Re: Patrick G/Adrian M
[Time fuzz. Right before this, when he's checking to ensure his notifs will be saved while he is away, and seeing all three comments at the same time.]
You don't want the two of us to end up together. It is noted, bro. I know you feel this way, and I knew you were going to feel this before I even told you about what happened. I comprehend. I acknowledge that you feel this. I acknowledge your pain. I see it. But Newt does care that he hurts you, man. He cares a lot. But you are asking him to subvert his own wants for your wants, and that never works, dude.
I own that I am your bro, and I did this thing to you. I own it. I accept it. I am not making excuses for it. I acknowledge the pain I have caused you. I acknowledge your anger.
I will attempt to stop, but I cannot guarantee this, man. But I will attempt. All right? For you, I will try.
Now, with that said, I am not taking anything from you. You and Newt are terrible for each other. You are toxic. You make each other miserable, and this is not something that is yours. Dude broke up with you like a year ago, man, and I know this is hard for you to accept, but it is true. Move on, man. I say this as a bro that loves you. Move the fuck on. It is time.
But, and after all this, do not start with this suicidal thoughts bullshit. I was trying to make you understand something you callously refuse to understand because you wallow in your own pain, dude. I was trying to get you to see. I was not asking you to now, all of sudden, give a shit and attempt to therapy me. I am working through shit on my own, and I request you drop this. You are acting like one sentence gives you an understanding of me or what is going on in my head, and it does not. You pull it out of context and claim it as your own worrying point. Man, no. I am not suicidal. Leave it. It is not yours. It is mine.
I am off to meet Mary shortly. I do not know how long I will be away, and I am not sure when I will be back. If things go poorly, I may not come back at all. But, dude, do me a fucking favor and try to distract yourself elsewhere. It will be good for you and good for him. When you interact with people, try to discuss things that are not Newt. Try to ask them about themselves. Get to know people, Adrian. This is my wish for you, bro, from your kid brother who is sorry he hurt you.