here anyway, he decided to make the most of it. And that started with apologizing for his past transgressions, didn't it? "I wanted to apologize for, ah -- calling you an insufferable know-it-all in your third year." He decided, however, to leave it at that. If she wanted clarification, he could be persuaded to say more, but for now, he imagined that simple apology would be more than enough. Especially since it had been quite unsolicited.
~~~
Hermione blushed slightly when he said he was surprised she took Divination in the first place. "I suppose saying that it was offered isn't the best reason to take a class, is it?" she asked with a slight smile. She had simply wanted to know everything there was to know about magic so that she could prove that just because she was a Muggleborn, she was still every bit a witch just like any Pureblood. That had been the truth of it, coupled with the fact that, before the incident with the troll, she'd had no friends. Even after she'd bonded with Harry and Ron, her studies had been a priority with her.
How fitting then, that he chose to apologize for calling her a know-it-all. The urge to kiss him came over her again and Hermione focused on remaining calm. She reached across the table and put her hand over his, much in the same way she'd done on Christmas Eve, and smiled. "Thank you, Professor," she replied honestly, giving his hand a slight squeeze before removing her hand altogether. She didn't want to linger inappropriately. "I hope I'm a little less insufferable now," she offered, letting him know that she held no ill will toward him for what he'd said in the past.
~~~
"Probably not the best reason, no," Severus answered with an indulgent smile. "Though I can hardly fault you for your curiosity." He was the last person who would, actually. Quite apart from the fact that her bountiful intellectual curiosity was one of the most alluring things about her, it would have been highly hypocritical of him. Not that he had never been guilty of hypocrisy, of course, but ... less so, here lately, at least. But the boy who had struggled to teach himself to read, for the simple reason that books contained things he couldn't understand -- and he hated when there was something he couldn't understand -- could never fault her for being every bit as curious as he.
He was pleased that she accepted his apology without argument, but that was nothing compared to how he felt when she moved her hand to cover his. The touch of her hand, if brief, and even daring to squeeze, made his stomach do some sort of flip. In fact, it affected him so deeply that he imagined his appetite might be in danger of departing once more, though for an entirely different reason to being upset. Still, he managed to regain enough of his composure, shortly, to answer, "Far from insufferable, these days," before giving her a small smile, and busying himself with taking another hasty bite of cake, as his cheeks began to warm anew.
~~~
Professor Snape seemed to understand her better than anyone else had ever been able to. Not even Harry or Ron could understand why she spent so much time on her studies. She'd always had to put her work aside for them and then help them with their work when they needed it. The more she thought about it, the more she wished she'd been able to have a chance at being friends with Professor Snape but at least she had the chance to do so now.
The urge to kiss him came back in full force when he said she was far from insufferable these days. Without thinking too heavily about it, Hermione got up from her seat and crossed over to where he was sitting. She put her hand on his shoulder as she leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth.
~~~
When Miss Granger rose from her chair, Severus simply assumed she was finished with her slice of cake and that she'd be getting back to work shortly. What she actually did, however, couldn't have been more different from his initial supposition. The first thing he noticed, of course, was the same thing he'd been trying to force himself not to think about for ... well, the better part of the past week: the smell of her hair. It only occurred to him, after she'd pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth, why he was smelling her hair so strongly.
It was as if time stood still, and he was frozen to the spot, and he couldn't have reacted even if he'd wanted to. Well, that wasn't entirely true, because he did react, and he had reacted. It simply took a moment for him to realize that he had, in fact, raised a hand from the table and put it to her cheek. But one thing was for certain: he couldn't blame this on alcohol, because there wasn't any in the cake, and he hadn't smelled any on her breath, either.
Several glorious seconds later, the realization that this was wrong finally crossed his mind, and he leaned back in his chair, dropping his hand to her shoulder in order to nudge her backward. "Miss Granger...?" he asked a bit weakly, blinking at her, but he hadn't the first clue what else to say. Other than perhaps to ask why she had kissed him, or to admit that he'd really enjoyed it, and that he would quite like it if she were to kiss him again. Did that make him some sort of depraved fiend?
~~~
Hermione was surprised, slightly, that he didn't immediately push her away. The feel of his hand against her cheek was comforting and she found herself wanting to kiss him appropriately. She was about to shift her lips over to kiss him fully when he nudged her back. It wasn't a sharp push nor did he force himself backward. Perhaps...perhaps he wanted it to? Hermione offered him a warm smile as she straightened up.
"You say the sweetest things, sir. I couldn't quite help myself," she explained, moving her hand from his shoulder up to his cheek, caressing him. Hermione was quiet for a moment before she said, quite fondly, "Happy Birthday, sir." She had certainly enjoyed herself and she hoped he wouldn't be too upset with her that she kissed him.
~~~
Severus fairly gaped at her when she said he said the sweetest things. As flustered as he was at her hand on his cheek, however, the quip that she must have had a very low tolerance for sweetness really never stood a chance. "Ah ... thank you," he finally managed to whisper, when she again wished him a happy birthday. He cleared his throat a second later, before adding, "And many happy returns."
Of course, in spite of whatever 'sweet' things he might have said -- and he still considered that point highly debatable -- he imagined that had only been a birthday type of kiss. So there was probably no danger of a repeat. In fact, she'd probably only been aiming for his cheek and missed. Therefore, he didn't bother to point out the inherent wrongness in such a gesture. Best simply not to draw attention to it, he decided, finally getting up, in order to get back to work himself.