Re: Sonrisa: Sam A & Cris M
He didn't expect it from her, yeah? But she still wanted to be able to give him that. A lot of her self-worth was about being there for other people. Back before she got fucked up, that was her main role in all her family relationships, all her friendships. Hell, it was even the role she filled for Neil or whatever, and now she couldn't do that for the ONE PERSON she wanted to be there for.
He said he knew, yeah? Kiss to her hair, and he called her mocosa, and she shoved at his shoulders. But it wasn't angry this time, yeah? It was a fond shove of painted palms against his bare shoulders, fingers leaving the twine of his hair in favor of the frustrated-adoring shove. "Shut up. I hate you." Pouty, which was better than before, yeah? Better than any of the stuff that had come before. None of that frenetic rocking, and she wasn't hitting herself, and her breathing was less shallow and hyperventilating. She shoved again, just because, and then she ducked head and pressed crown to his chin. She breathed deep, tried to find some kind of fucking calm amid paint and him. She rubbed her feet against his, stupid and slow, and she whined when he shifted, like it annoyed her for him to try to put space between them.
And he'd asked her to stay a lot of times, yeah? Back in New York, when she wasn't ready, and when the thought of living with anyone felt like walls closing in. Like Al, with his locked doors and windows. Or like Neil, where it was lonelier inside a fucking suite, sharing oxygen with someone who wasn't really there. But it was different with Cris, and there was the added fear of getting used to it, yeah? To becoming accustomed to having a real kind of life, and then him fucking off.
But she felt his heart race, and fingers slid down to press on messy paint over chest. "Yeah?" She was considering it, yeah? Obvious, and her chewing at the inside of her cheek. "I still got to come here for work every day." She wasn't looking up at him, head still ducked shy. "I got one thing that I need, even if I just crash for a little." She managed that bold, despite that old fucking tendency to shut up and agree to keep him from being pissed. "You can say no, yeah? And then I stay here, and it's all good."