Re: Oliver/Misha
[His mind's not so clear, so responding comes slow and the words don't come real easy.]
I ain't been well recently, so if anything sounds real convoluted, you just tell me.
Me and Damian, we been talking the better part of a year. Ain't a thing happened tween us til last week. When me and you met at the home, I thought you were pretty as could be, sulking with your curls all askew, and I thought I could maybe help some. But I didn't count on how I would feel. Lying to your brother, it wasn't anything bad for me, but I always felt like I couldn't compare to that man. I ain't sure you see if from the outside, rhubarb, but you cling to him real tight, and it felt like there was only room for me if he wasn't nearby. It also seemed like you were real ashamed of me, and I started feeling real bad over it.
That day in the hospital, I really wanted to see you something terrible. I was worried over you, and you wanted me to come until Jude said he was coming, and then me coming wasn't so important no more. I got to feeling bad bout all of it, and I got to feeling confused bout it.
Then there was Damian. Things have been real awful for me for months now, and he wanted to help me solve it. His daddy adopted me, which I reckon you know, and I know I said I was going to live with him. It's been a nightmare for me, real awful, and he was there for helping, and we just got ourselves real close over it.
It never felt like you wanted me close to you, sugar. I understand that a whole lot, in more ways than most folks, but I meant what I said to you the other day. I ain't going anywhere, and it ain't bout being together. It's bout wanting to be there for you. I know things with your brother are real hard just now, but you ain't alone. You said no one cared bout you but him, and that ain't true neither.
Damian ain't going to ask you to leave. He ain't like that, Oli.
I reckon you like me, and could be you like being round me, but that don't mean we got to be intimate or romantic. I always felt like that was forced on you, like something you had to pay in order for me to keep you safe, or be a backup for Jude some. It ain't true. I'm still right here without all that.