Re: Quicklog, Patrick's cabin: Patrick G/Newt P
[Newt laughed at the joke and its quite stupid absurdity.] Bodily humor, as I said. [Not that his joke about wanking'd been about anything higher brow, but perhaps it was saved by not relying on a pun. He grinned and shook his head.] One more then?
[He'd not thought it sounded like hypocrisy—well, perhaps on Sue's part, but that was to be expected and fully at that.] No, but I suppose he thinks it is when it's me, though I've no idea why. [Patrick talking of Adrian and Sue was, Newt thought, undoubtedly true in some capacity. It made sense, as well. It was a safe separation. It wasn't, he didn't think, conscious, but that didn't make it untrue, did it?] Do you think he'd be better off, if he could very well be put back together? I do agree, about Sue as a general scapegoat and safe place for feelings Adrian's likely afraid or ashamed of. When we've discussed it, him and I, he said it was because of the Obscurus, his dissociation, and I, I'm ashamed to admit, got rather too frustrated to keep up the conversation. It goes back before that, I'm sure of it. To his mother, I should think, not Webster.
[Patrick stared at the ceiling. Newt ascertained this in a gold-glint glance.] I don't want to bleed, no. Something about the act of cutting—being cut—was arousing to him. It's not to me. And I rather think we all want to be wanted, don't we? He was simply quite open about it or... needy for it, perhaps. [Which seemed somewhat sad to Newt, but he didn't say that.—Patrick shoved up onto bare elbows in the feather bed. Newt caught the movement in his periphery.] Oh, yes, darling, I think people can tell. Most, anyway. And even if I wasn't, something about me seems as if I am. I got plenty of trouble for it. [A pause to press lips together.] I only said it in that, perhaps it would offer you some relief to know no one can tell from looking at you. You aren't betrayed by how you look or act. [When Patrick sat up, Newt let his gaze wander over slowly, to feet, where it buzzed about. He smiled slightly, though it was offered in slight discomfort.] Yes, well, I fear you were right. Once it's out, it's out, and it changes things whether we want it to or not. I'm watching my own behavior, because I'd not forgive myself for making you uncomfortable or—if I made you question if this was something that was negative for me, and so on. If I'd not said it, you wouldn't've asked. Now it feels I've rather put it all on the line for no real reason.