Re: [carnival: misha and james] I’m real glad you’re here
James exhaled a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding in, a sigh of relief. He was welcomed to stay and that made him happier than anything else had up until then beyond getting that second change to reconnect with Nilus. Nilus truly made him happy. It was the human part of him that was floundering in the darkness. Something was off, he could tell, but James lacked the knowledge to place exactly what it was. There were always consequences for everything.
“Thanks. That means a lot to me.”
A laugh escaped him, a soft noise of amusement. “When you’re not sad, generally you’re happy. I don’t feel happy, but I don’t really know why.” It was hard to explain. He didn’t feel unhappy or sad, but that elation he recalled came with true happiness wasn’t there as he’d been expecting it to. He felt an emptiness. But James also felt safistaction, relief, a plethora of good things that he didn’t have a name for in lieu of that glee.
“When you’re a ghost you see everything. It’s like you’re looking at the world through a mirror. You cant touch anything, anyone, even if that’s all you want in the world.” He listened to the rest, brow furrowing. James had loathed those Doctors, anyone that touched Nilus with anything other than good intent.
James was glad to have met Misha. Misha was kind, if not naive, “Thanks. A spot away from the noise would be good, soldiers are apt to get PTSD from time to time, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. We hear things from war, even the little things can trigger it.” He didn’t know much about it, just things he’d heard about or read over Nilus’ shoulder. “Apparently you can get violent when this happens. I’ve never felt like that, but it could happen. I’d hate for anything to happen to Nilus.” Especially if it came from his own hand because of the noise.