Re: In-person: Sam A/Cris M
[SHE doesn't trust her, and she doesn't understand why he does. She doesn't get it, yeah? No matter how she tries. Maybe she doesn't put faith in enough stuff, not like him and his saints, yeah? The only thing she puts faith in is the curl of his hand against the back of her head, and she knows that's something that comes without guarantee, yeah? He doesn't get it, but she does. She could run him off if she fucked shit up bad enough, if she messes up with the kid.
He asks if she's worried, and she nods, and then peers up through pale lashes when he turns his cheek toward her.] What if I fuck it up? What I forget her somewhere or something? What if it's gross like Marta when she's born, and you don't want me anymore? Because I'll fuck it up on my own, yeah? I don't want her with me if that happens. She's better with you, and if she's not white or whatever, then it's easy, yeah? It's a no brainer or whatever. [Fast, the words tumble.] I'm scared of shit, Cris. Really fucking scared clean. When I was fucked up, it was easier. Day to day, yeah? It was a lot fucking easier.