Re: quicklog: motel - adrian/ren
Adrian leaned forward in the chair, both hands grasped around the glass. "I'm not," he said, looking down into the glass. "Just a scientist." But he did smile a little at the compliment. He wasn't overly modest. He was conscious of his accomplishments, and aware that many others would be unable to do the same. Still, he didn't think of himself as a genius. That implied uniqueness. He was just a talented scientist. His research had yet to yield any practical fruit, after all.
He took a slow swallow from the glass. The beer was still pleasantly cool from the refrigerated section at the liquor store, implying, of course, that he had come straight here. "I've been at a dead end for a few months now. I may need to admit to myself that I need to pursue other avenues. Which...is difficult." Pale fingers flattened into the glass, and he blinked rapidly. "I have a chronic illness. It isn't serious, mostly, but it flares up on occasion. I wanted to develop a treatment for it. I thought it could mean a breakthrough for treating other diseases like it. I realized that wouldn't be possible. So then I studied it, to see if I could learn from it, and apply my findings. Develop potential treatments for other illnesses using it." His lips thinned. "Dead end there. Also." He polished off the glass, and reached for the bottle again. "Someone I know told me that I should stop trying to cure it. I no longer have a choice. So I need to learn to cope with it. Acknowledge that a cure won't come. That is difficult."