Re: postcard: castor & pollux.
[The return, and with a note written slightly most rushed and in an unsteady hand]
Castor,
Your story couldn't have come at a better time. Sounds like this guy who helps himself to a seat, maybe he's seeing something he missed out on? Or is he just mad that someone else has something he wants?
Anyone who tells you it's not okay to be angry is selling bad advice. We feel things and that's fine. Where I think the problem comes from, is because we take that anger out on others. It sounds to me though, that what you're saying is you want people to be passionate about you, to be moved rather than apathetic? As someone who's had people move on them in anger a lot, I tell you Pollux, passion like that isn't all it's cracked up to be. Passion motivated by hate is rarely clear and almost never personal. It's not you they hate, but some piece they see you as. To me, it's not even real passion, just another example of a scapegoat. I don't know you, but I think everyone deserves better than being a scapegoat.
Angry sex is not anywhere near as good as passionate sex you're invested in enjoying and making sure is enjoyed. I've had both. Always vote for the latter.
Sometimes I smoke. And I don't think you're a nut. You like what you like, but I should tell you it's not healthy to smell gasoline. Hypocrite as that makes me. I agree with you about water being good for sleep, but for me its always been rain on the windows. Nothing puts me to sleep faster. I think trying to fake it is what's missing. It's not real, and not satisfying as a result. Could be wrong, but those things don't work for me either. Thank God there's coffee in the world.
Why wouldn't you tell the truth more often? Are you worried what people would think of you Pollux? Can't say I don't understand that. I keep a lot to myself too. And what is it that people and the Universe have done to disappoint you?
Take a pen, a piece of paper, and a camera. Send me letters and pictures from the road. And who would you want to take?
I can tell you it does. I'm not the same person I was, nor am I the same person I always will be. I don't think it changes who we are immediately, but I think it does over the time? I think guilt is one of the things that sets us apart, that we feel bad about what we do sometimes even without reason. I think it's that feeling we use to try and turn ourselves into something we're happier with, or we're the terrifying creatures that don't have it and are too smart for our own good. Jury's still out on that one.
Certainly I've seen some who act like animals. Can't even disagree.
You really think so? What does yours look like?
Sincerely, Castor.
P.S. I agree. But I still think you should. P.P.S. I almost don't remember what that smells like, Seal your next letter with wax for me?