How does one inspect one's own posterior? I provide it regular, lavish admiration (as do my lovers) but inspection sounds worryingly like doctors or the military. And if I were with someone naked, I would hope to distract them entirely from the glow.
Would you wish to be eclipsed by your own ass?
Rather superficial for a Captain, but where exactly are we sailing? Without stars to mark by, obviously. Have you ever believed in anything that you didn't have hard cold fact in front of you for?