Re: In-person: Misha B/Damian W
You always say that. [There was a real small memory of a smile in that teasing, at the fact that Damian had, at the begin, insisted pretty regular that he was real. As for the nearness, it was consent. It wasn't even just implied, seeing as it came with Misha reaching more for the other boy, tugging him close when Damian moved toward white-draped knees and causing fabric to shove up 'round pale kneecaps.]
You ain't weak. You fight wanting something every day, and that ain't weak. Folks fight that fight and fail daily, and lives are busted up on account, and I ain't got a clue what it feels like, not really. I can read 'bout it and hear, but it ain't the same as you feeling it, and you fight it every morning when you wake and 'til you go to bed each night. [It was Xanax calm talking, true 'nough, but Misha just had an easier time focusing outward, even when he was falling apart inside.] Did you buy anything? I'll get rid of it, if you're inclined, if you did. [That ghost of a smile returned.] I always think of you always. [Course, this still wasn't Damian, not to Misha's mind, not really, but it was easier to talk that way, and he settled hands on the other boy's hips during that rambling.] Talking's hard. Talking's thinking and recalling, and recalling ain't easy. It's things I'd rather you not know, the real you, and I don't want you looking at me and thinking on things. Like taking Titus away. I didn't need that. That was a result of something I said. What I said changed something. [Then, just on account of the need to say it, even if it was awful.] I never did nothing with any- I never did. My daddy always said he loved me too much to make me, and I believed that meant he did, that I was real lucky. We- We would watch, but that's all. I didn't do a thing to stop it neither. See? If this was really you, that ain't something I want you knowing, and it ain't something I even think 'bout. Not when I ain't- [He fluttered a hand off Damian's hip to motion to himself.] But it don't matter, on account of you're not here. You took the amulet off, so that means you ain't coming back. But you never did take too much, and it was never all 'bout you. I came off a real terrible relationship and you made it better. [His eyes, black-ate, were real damp and he lifted a shoulder in a shrug.] I like being there for you. It makes me feel good to help when you're feeling bad.