Re: [Jester's Court: Cat & Jack]
Cat didn't fit, so join the club. More honest now, he wasn't sure he'd ever fit to begin with, but he sure didn't fit now. Now, now was like wearing clothing that was too big, and maybe that seemed weird, but it was definitely too big and not too small. Oh, sure, Cat was thinner, narrower, lither. He took up less space in the world, and being taller didn't change that. And, too, it wasn't about size. No, it was about him. About figuring things out and wanting things, and Cat was a mess. He had a vague notion in his head that if he just gave everything away, dropped everything and everyone, he would feel more like someone new, and it was an idea that had gone from percolation to rolling boil, but that didn't have anything to do with psychedelic funhouses.
"I only ache for things I get," Cat said, jumping off that desk and then crawling through the dark passage and into the room with the mirrors. Was it a lie? Sure it was, and he knew Jack would know it was a lie, but there was such a thing as too much honesty, and even being stoned in a weird place didn't entirely make people forget themselves. "It's bad planning to need someone else to see you in order to survive. That's why people hang themselves from rafters. The key to survival? Is not being emotionally dependent." But even that speech, offered in the darkness and with the glowing reflection of mirrors ahead, didn't have the bitter bile aftertaste that Cat's words often did. He was tired of the bitter, and he was sick of the taste of it on his tongue.
He didn't want misery. He wanted to enjoy life, and wasn't that the problem? God, he needed to get out of his own head, and he needed to leave the trauma at the doorstep.
But, alright, God, and he rolled his eyes when Jack told him to shut up. Could he tell Jack was nervy in the dark? No, but that could hardly be surprising. Cat, who was pressed back to the wall and trying not to think about being locked in darkened rooms with medical equipment sometimes glinting beneath a huge white light, was barely functioning, and he sure wasn't looking outward.
"Let's split up," Cat suggested, and he pushed away from the wall. Better to be scared alone, and he hadn't lost all his pride. With a salute to Jack, hand high and slicing away from black curls, he disappeared down a row of shining mirrors. No, literally, he disappeared. There one moment, gone the next, and poof, but, you know, without the smoke. Smoke and mirrors... hah... get it?