Re: carnival: sparrow/matt
She remembered recent things, now things, but she had no idea if those would fade. Maybe she had recent things before, now things, and maybe they'd become nothings. Maybe her memories were short, short, and they would all go with the passing of time. She knew no one from before, and so she had no way of knowing. In a year, this might be gone. Less, because she couldn't remember a full year now, not complete, not entirely. She remembered men, but not the way he remembered women. She remembered men in the here and now, and she remembered every single moment, all the way back until when she remembered nothing.
But there was emptiness, and there was something missing, and she knew that, even if she didn't know what it was.
"Something is better." She said it sadly, but with a knowing that said she had already figured it out, even if she yearned to be denied the reality of it. "Do you keep forgetting? Or do you remember everything back to a certain point, a moment?" She asked it curiously, sweet and licking her lips. There was no seduction in that swipe of tongue, though there was ample seduction to the woman that took his hand and stood. But he was interesting to her in a way that had little to do with money, with the pleasure of skin against skin, or with the allure of feeling alive for a few minutes, feeling loved, and she thought maybe she'd been loved once.
He didn't reach for her robe. He didn't do anything to indicate that he wanted anything more from her than this. As she'd told the boy on the forums, sometimes this was all people wanted. To talk. To talk to someone who would listen, to talk to someone who didn't already know all their secrets. To pretend, and to be something different for a few minutes. And that was okay.
He held her hand tighter, and she gave him a smile devoid of artifice. "How did I sound different?" She tugged on the hand that held hers tight, and she sat on the bed and scooted close to where mattress disappeared behind wall. "Sit. Tell me. Talk, oui? Je écouterai."