Misha and Damian
[The gift of a full-blown apartment was not something Jason was counting on while doing his Christmas shopping. Instead, they receive a pocket address book with the first page clearly marked WRITE DOWN ALL YOUR CURRENT ADDRESSES, plus a small box with return shipping included. Thankfully, the gift also includes -
For Misha: A book wrapped inside a sweater that clearly gave Jason the impression it might be something Misha would like. The book is inscribed on the front endpaper. Glad you're part of this family. Stick around. - J
For Damian: Damian also receives a sweater and a book. Also included, however, is a pocket notebook filled with around 40 hand-written coupons. They may be cashed in for services such as Stepping Up, Talking Someone Down from Ledge, Therapy Session by Seriously Unqualified Therapist, and Backrub.
The book is inscribed, Laugh, fucker. Merry Christmas. - J