Re: Misha B/Damian W
Nothing I do for anyone is ever enough. I cannot lead the family, though I try. They still moan to one another about the old days. All my effort, everything, is for naught, because they do not care. It is the same with Dietre. No matter what I do, it is not sufficient. All I asked was for him to leave me alone and he could not do that. He then implies I am as selfish and bound by convenience as he is. At the same time, Catalone tells me that all employees are thus, as if I am overly sensitive and unskilled and it is my fault it bothers me. I am no great businessman, but I was raised to lead. If I cannot even do that—[...] I am not meant to be selfish either, but here I am. Con's memories led him to believe we were friends. His disappointment that I am as I am is palpable. More than that, he criticizes how I speak. Everyone criticizes how I speak. And perhaps, another time, I would brush it off, as what are their opinions to me? But I feel [...] small and weak and they are only saying that, indeed, what I feel is true. I will never be enough, not for any of them, not for Grandfather either, and perhaps I only need to come to terms with it, but I cannot, at the moment. No matter how hard I try, I cannot.