Welp, that wins the prize for worst mental image of 2k15. (If this is your subtle way of asking someone to diagnose your STI, I think you're better off going to the free clinic.)
So how'd you piss off the HOA? Lawn half a centimetre too tall? Decorative dick-shaped trellis panels? Don't steal that last idea, btw. I'm saving it for when I renovate.