Re: Misha B/Damian W
It is a part of it, yes. I told him to leave me alone, twice, and it did not matter to him as much as his burning desire to know what he could have asked you. Then, of course, he implied I was as selfish as he was. I am weak, I know, and volatile, at present. It is not his fault. Under normal circumstances, I like to think I would have the restraint to answer him and move on. I regret I did not have this today. All I wished to do was throttle him. But his selfishness grates me. [...] Do you not think that were I smarter, better able, I would not have to take so very much time to learn that which everyone else apparently already knows? That which I do not even know if it is superior to my own approach. [...] You are no fool and you are a carny, whatever he said. But I do not think you are wrong about how we are viewed. I wish for you to always feel as if your feelings are important, Misha, as they are important to me and you have been ignored enough.
Yes, [...] well, I cannot do it anyway. I am too busy nearly dying of my own stupidity. I am not the man I want to be, nor the man they would require. [...] Do you know what you would wish to do, were I to sell the carnival? And is it truly what you wish? Is it spoiled, because of Abraham, et cetera? I do not want to do it and for you to regret it or resent me for it.