Re: [Quiet Home: Escape]
“Not important,” was his reply to Misha, but that man was very important to Nilus. Were he in a state to mourn all over again, he would’ve wept over the image of the soldier. It was his fault after all. His face remained neutral, despite the overwhelming feeling welling up inside. Such things confused him, emotion and anxiety. It was all very human. He had no business experiencing any of it. While he could no longer agree to the treatment, the medicine had helped him ignore the symptoms of a broken heart.
Instead, he focused on the now. He was away from that place of horrors. Nilus had left a friend behind, but he could handle himself. He’d given him what he hoped was the confidence to smite his demons. If anything remained beyond the memory wipe he’d want to keep that.
Misha was beside him, ailing from hallucinations that would haunt him. There was nothing he could do about it in the state he was in. He couldn’t even help himself. Brother to brother, he sheltered him with his wing as best he could, those dull feathers that once held the light of heaven. When Damian spoke again, he weighed his words. Nilus had been a gift from the people in Egypt, Samuel was what he’d chosen, and John was a burden upon his grace. Freedom held a lot of meaning to him, a sense of belonging.
“Tzadkiel,” he uttered his name, his true name and thunder rumbled in the distance. “Sachiel, Zedekiel, Zadakiel, Zedekul, Hesediel,” he had many names. The angel of mercy, freedom and benevolence, his twin brother was Zophiel. His missed him terribly. They followed Michael into battle, flag bearers of Heaven. All of this he relayed to Misha with a mere thought. The image of a once proud angel, he wore shining armor, his wings spanned the sky, his grace as bright as the sun.
“Zeke... Zophiel called me Zeke in moments away from the flock,” he’d said more today than he had in a long time. It felt good to talk about it and not keep such secrets to himself. A part of him was healing, that wound that time created while he was away from his post. “Your help in this matter is appreciated, Damian. I cannot bring myself to serve justice where it is due- that is my brother and he abandoned me long ago.”