Re: adrian m/patrick g
"Or maybe these stupid town events just allow me to see parts of myself I try to ignore otherwise."
Persistent unwanted thought syndrome is when you think of something terrible and can't stop thinking about it. Most people have random thoughts cross their mind all the time, even crazy ones. Or violent ones, dangerous ones. They don't think twice about it. It's just a thought to them. But to some people, it isn't a thought. A thought is as frightening as an intention. So they try not to think about the thought. Or make rituals so the thoughts go away. I had it as a kid. What you learn is that thinking bad things, or making up bad theoretical scenarios, doesn't make you bad. The thoughts are just thoughts. Imagined things are imagined. They don't corrupt you, or change you. You felt this in person, and now you can't get the thought of it out of your head. You're obsessing over the sensations. You think because your hand still feels broken, it makes it real. Or that you were ignoring it before, but it's real now. So you try not to think about it, which means you think about it more.