Re: [Outside Vade: Atticus/Steve]
There was a time when Atticus would rather say nothing about what bothered him. Was easier to just coast, to take the lazy route and leave things unsaid that might lead to difficult or uncomfortable conversations. But, somewhere along the line, he'd gotten fed up with it. Not being open was hard. Not putting it out there and letting it be accepted or rejected, that was harder than talking. Had been trying to talk for months, and it looked like today was the day.
"Harder to connect," he echoed. "OK. Can see that. Makes sense. Am I supposed to ask why Janus made it harder? You two talked more than we talked." Was an observation. If it was an incorrect observation, then it was an invitation to clarify. Chuckled when he was told he was being dramatic, and he held onto his lazy sprawl when Steve sat forward. Wasn't sorry he'd said what he'd said. Was his truth. "Didn't think we were just fucking. Didn't think you were just sleeping in my bed. Thought we were seeing where things went." Here, he sat forward, elbows on the table. "Hear me out. Not really interested in the constraint of something traditional. Want whoever I'm with to be with me because they want to be, not because of a verbal contract. Want to be with who I'm with for the same reasons. Want a commitment, but want freedom. Understand if those two things don't make sense to you together. Not interested in anyone else, except Janus, and I don't think that's going anywhere. Could soften it, but don't see the point. Want you. Want you in my bed. Freedom doesn't need to mean sleeping around. Might never sleep with anyone else. Might. Doesn't change how I feel about you." He sat back again. Wished he had a cigarette. "Would like your opinion."