Re: Call: Sam/Cris
[He listens, listens, listens, doesn't interrupt, but when she's done, he's talking.] I'm not gonna get sicka you. I don't want you to try to not be frustratin'. The reason I end up frustrated is 'cause I can tell you want or need somethin', but I dunno what it is and you won't say. Or, if you do, you reneg and feel bad about it, and I don't want that. I don't want you feelin' guilty 'cause you ask for things. Don't try to not be frustratin'. Mami, I'm with you for the long haul. Even if for five minutes, I gotta go find that fuckin' table face thing, it don't mean I don't love you and it don't mean I'm sicka you. It means I wanna give you somethin', I wanna be there, but I dunno how. [Deep breath.] I get bein' all over the place. I'm like that a lot, huh? Just kinda goin' on my whims or thosea the people around me, feelin' good, then bad, then bouncin' back. I get that. What worries me is that you're reelin' like that 'cause you don't feel... I dunno, grounded enough in us, in me lovin' you, so you're always worryin', ¿sabes? You don't trust I'm gonna stay or love you or want you, 'cause maybe I'm doin' something or not doin' something, and it means every lil thing I do, stupid or not, you take as a sign for or against your idea, and it's not like that. [He tries to remember his point.] You're notta waste. I want you to think 'bout Joey. Where she'd be right now, if you weren't there takin' carea her. Ted too. I wouldn't be able to be out here, lookin' at this stuff. You've done so much, you just never give yourself credit. Runnin' the store is productive. We're moved up top now, we got our own place, we got Meredith gone, we got Joey, we got you workin', me gettin' there—we're doin' good. What I think is we spend so much time carin' 'bout other people and what they're doin', by the time we come back to ourselves, we ain't sure what we're doin' or what we need and it leaves us unsteady, but we'll get there. [Another deep breath.] Why're you thinkin' so much 'bout bein' productive or not?