Re: Central & Main: Sam A & Cris M
Nah, man, this was her coping. The alternative was nothing either of them wanted to deal with, yeah? When she spiraled, she SPIRALED, and there was a lot of shit going on here that was bigger than her. She got that, and she was proud she could keep her own shit contained, tied in like her skin was a straitjacket, and she hadn't been able to do that before. She was even getting used to the itch when she jonesed, yeah? She thought maybe it was like the pain when someone cut themselves, and the hurt made her remember she wasn't fucking it all up. And she'd screamed it in his face, yeah? In his office that day with the punching bag, and that not being everyone's problem was important to her. HE had things going on, BIG things. Then there was Iris, and there was Lou, and there was D, and there was the town. She felt like keeping added pressure off was good. It was coping. If she dumped her problems on him right then, he'd crumble. She fucking knew that, and he wasn't gonna crumble because of her, not again.
And the thing about Meredith, was that she WOULDN'T stay over there. Sam knew obsessions, and Meredith was obsessed. Ok, breaking Meredith's face would keep her feeling sorry for herself and quiet a few months max, and then she'd be up to her old tricks again. In the Bronx, there would be no Meredith. Simple, yeah?
So, yeah, she focused on her nails light against his scalp, and she caught tears soft on calloused fingers. He moved when she tugged, and she gave him her shoulder to lean on, because he wasn't supposed to be on his leg, and she thought about that with every fucking step he took. She shoulda left a note or something, yeah? So he didn't walk out here. And, ok, she was surprised about the backseat, but she didn't fight him on it or anything. She crawled in with him, and she frowned down at his leg, stretched out and uncomfortable looking like it was. "We should-"
But then he said they couldn't go home, and she frowned, because that shit made no sense. Heartbeat, and she realized he meant HE couldn't go home, because Iris was apparently being fucking difficult, and so he had to go back to work. Which, of course, pissed Sam the fuck off. He needed to be home and resting, yeah? His lashes were sticking together with tears, and he needed to go home. "They can call you upstairs if they need anything. Iris is gonna stay in there and be a fucking pain in the ass as long as she can. She never says shit straight, but there's nothing you can do, so we go home, and you REST. I can drive, yeah?"
Stubborn, and she moved, like she was gonna climb over into the front seat and do just that.