Re: [ER: Newt & Patrick]
Newt was entirely aware the touch to the ankle was too much. Any time he did something that made Patrick think of what the eyes of others would perceive, it was too much. He understood that now. He regretted it, and he did mess about with his fringe. Until Patrick said as much. Newt flashed him a look, but he dropped his touch.—Then, none of that was important at all. Patrick, eyes closed, was speaking, and Newt—he listened, quietly and patiently, and, at the end, he sighed as Patrick did.
"I can't begin to understand how difficult this all must be for you. You're brave, Patrick. You don't feel it, I know, but, you don't see what I do. Everything you're saying, it's a lot. It'd be a lot for anyone, even a 'real dude.' Even a man my age. Older. No one can handle all of these things. The men you're thinking of are a myth, dear heart. We, all of us, need help. We, all of us, feel overwhelmed at times. What you're going through, it's terrifying. Losing someone close to you. Feeling you're going to hurt someone else close to you. People looking at you differently, extrapolating from a single scrap of knowledge." Newt rolled his lips together. He kept his hands loosely knotted on his thigh, to keep himself from doing anything with them. But, he looked right at Patrick, so that if the younger man opened his eyes, his gaze was snared in warm amber. "I think what you're not seeing, however, is that this is temporary. It doesn't feel it, but it is. The hopelessness, specifically. Shame is a terrible thing, Patrick. It eats at us and makes us believe things that aren't true. It distorts the world as it exists and it distorts us to ourselves. You're not weak. I told your brother when we last spoke, there was a time when I struggled with who I was. Not struggled with. Hated, really. I told you I spent that summer in the Forbidden Forest. I'm afraid it's uglier than that. But, the fact remains, my darling, that I'm here for you, others are, if you'd like them to be. You can't bear this on your own. I know you want to. But, you do mean very much to me, as a friend, and I know you. You'd help me, without question, were our positions reversed. You don't like hearing it, but you're young and this is a lot. It's all right to feel what you're feeling. That's what you need to know: it's okay."
It was rather a lot of talking. Newt finally shut his gob and he squeezed his fingers together, so he'd not muck about with his fringe.