Re: [misha & jude: the capital]
[Misha remembered that show as Oliver wanting to show him off, not on account of how the boy felt, but on account of wanting Jude to be impressed. There had been a whole lot of whispering backstage 'bout how Misha was meant to act, how he wasn't meant to act, and what he was meant to say. He recalled the night with a real bad feeling in his belly. Performing, it was what Misha did, and he'd begun with Oliver by performing, but it had gone beyond that by the time Jude went to the carnival with Oliver.] I'm saying the world don't reckon copying is art. They don't reckon it with any art. Writing, painting, playing, it's only art if it's new. That's all I'm saying, and it don't mean I agree, and it don't mean I'm saying a thing 'bout feeling. You asked 'bout art. I reckon it's all art. It's all beautiful, and it don't matter who created it or who's playing it. Some covers of songs, they resonate with me a whole lot stronger than the original. [As if to prove the point, he sang a few bars of Wainwright's version of Hallelujah, which was a whole lot different than Cohen's.
[Oliver had never talked to Misha 'bout college, band Misha looked at Jude like Jude might have got it all wrong.] It wasn't long enough, Honey, not if the boy didn't learn how to do laundry or open a bank account. I ain't sure what your brother was doing off at school, but it might not be how you think. When I met your brother, he was real fussed with you thinking he was healthy and in love and independent. Could be him going to college was more of the same. [Oliver, whatever foray he'd had into the world, it hadn't been significant.] I reckon it might be like now, where he's living by himself, but he ain't experiencing anything alone in that trailer he's calling home, and which he keeps putting off letting me see. He's pretending, and it's for you, and it ain't for himself or for the rest of us. I got him talking to a musician friend I know, which I hope goes well, and I know he's talking to the boy he met at the party, so I got hope talking with folks helps him get out some more.
[Misha shook his head.] Difficult, it ain't the right word. Living is as hard as it is beautiful. All of it, it's real blinding, and I want all of it, the good and the bad. Sometimes, the bad's harder to get through, but I wouldn't wish it away. It's living, see, good or bad. [Misha smiled warmly, honest from beginning to end. He wouldn't change anything experienced. For Misha, every experience was a thing soaked into the sponge that was his skin.] I ain't sure what you mean 'bout 'tween realities and bedding. They're both just me. I reckon you can't mix up things that make up a person. I was in jail for the one, but both are considered mental problems.
[Misha walked into the bar first, and didn't turn to respond to Jude's quiet-spoke comment 'til they were up near the empty piano.] Oliver didn't love me, Honey. Oliver, he ain't experienced that sensation yet, and I don't reckon he understands how, but I'm hoping he will some day. [He nodded to the piano, and he nudged Jude's shoulder with his own.] Go on.