Re: [Treatment Facility: Dami & Misha]
Not wanting to feel was about, you guessed it, controlling what he felt (or did not feel). And Damian could not do anything he wanted to, regardless of how it seemed. Because much of what he desired—control, for example, over himself—remained elusive and no amount of finger-snapping would bring it to fruition. The trouble was that there was no controlling certain aspects of oneself, and self-compassion was a better way of learning to deal with these things. But this methodology was not endorsed by the al Gols, who only punished Damian for each failing he presented—or each failing they imagined was there. So, he was ignorant of what it meant for him and of how hopeless his cause. He was learning, in inches, but it was a slow trajectory.
Damian frowned when Misha said he had missed class, even though that had to be as obvious as anything. He rubbed his palms over his eyes until he saw bright pops of color and he hated himself and he hated Leena for all of this. "Fine." He did not suggest Misha go back for school. He both knew he would never convince the angel of this, and he did not truly desire him to leave. "I wish we had not come to Jersey. It has derailed everything." Damian said this mournfully as he climbed into Misha's lap. He pressed his nose to Misha's throat, closing his eyes, and he breathed a moment, as the boy spoke of missing him and not sleeping. The reassurance was not misplaced, as Damian was, indeed, worried Misha had done something he ought not have done. "I will always be fussed about you, you idiot," he mumbled against pale, sweet-smelling skin. "Stay close to here. I do not want you to have to bus out. I will ask at the desk about jobs in the villages nearby."
He sat up slightly, not unaware that something about Misha was different, even if he could not have said, ever, what it was. His gaze narrowed at the boy's admission, after the telltale sigh. "What did you do?" His fingers came to Misha's chin, but he did not push the boy's chin from its defiant cut. "What does it mean, 'earthbound'?" Understanding came slowly. "It is why you had to take a bus." This was his fault, he knew this, and Damian settled his cheek back to Misha's shoulder. "I wish to go home."