Re: [Outside Vade: Atticus/Steve]
Wasn't sure what Janus needed. Atticus tended toward silence when he didn't know a response. Knew that was one of the things that made him somewhat difficult to interact with. Had never known what Janus needed. Didn't think he had it in him to know what Janus needed. Only knew he'd tried until he was blue in the face to understand Janus. Had never managed it. Assumed Steve spoke Janus' language much better than he, himself, did. Now thought maybe it had been taxing to Steve.
Had known for months that Steve wasn't happy. Traced it back to Matt leaving, but maybe that wasn't it at all. Had grown to assume Steve was fine with their relationship how it was, that the other man understood, but Atticus sipped his drink and wondered if he'd gotten it wrong. Could tell Steve didn't want to have the discussion he wanted to have. That was something that always happened lately too. "Remember at the beginning? Used to talk. Don't do that anymore. You, not me." Wasn't what Steve was actually talking about, but Atticus had decided it was the important thing.
Steve's reaction to his response only made Atticus more certain. Looked at Steve for a long time, hazel eyes intent in their perusal. "No, Steve. Don't do that. You're not happy. Haven't been happy in a long time. Not vain enough to say it's all me, but think my version of a relationship might contribute. Janus' behavior might contribute. Matt leaving, the government, even the bar you're running. My point is you're shutdown, jaded, unhappy. Very different from a year ago. Think you need something, but don't know what that is or if I can give it. Don't know if this town can give it." Sat forward, elbows on the table. "Take a break? Travel? See how it feels? Do something, because from where I'm sitting it looks like you're dying over there."