Re: Amy/Jamie
So it's kind of all or nothing. You complaining about it, or feeling the bad stuff, overloads you?
I think me and Mars haven't like, helped that. Me because I've felt a lot of stuff over like, the last ten years kinda, and I let that stuff fuck me up when you first started talking about family here, and I guess we've never really gotten over it. Mars, because of her thing about not being her sister, which I don't think is like, 100% where she's at anyway. I think you're you. I think you're you not because of Si, or Molly, but because you just are. The fact of how you're here I guess is important to you. And how you feel about that is like, something I'm trying not to fuck with because idt anyone's feels about it except yours matter. I haven't like, asked because I figure you talk to Si about stuff and tbh, I've been an asshole about it enough times that it's probably like, kind of a crappy idea.
But I guess what I'm saying is I think you were right to be sure in the first place. I don't think the family is conditional. I don't think Mars can be forced, because it isn't something that can be forced. We're kind of fucked up individually and maybe that makes the family stuff harder, maybe Molly made it easier. idk. But I don't think Mars's feels stop you being my sister or hers. She just feels fucked up by it. And that's like, hers to feel. And I think if it's hard, so what? We keep doing it until it stops being hard.
I've been talking to David actually. He told me he thinks he's dead? Which is ftr, on the list of ways we're all fucked up. I think Seven needs to be kind to ALL of you. I don't know about good for him, but if we're a thing, then I can't have that be ugly for anyone in my family. I think I'm pretty like, protective of Mars because she's little and I live with her and her stuff, like, the way she feels is pretty obvious. I think maybe it's not clear that I kinda feel the same way about you and Si. I don't know if Si is going to ever talk to him, he was that like, firm on it.