Re: Upstairs: Holly/Noah
In spite of literally knowing/feeling/etc. the internal world of people around him, man, Noah didn't like... feeling selfish? There was probably some reason or something that that was such a thing for him, but he def couldn't have said why (maybe his parents??), except that he didn't want to be selfish. He didn't want to make it about him. He didn't want to, like, build a connection between himself and whatever horrible thing had happened to Audrey. That felt fucked and he didn't like it.
Just like he didn't like the idea of sleep. The sensation of not breathing had come back to him a couple times during the day, or, like, the fear of it happening and then suddenly he'd be like, can I breathe? Am I breathing? And he'd feel like he wasn't, and then it would build on itself. He hadn't shared this with Holly as of yet, mostly bc the dude had been working and Noah had, at this point, mostly forgotten. "I was just thinking maybe if I take my Xanax, I can shut it out enough or shut my brain off enough." He wasn't trying to score anything heavy, and maybe Holly would need his meds someday. "I can just try." Noah squeezed his already-closed eyes tighter, then relaxed with a breath. "It's easier with you here."