Re: [postcard: scully & mulder]
[Complimentary, with colors in the sky. Envelope and extra cards included.]
Scully, Can we arrive to the mutual decision that terribly vicious people, the sort that might intentionally harm another person, would not engage in lengthy correspondence? Even if they would, I'm choosing to believe that they would not discuss houses that walk and lonely space tortoises. In any case, an amorous drunk sounds like a splendid type of drunk to be. Does the amorous nature hang around even in the aftermath? Or is it gone with the hangover?
Big, scary things are easier when inhibitions are lowered. For me, this includes big, scary emotions. I can't remember the last time I cried without drinking first. I haven't cried in quite awhile, although I haven't drank in quite awhile either. We're coming full circle back to all the ways vulnerability can be terrifying. I associate certain emotions with weakness. But only in my own self, I find them quite charming when expressed in others. Have I told you yet that I'm a hypocrite, Scully? I hate it, but it seems to be true.
I empathize with the tortoise very much. I do hope that he one day finds his amphibious counterpart, but I mostly suspect that the stars aren't in line, and it is all stacked against him. The stars are so vast that I can't really imagine anything beyond them. Besides, if the universe is ever expanding, do the stars go along for the ride? I can't imagine nothing. Complete and absolute nothing? Can everything around us come from nothing?
Change in myself or change in the world? Shall I be introspective or cynical? Oh, why not both? The most difficult part about being aware of something that we should change in ourselves is the fact that simply knowing it hasn't changed anything at all. I'm a faintheart, gutless and spineless. Not too far off from achieving true cephalopod status, I'm afraid. As far as the world goes, fixing the hole in the ozone layer would be too easy an answer, wouldn't it? I'd like for there to be a little more empathy in the world, but the ozone might be a quicker fix.
Your turn.
I don't think I've had Chinese food in years. I'm wishing for some egg rolls right now, we'll see if this star thing really works.
Were we meant, really meant, to write one another? Can there be room for purpose in a town so chaotic? If there is meaning in this, it could be that we have different truths to discover. I keep things very lighthearted with the people closest to me, Scully. Friendly and arms length. It leaves me feeling like half a person some days, like I'm living a lie. I can admit that on paper.