Re: log: adrian and ren
It had been a difficult week, between things coming to a screeching halt with Newt and the mess with his siblings, the anger that continued to war with a more comfortable state of studied numbness. Adrian much preferred an even keel of nothing to spikes of anger, lashing out at people who wanted nothing more than to help.
There was still a smoldering kernel, drowned deep. But anger, as he'd already told someone, was of no use to him. And no one, he had learned, was comfortable hearing it from him. He watched Ren work at a fresh cup of tea, grateful that the worst of it seemed to have faded under the pressure of tight control and too much sleeping. He didn't want it. No one wanted it.
"You should tell me what I should read," he said. Now that he was finished straightening up the table, he let his hands fall into his lap, eyes roving to the door. "History and philosophy. I like history, not so much philosophy. I can grasp the concepts, but the purpose of the debate. Not so much." He smiled faintly. "I think my morals are too simple." He clasped his hands together.
He listened to the story, and, naturally, tried to apply it to a setting. Family business? Criminal past? "There's a weight in expectation," he said, blinking at the tabletop. "Good or bad." Whenever anyone had decided who you were and who you would be, there was a tendency to rebel. He'd felt it himself, but then, he didn't rebel much. His weighty expectations that his work be excellent and his behavior not hurt anyone were both falling short, recently. Then again, the expectations others had of him weighed heavier all the time - that he wasn't stable, or that he required taking care of, talking around rather than talking to. Not that he'd done much to dissuade them.
He looked up when Ren leaned over, and he listened a little more. Sleepy dark eyes were keen indeed when he was interested, lending his sharp face a more than slightly feline quality. "It doesn't have possibility," he agreed. "It has all the freedom of a dead end. Sometimes we need that."