Re: In-person: Cris/Sam
YOU MAKE IT BETTER FOR ME, SAM, YOU JUST CAN'T FIX ME, OKAY? [She keeps talking like he's fucked up, like he's insulting her, like she's not enough, when that ain't what he's saying.] No matter how fucked up everything is, bein' with you makes it better too, Sam, okay? But, it don't FIX me. One person CAN'T fix another, no matter what you fuckin' say. You can feel better when I'm there, like shit's tolerable, but you—it don't fuckin' fix you, Sam, huh? You need more than I can give, because I'm just one fucked up guy, okay? You think you don't, but you DO. I've experienced it. And, DIOS, I NEVER SAID YOU WERE A PROBLEM. [He can't win. She thinks they're disagreeing and he don't think they're actually saying anything different and it's driving him nuts.] I know! I know! I was a selfish fuck, Sam, I know. We were in the fuckin' car to the hospital. If I had had any fuckin' self-control—if I wasn't selfish, I woulda not said shit. And, fuck, even sayin' shit didn't help, 'cause apparently you heard me sayin' something I never woulda said. Okay? You don't make me unhappy—unhappier, nonea that. PLEASE stop sayin' that, because that is NOT what I'm sayin'.
[And louder now.] YOU'RE NOT EXHAUSTIN'. [He shakes her a lil bit. Not hard. Just a jerka shoulders.] SAM. A year ago, you tried to jump into fuckin' traffic and I fucked up and put you in with a buncha criminals. Don't fuckin' tell me it's different. IT'S NOT DIFFERENT. I have NEVER been able to do the shit I want. It's not YOU! ¿ENTIENDES? [He waves a hand, letting her go finally. He don't wanna talk about his goddamn knee.] Shut UP, Sam. Your stuff ain't too frustratin'. I'm just not good at it, huh? This is how I always been. Maybe you didn't see that, but it's true. Ever since I got too attached to you, from the go, I ain't been good at it, 'cause I wanna help and I can't like I wanna. That ain't changed!