Re: Cat C/Adrian M
The selfishness of humans has never been so comforting. [...] I know I feel things that aren't kind. But I also feel how much I owe them. When I get angry with them, it makes me desperate. I don't want them to cut me off. Newt especially. I feel as if he could at any time. I'm not easy. Getting angry makes that worse. I am lucky they put up with me. I don't want to make it too hard for them to. [...] I don't think Patrick would ever cut me off. He's too loyal. But he might start looking at me more as an obligation than a brother. I don't want that. I want to be of value to their lives. They've both been there for me.
There are parts of myself I believe in. I've felt on the back foot with Newt since I first overstepped and told him I loved him. The hole keeps getting deeper. [...] You think I could get his interest back?